Saw X-MEN last night with the usual suspects. It was a terrible ordeal to watch it on the sidelines. The entire film looked like it was going to tip over me. And the plot was really really terrible! Prior to that I saw the trailer of MATRIX 2 and was totally aghast to find that it’s all the usual thing, more flying around, more bullet time! How much more can public taste devolved? Havent they found a new way of presenting a fight scene instead of the usual chop suey wire works from Hong Kong?
With Chinese or Asian films.its ok to have that. THAT’S TRADITION! But when Americans ape it like Drew Barrymore and Keanuts Reeves…It’s disgusting! Even Xmen 2 wasn’t spared the Hong Kong spin.
I rather liked the first one so I was disappointed to find 2 as bad as it can get. Of course someone dies…but as in movies and in comic books. They come back! OHHHBOY!
CESS: “ So how was the movie?”
FLIM: “ Terrible! Should have just saved gas and bought the pirated copy in quiapo.”
CESS: “ How did it end? “
FLIM: “ OH you know….she bites the dust and then there’s a pan across the water and some CG animated shadow of a bird flying below.! “
CESS: “ DARK PHOENIX! “
FLIM: “ What is it about dark Phoenix that has everyone running around with erections?”
CESS: “ Well she was boring as Jean grey.”
FLIM:” I need some sleeping pills.”
Wednesday, April 23, 2003
FLIM'S LAPU-LAPU
Cess saw a black folder tucked in beside my graphic novels.
CESS: “ LAPU-LAPU? What is this?
She leafs thru it.
CESS: “ It’s a script? It’s a film script! “
FLIM: “ Made that back in 93. It’s supposed to be an epic. Around 2 hours plus! With a cast of thousands! Three full-scale galleon ships in the background being boarded by the warriors of MACTAN. It’s going to be the national epic! Like the MAHABHARATA! “
CESS:” It’s actually completed! “
She reads certain pages.
FLIM: “ That would be fun to do. With 40 million pesos! “
CESS: “ Hey it’s actually funny!
FLIM: “ Kinda. I find everything irreverent. Guess that’s my personal spin.”
CESS: “ Even KING Philip’s funny.”
LAPU-LAPU is the first national hero of the country. The first to say FUCK YOU! To the SPANIARDS when the tribes were too busy bowing and kissing Portuguese butts! Rizal is the most popular but doing a movie about his life is for MERCHANT AND IVORY. LAPU-LAPU is blood on spears, bolos with remnants of human skull and hair glinting in the noonday sun. GORE! BEHEADINGS and primal screams in the forests!
CESS: “ Hey this is very funny.But the historians will tear you to shreds!”
FLIM: " I dont want to do a straight forward film adaptation.That would be pretty boring.I want to do my own spin on it.But LITO LAPID pretty much damned any LAPU-LAPU material.That subjectwould be untouchable for another ten years.But then again I dont think ten years is enough to raise 40 million pesos."
I peeked at the page.
FLIM: Maybe I can add my name on the title. You know like FLIM'S LAPU-LAPU. To defferentiate it from LAPID'S APU-LAPU.
Just the same way that LAPID'S CHICARON (dried pig skin)ensures the buyers that they are buying not just any other chicharon . But LAPID'S!
Cess continues to read it.
CESS: " Funny and strange! "
FLIM: “What’s funnier is LITO LAPID as LAPU-LAPU. Saw that movie. The music was lifted off PLANET OF THE APES. They could have composed their own. We have a lot of indigenous musical instruments to make it unique. I don’t know. But I did find the death of LAPULAPU in the film quite interesting. I just don’t know if it was historically accurate.
CESS: “ What happened to him? “
FLIM: “ He was tied to four different carabaos going on four different directions. Sounds like the government right? ”
Cess saw a black folder tucked in beside my graphic novels.
CESS: “ LAPU-LAPU? What is this?
She leafs thru it.
CESS: “ It’s a script? It’s a film script! “
FLIM: “ Made that back in 93. It’s supposed to be an epic. Around 2 hours plus! With a cast of thousands! Three full-scale galleon ships in the background being boarded by the warriors of MACTAN. It’s going to be the national epic! Like the MAHABHARATA! “
CESS:” It’s actually completed! “
She reads certain pages.
FLIM: “ That would be fun to do. With 40 million pesos! “
CESS: “ Hey it’s actually funny!
FLIM: “ Kinda. I find everything irreverent. Guess that’s my personal spin.”
CESS: “ Even KING Philip’s funny.”
LAPU-LAPU is the first national hero of the country. The first to say FUCK YOU! To the SPANIARDS when the tribes were too busy bowing and kissing Portuguese butts! Rizal is the most popular but doing a movie about his life is for MERCHANT AND IVORY. LAPU-LAPU is blood on spears, bolos with remnants of human skull and hair glinting in the noonday sun. GORE! BEHEADINGS and primal screams in the forests!
