My Motorcycle and my computer form a symbiote relationship.A year ago they broke down a couple of days after each other.I dont really remember which broke down first ...but what the fuck does it matter. They both broke down anyways.

So I wasnt surprised when the computer broke down two weeks after the motorcycle. In fact I just shrugged my head and hauled the 70 pound equipment to the repair shop.As I stressed in the first blog entry a year ago, its a monster machine to carry from three floors down to two floors up and then reverse that!

When the system cannot find drive:d,I was in a panic because that's where I store my edited files. So I quickly backed it up.I consulted an in - law who happens to be a computer tech.He informed me that he problem solves computers and for 1,000 bucks he would do an analysis.

When I asked for a free consultation he gave me a slip-shod advise.When I asked for a more detailed consulation he wanted to charge me with the full amount.I told him that he hoped to god I don't come across him , bleeding in the highway or in need of help somewhere because I WON'T RAISE A FUCKING FINGER TO HELP HIM UNTIL I GET A CONSULTATION FEE!I ALSO told my sister, the pathologist who also doubles as a physian that whenever that in law would need her advise...that she should charge a consultation fee.

I then asked my wife's sister who also dabbles in pc repair for fun if she could check out the pc. She said that I should bring it to her office for her to take a look see.No consultation fee of 1,000 pesos was uttered.I figured I 'd just take her to lunch for helping out.

But since her office is just a few steps away from the pc shop, I told myself maybe I should just bring it to the shop instead of bothering her.Fixing up comps is not her real job and I might be intruding in her day job which is real estate.And instead of paying a consultation fee to my -in law,I'd go to a place where if there is a problem ..then they would have the resources and the spare parts to repair them.

I hauled it back to the shop where I had the system assembled.The tech pulled this wire and this and that! Turns out that the jumpers were mixed up.He also did a memory check. Drive d is ok he said.Just the jumpers.

Hard drives have a very limited life span.You'd be lucky if your's reached four years. Nowadays the manufacturer's motto is quantity over quality!

I was looking on 5oo pesos for consultation and repair fee and the system check up. WHICH TOTALLY IS CHEAPER THAN the I consult for 1,000 fee guy!

Then we discovered that drive c which holds all my system files is the one in danger of going KAPUT!

I told the tech if we replaced drive c what would happen to all the installed programs. He said not to worry because there is a program that would just transfer and not copy the files.

So I rushed to have my yen changed to peso and plucked out a sizeable amount of money and changed the hard drive.

When I got home my back was aching like hell.But the hard work is done. All I need to do is to dive at the back of the editing systems and squish my way thru a small path at he back of teh viewscreens to re-attach the wires and cables.Then I opened the air con and just sit back and streched my legs.Ahh...

Then Joe called and asked how the pc repair went. I told him that I had my hard drvie changed to this particular brand.He said that the brand I bought was defective. He bought the same brand and in 3 days , his hard drive concked out.

Of course that had to happen. I mean I was sitting there, relaxing myself.Feet up and the cool air conditioning cooling my back and he tells me that I got a bad hard drive.A brand new defective brand name hard drive.

When I was in the shop I asked for a particular brand that I knew was good. But unfortunately they didnt have it in 40 gig. So I had to settle with this other brand. That they said was also good.

I called the computer tech again and asked if I could have my hard drive replaced with this particular brand.

They said that its possible because they now have one.

I asked when did it arrive.

Just a few hours ago when I left.

FUCKING TYPICAL!

So I told them that I would..............sigh...........bring back the pc and have the present hard drive changed to that particular brand.

AFter putting down the phone I took a deep breath and started to disconnect the cables again. I had to controt my body in more difficult positions that would shame a yogi, just to reach the cables.

Then I made a phone call to my tech guy. I said that I was going to replace the hard drive with another brand. When I told him what brand he said that he prefered that one as well.

Typical.

But he said that there might be any harddrive with that brand.

I began to get irritated. I told him that I just called their supply section. So i talked to the supply guy whp assured me that he already reserved the hard drive for me.

So BRING THE DAMN PC TO THE DAMN SHOP, TAKE TWO! But this time the sun wasnt shining. It was raining like hell. Of course why shouldnt it be raining!I was amazed that a flashflood didnt hit us when we approached the shop.

When I got there . The hard drive was changed and we began transfering the operational programs. They have this cool way of transfering th eoperating system from one hard drive to the other without haveing to reinstall everything!

Everyone who operates a computer knows what an absolute thrill it is to reinstall every program you have. Its the equivalent of repeating grade four, over and over again!

But this cool process does away with that. I asked the tech guy if we were just copying and pasting the files. he said that it wasnt like that. It was transfering!

After the process was completed. We tested the pc. First shut off and rebooth was good.later the dvd rom developed a conflict with the other drives when it was boothing. So we ad to re arrange the os.

We fixed that.Back in the editing room, as i switched it on , it went smoothly. but the second re booth. It failed to detect I DONT KNOW WHICH HARD DRIVE IT WAS!

Five days later , the system cant detect one of teh hard drvies again. So i hauled it back to the shop.

We changed the old hard drive and replaced it with another and NOW THERE'S STILL THE SAME FUCKING PROBLEM! I glared at the tech guy who fixed it the last time.He asked somebody else to take over. While the other guy was fiddling with it. A thought occured to me.Maybe the hard drive that he said was going kaput wasn't even KAPUT!Maybe he's just a bad repair guy.

So when a system check was being done on my pc, I took out the old hard drive and had it anaylzed.True enough,it wasnt even malfunctioning and there was no bad sector.

I constantly assured them that I would need it as a another hard drive for my other pc so they can accurately scan it. If they thought that I was on a witch hunt then they wil close ranks and protect their erring colleague.

So the truth came out . The hard drive was sound and stable!

And what made that gymp think that there's a problem? He heard a knocking sound on the hard drive.Amazing scientific analysis. A knocking sound. which can be attributed to a hundred things.

This guy should work for NASA.Then it would be easy to pin point what the problem was on the next challenger disaster!

Now the new guy tells me that the problem with the pc could be the motherboard or the memmory. Memmory ?Cant be! We ran a memmory check the last time. If its the motherboard then ASUS is the worst motherboard on EARTH! BECAUSE ITS ONLY BEEN TWO YEARS SINCE I REPLACED THE OTHER MOTHER BOARD THAT ALSO CONCKED OUT AFTER TWO YEARS AND ITS ALSO A MOTHERFUCKING ASUS!

TECH: " I realy cant tell what the problem is. The only way we can go about it is to isolate the matter. "

FLIM: " In laymans term. The pc is working now. But I should always have the car standing by because there might be another conk out."

TECH smiles.

FLIM: " Well at least when I haul this pc back to the car I wont have that we're safe, its fix feeling. Actually its worst. Assuming its fixed and then finding out it still has a problem than knowing that its temporarilty fix but there might still be a problem.

Some days you can never really win.

It started out with a simple morning ride. I took out the motorcycle and started to clean her up.I reached out thru those deep crevices of the engine block. The smelly and oily canyons of her swing arm. when I got to the cooling jet pipes I noticed a thin film of rust there. So what did I do I started rubbing it out.

Then I took her out and wore my new riding apparel.

After the first ten minutes, the cooling system delevoped a leak.So there was a large jet of green fluid sprouting on the left side of the bike, drenching my leg. Totally drenching my leg.The discomfort of a wet leg while going at 120 miles was increased due to the cold air that whipped around me.

And when I stopped the bike, the leak would spray anything and anyone within a 6 feet radius! When I checked where the leak was comming from...it was from the spot where I cleaned the rust off!

ARGGGHHHHH. Moral of the lesson, dont over clean... NO! The moral of the lesson...FUCK THERE'S NO MORALITY HERE!

I decided to take it to my old mechanics new repair shop. AS i dressed myself with my usual riding apparel which the above photo shows. i told myself that I wont wear my exquiste riding booths since my leg would be fully drenched anyway.But that was nothing compared to the prospect of spending the entire afternoon in a repair shop with a wet leg.