CESS: “ Hey this is very funny.But the historians will tear you to shreds!”
FLIM: " I dont want to do a straight forward film adaptation.That would be pretty boring.I want to do my own spin on it.But LITO LAPID pretty much damned any LAPU-LAPU material.That subjectwould be untouchable for another ten years.But then again I dont think ten years is enough to raise 40 million pesos."
I peeked at the page.
FLIM: Maybe I can add my name on the title. You know like FLIM'S LAPU-LAPU. To defferentiate it from LAPID'S APU-LAPU.
Just the same way that LAPID'S CHICARON (dried pig skin)ensures the buyers that they are buying not just any other chicharon . But LAPID'S!
Cess continues to read it.
CESS: " Funny and strange! "
FLIM: “What’s funnier is LITO LAPID as LAPU-LAPU. Saw that movie. The music was lifted off PLANET OF THE APES. They could have composed their own. We have a lot of indigenous musical instruments to make it unique. I don’t know. But I did find the death of LAPULAPU in the film quite interesting. I just don’t know if it was historically accurate.
CESS: “ What happened to him? “
FLIM: “ He was tied to four different carabaos going on four different directions. Sounds like the government right? ”
Finally finished the children’s story that my publisher friend had been asking for. ( In between bouts of editing and viewing the dallies )I have never written for children so I really don’t know if she’s going to like it. She gave me a list of things to include. It’s a veritable road map to insure that the book gets a commercial run.
Since it’s her ball game. I followed her plot ingredients. I just added a thing or two that reflects my sensibilities. There are dark forces looming on the horizon but not blatantly so. Just a whiff of suggestion. There are mysterious and sinister adults who ask very mundane yet sinister questions.
Cess said that the story seems a little too dark for children.
FLIM: “ Well then … I made a children’s story for children with dark sensibilities.
I hope I get to do the drawings on this one. I’m going to use the paint program. That is if she will allow it to be publish.
CESS: “ What kind of title is this? USOG ?”
SELINA’S FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
Her voice was the loudest in the classroom and you can hear her a mile away. She already formed a gang of bullies within the first two hours. During recess they gave the teacher a headache by dousing each other with milk On the way home she head butt the maid because she did not want to leave yet without saying goodbye to her new gang.
What can I say? THAT’S MY GIRL.
Since it’s her ball game. I followed her plot ingredients. I just added a thing or two that reflects my sensibilities. There are dark forces looming on the horizon but not blatantly so. Just a whiff of suggestion. There are mysterious and sinister adults who ask very mundane yet sinister questions.
Cess said that the story seems a little too dark for children.
FLIM: “ Well then … I made a children’s story for children with dark sensibilities.
I hope I get to do the drawings on this one. I’m going to use the paint program. That is if she will allow it to be publish.
CESS: “ What kind of title is this? USOG ?”
SELINA’S FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
Her voice was the loudest in the classroom and you can hear her a mile away. She already formed a gang of bullies within the first two hours. During recess they gave the teacher a headache by dousing each other with milk On the way home she head butt the maid because she did not want to leave yet without saying goodbye to her new gang.
What can I say? THAT’S MY GIRL.
Wednesday, April 16, 2003
USOG
I have not been writing anything in the blog for….. I don’t know. Been extremely busy editing and wading thru the thirty- four hours of plus footages. The other day something notable happened that I just had to jot down. Our resident termite EXTERMINATOR contractor dropped by for her daily inspection. Seems that her termite checker has psychic powers because in a matter of minutes our maid suffered a stomach ache coupled by intense vomiting.
She then claimed that the man who entered the house gave her USOG! I don’t know if there’s an English equivalent for that. My guess is it’s some sort of HEX! But this one isn’t caused by malice. It’s like an empathic/osmosis kind of thing on a psychic level.A person who has the gift of USOG can project his/her feelings of hunger or pain to the other person within striking distance. Thus giving the unintended target a “ SHARING EXPERIENCE! “
At least that’s what the maid claimed to have happened to her. I looked at Cess and we both did funny circles on the head. I went back to the editing bay and after a few minutes of clicking and clicking there was a knock on the door.
DELIA THE MAID: “ Ser! I need the saliva of the termiteman. HE GAVE ME THE USOG..SO IT MUST BE HIM TO TAKE IT AWAY! “
FLIM: “ You know …it’s all in your head! Just take an aspirin and lie down and you’ll feel better! “
MAID: “I WONT! I WILL DIE IF HIS SALIVA ISN’T UPON ME! “
FLIM: “ASK CESS the number of the termite woman. I don’t HAVE IT WITH ME! “
She closed the door and the sound of moaning and retching went down the stairs.After twenty minutes of film going back and forth. There is another knock on the door.