I told myself what the fuck...So when I got on the bike and ignited teh engines the familiar jet stream goes up.After five minutes the sensation of a wet leg started to irritate me. Twenty minutes into the trip, cab drivers would hail me and say...

" SOMTHING'S COMMING OUT FROM YOUR BIKE..."

YEAH, YEaH YEAH! ITS THE LINDA BLAIR MORNINg JUICE!

Now when I got to the aurora intersection, I jumped out of the bike...well nearly.
The cold coolant liquid turned into a steaming killsoup!It burned my left leg!

SHIT! Now how the fuck am I supposed to bring it to the shop? The left leg is the one I use to control the shift gears with. So I did a little improvisational driving. I lifted my left leg up the handle bar to avoid getting hit by the hot steaming coolant juice and would only bring it down when i need to shift gears!

I did this for like 40 minutes. when I reached the shop I nearly collapsed from exhaustion. And this was just the start of the week.



Just came from a toy hunting expedition and these are the only things I have to show for.I didn’t make it to the opening melee when the boxes of marvel legends arrived but from what I heard it was a feeding frenzy! A woman was elbowed in the face when the boxes were being opened by over zealous collectors who do not care for the life or limb of their kind. Her high heels went flying as she plummeted face down on the toy department floor.

Not one of the male collectors helped her in fact they even got the toys that she sheld and dashed to the cashier!

But what do you expect? TOY Collectors are known to be more savage than crocodiles or snakes! They are as greedy and inhumane as any politician you would bump into!
Collectors would grab more than one item and would snicker when you get there late and Not get the chase figure. Not only that they bring their girlfriends with them so that sorry fuck type is multiplied by 2.

You should see how the normal kids who tried buying their toys, fare! But then again just like what NIETZCHE said, that which does not kill you makes you stronger!

I have lost the passion for collecting when getting what you want means sinking to the same level as these spiritless bastards!

I don’t go to the toy conventions anymore. Its because its WHERE ALL THOSE SICK FUCKING BASTARDS CONGREGATE AND BRANDISH THE TOYS THEY AQCUIRED BY KICKING, STEALING AND ELBOWING their way to the boxes!

Then they grin their satanic teeth caps as you look at their collection. An invisible word balloon hovering over their heads saying, “ HEHEHE, I GOT MY CHASE DARK PHOENIX FIGURE AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS JUST STARE AT IT! “

My word balloon on the other hand would be, “ WELL I DATED AND HAD MORE BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIENDS THAT YOU WOULD EVER HAVE. IN FACT THAT’S THE REAL PROBLEM ISNT IT? YOU CAN’T GET A GOOD LOOKING GIRL SO YOU JUST WACK OFF UNDER THE SHADOW OF THAT DARK PHOENIX VARIANT! FUCK YOU! “

In the toy collectors website the Filipinos are known and called GREEDY BASTARDS when it comes to hoarding! With what I have seen that is definitely true. But there are exceptions.

When I came in late, I was looking for a JUGGERNAUGHT and I bumped into RICHARD another collector.
RICHARD: “ You’re late, man! “

He was clutching a JUGGERNAUGHT.

FLIM: “ FUCK I SHOULDN’T HAVE HANGED OUT IN THE BASEMENT I SHOULD HAVE GONE STRAIGHT HERE.”

RICHARD: “ What are you looking for anyway? “

FLIM: “ I’m looking for a dead pool and a JUGGERNAUGHT! “

Then I saw a guy clutching two dead pools that leered at me and then started running to the cashier like a thief who just stole his grandmother’s oxygen tank to pawn it off!

RICHARD: “ That asshole got the last two! Anyway here take mine! “

He then offers me his JUGGERNAUGHT!

FLIM: “ Uhm thanks. But what about you? “

RICHARD: “ I got mine already. I was just shopping and I saw these two juggernaughts. What else are you looking for? You want to get CARNAGE? I have one here. “

Carnage is a very rare figure from the SPIDERMAN action figure series.

FLIM: “ Ughh… I don’t think I like that figure. No thanks.”