MAID: “ SER! THE TERMITE MAN CANNOT BE REACHED! WE MUST CONTACT HIM AND HIS SALIVA MUST BE UPON ME! “
I stood up and shut the door. I have had enough of this crap! But then again it seems like a very interesting plotline.If I weren’t so busy I would write a short story or script about it. (And I did! Emailed it to a publisher friend of mine and he wants to publish it. )
Five minutes later, there is another knock.
MAID: “ SER! I NEED YOUR SALIVA! “
FLIM: “ Excuse me? “
MAID: “ SER! I NEED YOU TO PUT YOUR SALIVA ON YOUR FINGER AND DRAW A CROSS-ON MY STOMACH. TO TAKE AWAY THE USOG! “
FLIM: “ DAMNIT! I HAVE TO FINISH THIS MOVIE BY JUNE AND I DON’T HAVE THE TIME TO PARTICIPATE IN YOUR STRANGE TRIBAL HABITS!
MAID:” SER! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
FLIM: “ AND ISN’T IT SUPPOSED TO BE THE TERMITE MAN’S SALIVA THAT WILL CURE YOU? HE GAVE YOU THAT. …THAT USOG RIGHT? “
MAID: “ SER! I’M DESPERATE. YOUR SALIVA MIGHT CANCEL IT OUT. YOU HAVE POWERS TOO! “
FLIM: ”MY POWERS WON’T WORK ON YOU AND IT’S NOT THE HEALING KIND! “
MAID:” SER PLEASE HELP ME. IM DYING HERE! “
It’s not easy to find help these days so I kicked the chair back and stood in front of her.
FLIM: “ MAKE IT QUICK! “
DELIA: “ Ser put saliva on your fingers! “
I followed like an idiot!
FLIM: “ Then what? “
DELIA: “ Draw a cross on my stomach and say “ USOG, USOG COME OUT FROM HER!”
I Looked at her and then at the other maid.
MAID2: “ Ser you have to follow the words.”
Now it’s confirmed. THERE ARE 3 IDIOTS IN THE HOUSE!
After drawing the cross I went back inside the editing room.
FLIM: ‘ NOW DON’T! DON’T! DISTURB ME EVER AGAIN!!!!!! “
I shut the door and worked for an hour. Then I fell asleep.
Woke up at around 4 in the afternoon. I had a stomach cramp. Bad air knocking around my insides and farting rigorously.
What the fuck did I eat to cause this crap? Thought about the pork and bagoong or the eggplant steamed with garlic sauce and…DELIAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!
DELIA was standing on the stairway and defending herself.
FLIM: “ NOW I GOT YOUR USOG! YOU BETTER TAKE IT OUT! CAUSE NOW I’M THE ONE IN PAIN! I KNEW I SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE IT! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU’RE NICE TO PEOPLE! ARGGGHHHHH! “
DELIA: “ But ser! IT doesn’t work like that! Someone can give you an USOG and that someone can take it away but no one can retrieve an USOG and then have the USOG!
FLIM: ‘ FUCK THE USOG! HOW DO I GET WELL FROM THIS STOMACH ACHE ? “
MAID2: “ Here sir! I’m going to spit on my finger and draw a cross and say the words.” USOG!USOG!"
Which she did! ( I'm turning this whole incident into a movie,a short story and a comic book!!!!!)
FLIM: “ DELIA!!!!!YOU SEEMED CURED? IT’S BECAUSE THAT USOG TRANSFERRED ON ME RIGHT?????”
DELIA: “ No sir! I boiled the shirt I was wearing and drank the soup! “
FLIM: “ come again? “
DELIA: “ I drank the soup from the boiled shirt I was wearing. That’s another cure.”
FLIM: “ CESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!”
Cess shook her head as she watched Maid 2 draw another cross on my stomach.
CESS: “ I’m the only civilized person in this house.”
I have not been writing anything in the blog for….. I don’t know. Been extremely busy editing and wading thru the thirty- four hours of plus footages. The other day something notable happened that I just had to jot down. Our resident termite EXTERMINATOR contractor dropped by for her daily inspection. Seems that her termite checker has psychic powers because in a matter of minutes our maid suffered a stomach ache coupled by intense vomiting.
She then claimed that the man who entered the house gave her USOG! I don’t know if there’s an English equivalent for that. My guess is it’s some sort of HEX! But this one isn’t caused by malice. It’s like an empathic/osmosis kind of thing on a psychic level.A person who has the gift of USOG can project his/her feelings of hunger or pain to the other person within striking distance. Thus giving the unintended target a “ SHARING EXPERIENCE! “
At least that’s what the maid claimed to have happened to her. I looked at Cess and we both did funny circles on the head. I went back to the editing bay and after a few minutes of clicking and clicking there was a knock on the door.