RICHARD: “ Trust me. Get this. You might need it next time…to trade with…”

So I reluctantly took the carnage.

FLIM: “ Its not that I’m not grateful but why are you giving up these rare toys? “

RICHARD: “ I got two already in the house and I don’t really need more. Besides I don’t like to see collectors arriving late and then having this expression on their faces like” Ohm the train left without me.” I believe that collectors should always help each other get the toys that they like. With out any profit… “

We chatted for a few minutes and then he went off and started helping the other latecomers get the toys that they missed. Too bad no more dead pool or juggernaughts.

DIGTAL CAM
Cess and I have been arguing on what kind of digital camera to buy. I was gunning for the high end one but she said that it was too bulky for her to lug around. I swore that I would be her black African porter and I’ll carry them baggages if we get the high end bulky one. Cess countered with the small is better.

FLIM: “ Digital cameras are not like cellfones. SMALLER isn’t better! In fact the smaller the camera is the shittier the picture they take. Remember when they had instamatics? Well those are instamatics! LETS GET THE BIG ONE!

CESS: “ I just want one that would fit in my bag! “

FLIM: “ Well if it’s that small then it might fit in anyone’s bag! IN FACT THEY CAN FIT IN ANYONES BAG THAT YOU Can easily leave them on a café table or a comic book counter and then someone else with a bigger bag than yours would waltz in there and fit it in their bags.”

CESS: “ And I wouldn’t want to lug something that big if we do go out of the country! “

FLIM: “ They have porters outside the country! “

CESS: “ Let me think! “

In the end we compromised. And we got something that was a little too big but not that big!

THE MANY FACES OF SELINA



KEY MASTER


THE RELUCTANT STUDENT


I always carry a set of 29 keys. Keys that open several cabinets full of books, dvds and my rare toys. It also carries the key to the viewing room. Selina always petsers me in the afternoon to watch her favorite programs. Which are … SOUTHPARK, FUTURAMA, WALLACE AND GROMIT,SHERCKS 1 & 2.

I was in the john that particular time and she kept bugging me to open the viewing room.
So I gave her the ring with 29 keys and I told her to open it herself. Then I closed the door.

As I read while waiting for the call of nature I suddenly heard a sound.

CLICK!

Which was followed by another sound that of the viewing door opening. I immediately open the bathroom door and saw her as she came in.

FLIM: “ How the hell did you find the key to the viewing room? “

I took her aside and locked the door again. I then gave her the set of keys. She took them and inspected each and every one of them. Until she came to the actual key …then and only then did she push it into the keyhole and opened the door.

I don’t leave my keys hanging around for her to inspect so I was totally floored!

AMAZING!

RELUCTANT STUDENT

Cess was tutoring Selina with her day lessons. And her way of giving the kid some initiative is to bribe her with powerpuff girl stickers.

CESS: " Selina do your assignment! "

SELINA: " NO!I DONT LIKE! "

CESS: " If you do your assignment ...I will give you two powerpuff stickers! "

Selina strokes her cheek and looks at her mom.

SELINA: " Show me the stickers first!"

THE RETURN OF DICKHEAD



Surprise, surprise. The SEXMEN are coming back! I originally came up with their first adventure when we were editing my first tv series.My drawings were rough because it was just meant to be a storyboard for a flick. I added the word ballons to serve as a script guideline.
Then I thought, No way can this be done effectively without the major backing of a studio and no studio would ever back this up. Then just turn this into a comic book.

I then drew part 2 and part 3.

My drawing style with 2 and 3 was different from the first one because on both of them I used thumbnail sketches and I preplanned the page layouts.On Issue 1 I just drew them in storyboard form. More concerned about the story and the flow of the action.

When I finished 2 and 3, I then set out to print issue 1.But I just cant print issue 1 with the existing pages. They were very rough drawings on a bond paper with blue ink. I had to re-draw them and make them more ...nicer.

But when I saw the finished pages it just didnt seem to fit the seat of the pants storyline that I made. The drawing was too studied and limting for me. So I re-drew them again and tried to get the original rough look of the first draft in.

When issue one came out. I was heavily critized by some illustrators on my drawing style.Of course the concept of a comic book having a story and it playing a major part in the package was lost to them. But hey, different strokes for different folks.

Anyway I just set out to tell THE SEXMEN stories and if it infuriates a lot of people well thats the cherry on top.

I was realy surprised when it sold well.

I figured my market would be the 20 or 30 somethings who would be young enough to get what I was doing. The real shocker was when I was hanging out in Mike's comicshop and this distunguished gentleman wearing a suit and accompanied by his wife came to the store and went up to the saleslady.

GENTLEMAN: " HIja, Do you already have the copy of SEXMEN 2

( In the backcover of SEXMEN 1 I naively announced that I was comming out with #2 after one month.)

The saleslady cupped her mouth and began to snicker and then She pointed to me.

SALESLADY: " Why dont you ask him? He made it! "

The gentleman then walked towards me. And then extended his hand.

GENTLEMAN: " HIJO, I LOVE YOUR COMIC! I AM A FAN! "

I was shocked because... he was...well...he's ...mature.

FLIM: " Oh thank you. Uhh dont you find that sort of thing ..offensive? "

GENTLEMAN: " NO! IT'S FUNNY! IT'S VERY FUNNY! YOU HAVE A SICK SENSE OF HUMOR!GIANT MONSTER VAGINAS! You're a very naughty boy."

Then this lady pulled alongside of him and tapped his arm.

WOMAN: " Well Is it in yet ? "

Gentleman roars with laughter.

GENTLEMAN: " No its still here, sweet heart."

He then taps the front of his pants.

She blushes.

GENTLEMAN: " THis is my wife. Sweetheart, this is the boy who made SEXMEN."

She shakes my hand.

GENTLEMAN: " That comic book did wonders to our sex life. So when is it coming out ? "

FLIM: " Oh... as soon as I recover eh costs of the first one."

GENTLEMAN: " Here's my card. Give me a call when it comes out. I'm a fan."

I took the card. He's an executive at the ASIAN DEVELOPMENT BANK.

GENTLEMAN: " We have to go. Keep it up."

Well that made my day. When young people tell me they love it, I thank them and it feels good to know that your work affects people. But when the older set crowd tells you that they love your stuff. Then it means that your work has crossed a barrier that is something more difficult to bridge than nationality. The AGE GAP!

There was a long PAUSE from #1 TO #2. I'll detail those sad events some other time.Its a dark tale of betrayal and of sinister forces at work and would make for a great telling.And I had to abandon issue 2 and 3. I meet people who'd ask me what happened to issue 2 and I cant reply with a single answer.I told myself that 2 and 3 might be a story that would never be told.But...
you can't put a HARD MAN down...

And the best part is that there will be A SEXMEN MOVIE.The full details to follow.

So on to the second coming of THE SEXMEN.

Now if only I could find where I placed that calling card.

Just arrived from Alabang after doing the rough cut for the MOJO FLY video I directed two weeks ago. Jay, my editor picked me up from my place thru the driving rain because I couldn’t have ridden the bike it was raining and it would have been a bitch to clean up after wards. It was the driver’s day off so no car.

In the editing room we ordered a large thin crust and some fried potatoes and 4 bottles of beer. The first two was very cold…and nice. The latter ones were the stucked in the bodega type so you need lots of ice.

I kept piling up the list of post –production stuff I wanted done. Jay’s eyes glazed over.

JAY: “ That’s going to be bloody! You move the camera too much.

FLIM: “ But if it’s easy, where’s the fun in that? “

The best part about being an editor myself is that you don’t have to go thru the usual crap that lazy editors would give you. The ‘ it cant be done or we don’t have the program to do that shot. “ Or if you have to go thru that then you can counter with,” Get off that chair and I’ll do it myself! “

It began as I said two weeks ago when I was lounging around bibliotech during those rare moments when I can just relax and read the sealed books they have on display when my phone rang.

JAY: “ I want you to direct a MOJO FLY video.”

FLIM: “ Shouldn’t I be preparing for that cable series.”

JAY: “ There would be plenty of time for that.”