DELIA THE MAID: “ Ser! I need the saliva of the termiteman. HE GAVE ME THE USOG..SO IT MUST BE HIM TO TAKE IT AWAY! “
FLIM: “ You know …it’s all in your head! Just take an aspirin and lie down and you’ll feel better! “
MAID: “I WONT! I WILL DIE IF HIS SALIVA ISN’T UPON ME! “
FLIM: “ASK CESS the number of the termite woman. I don’t HAVE IT WITH ME! “
She closed the door and the sound of moaning and retching went down the stairs.After twenty minutes of film going back and forth. There is another knock on the door.
MAID: “ SER! THE TERMITE MAN CANNOT BE REACHED! WE MUST CONTACT HIM AND HIS SALIVA MUST BE UPON ME! “
I stood up and shut the door. I have had enough of this crap! But then again it seems like a very interesting plotline.If I weren’t so busy I would write a short story or script about it. (And I did! Emailed it to a publisher friend of mine and he wants to publish it. )
Five minutes later, there is another knock.
MAID: “ SER! I NEED YOUR SALIVA! “
FLIM: “ Excuse me? “
MAID: “ SER! I NEED YOU TO PUT YOUR SALIVA ON YOUR FINGER AND DRAW A CROSS-ON MY STOMACH. TO TAKE AWAY THE USOG! “
FLIM: “ DAMNIT! I HAVE TO FINISH THIS MOVIE BY JUNE AND I DON’T HAVE THE TIME TO PARTICIPATE IN YOUR STRANGE TRIBAL HABITS!
MAID:” SER! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
FLIM: “ AND ISN’T IT SUPPOSED TO BE THE TERMITE MAN’S SALIVA THAT WILL CURE YOU? HE GAVE YOU THAT. …THAT USOG RIGHT? “
MAID: “ SER! I’M DESPERATE. YOUR SALIVA MIGHT CANCEL IT OUT. YOU HAVE POWERS TOO! “
FLIM: ”MY POWERS WON’T WORK ON YOU AND IT’S NOT THE HEALING KIND! “
MAID:” SER PLEASE HELP ME. IM DYING HERE! “
It’s not easy to find help these days so I kicked the chair back and stood in front of her.
FLIM: “ MAKE IT QUICK! “
DELIA: “ Ser put saliva on your fingers! “
I followed like an idiot!
FLIM: “ Then what? “
DELIA: “ Draw a cross on my stomach and say “ USOG, USOG COME OUT FROM HER!”
I Looked at her and then at the other maid.
MAID2: “ Ser you have to follow the words.”
Now it’s confirmed. THERE ARE 3 IDIOTS IN THE HOUSE!
After drawing the cross I went back inside the editing room.
FLIM: ‘ NOW DON’T! DON’T! DISTURB ME EVER AGAIN!!!!!! “
I shut the door and worked for an hour. Then I fell asleep.
Woke up at around 4 in the afternoon. I had a stomach cramp. Bad air knocking around my insides and farting rigorously.
What the fuck did I eat to cause this crap? Thought about the pork and bagoong or the eggplant steamed with garlic sauce and…DELIAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!
DELIA was standing on the stairway and defending herself.
FLIM: “ NOW I GOT YOUR USOG! YOU BETTER TAKE IT OUT! CAUSE NOW I’M THE ONE IN PAIN! I KNEW I SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE IT! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU’RE NICE TO PEOPLE! ARGGGHHHHH! “
DELIA: “ But ser! IT doesn’t work like that! Someone can give you an USOG and that someone can take it away but no one can retrieve an USOG and then have the USOG!
FLIM: ‘ FUCK THE USOG! HOW DO I GET WELL FROM THIS STOMACH ACHE ? “
MAID2: “ Here sir! I’m going to spit on my finger and draw a cross and say the words.” USOG!USOG!"
Which she did! ( I'm turning this whole incident into a movie,a short story and a comic book!!!!!)
FLIM: “ DELIA!!!!!YOU SEEMED CURED? IT’S BECAUSE THAT USOG TRANSFERRED ON ME RIGHT?????”
DELIA: “ No sir! I boiled the shirt I was wearing and drank the soup! “
FLIM: “ come again? “
DELIA: “ I drank the soup from the boiled shirt I was wearing. That’s another cure.”
FLIM: “ CESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!”
Cess shook her head as she watched Maid 2 draw another cross on my stomach.
CESS: “ I’m the only civilized person in this house.”
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