Initially the treatment Jay gave me (He’s also the producer) was the band driving around in a top down car and some rose garden or was it fields.

FLIM: “ NO WAY am I going to be involved in a top down drive by band playing their instruments, music video! Every generic band has done that to death! I want complete freedom with whatever treatment I do decide to shoot! “

JAY: “Dude, that’s why I want you, Give me your treatment as soon as I send you the cd.”

FLIM: “ I don’t need to listen to the song. I’ll give you this treatment.”

Funny enough He didn’t object to my treatment and neither did the band. HEHEHE Now let’s have some fun!

We had a 2 cam set up. One was locked and the other one, I hand held. Saved a lot of time for the set-up. The shoot was relatively easy. The props were very simple. There was a lot of cutting and pasting and stringing stuff and materials along. It was a simple set up.
Its the assembling and the parring down of the footage that’s the trick.

The funny part about all this is the music video is for a love song. Go figure!

Cess had the bright idea of buying advance tickets to the SPIDERMAN2 showing.

FLIM: “ Why? “

CESS: “ I don’t want to line up and then be late with the first few minutes of the movie because of the length of people queuing. Remember HARRY POTTER 3? “

FLIM: “ UGH How can I forget that terrible movie. Fine! “

So she goes over the ticket seller.

CESS: “ If we buy this ticket we wont have to fall in line to buy our tickets, right? We can go straight in.”

TICKET SELLER: “ Yes, mum. Its Hassle free.”

CESS: “ We want to watch it at …”

FLIM: “ Cinema 1. The projectors there are in good condition.”

Ever wonder why at certain parts of the movie the images are clear and then it goes hazy? Or when the images are very bright and then suddenly they go dark. That happens when the 2 projectors are not properly calibrated. Or they’re too old to be fixed. Or the projection lamp on projector 2 needs to be changed but they wont because it’s too expensive? Well those are the reasons. Choosing what theater to watch a movie in is very important.I already made a mental map of which theaters have very good projectors and those that don’t. I can remember how many times I turned down watching a film with friends because their choice in theaters are abysmal.

TICKET seller: “ YES YOU CAN WATCH AT CINEMA 1.”

FLIM: “ Great lets buy em! “

CESS: “ Now we wont have to line up with the hordes of people tomorrow when the film opens. Remember this is the only foreign film that will open against the sea of local films. ”

FLIM: “ Meaning? “

CESS: “ People are starved for good entertainment. You think they love watching those terrible Filipino films? Of course they will gorge themselves on SPIDERMAN 2 tomorrow.”

The following morning there is a huge typhoon. Even the weather hates the president whose oat taking is costing the nation, 5 MILLION PESOS!

FLIM: “ You know I was thinking. If there were a lot of people who bought the advance tickets so they wont line up then there will certainly be a line for them too.”

CESS: “ That won’t happen if the screening starts at 10. The mall opens at 10. But I’d better call them up and ask what time the screening starts.”

She comes back a few minutes later.

CESS: “ The screening is at 11:40.”

FLIM: “ By that time there will be a line for people who also bought the advance tickets.”

CESS: “ I think we better leave now.”

FLIM: “ Don’t you find this ironic? We bought the advance tickets so we wont have to line up with the rest of the rabble and now we have to hurry so we would be first in line with the people who don’t have to line up to get their tickets.”

CESS: “ Ohh, just get dress will you? “

We got to ROBINSONS at 10:15 and true enough there is a massive line outside the theater. I walk over the ticket seller and flash our tickets like a badge of courage.

FLIM: “ We don’t have to line up with these guys right? We can just walk in.”

TICKET SELLER: “ Oh yes sir.”

FLIM: So what time do you sell the tickets? “

TICKET SELLER: “ At 11 sir.”

So we hang out in front of the entrance. As the minutes tick I felt good that Cess came up with the plan. A group of ten people line up behind us. They too bought the advance tickets. The line of people buying tickets begun eyeing us with suspicion. Probably thinking why we don’t have to fall in line with them. When the usher comes in front of us, I show him the ticket

USHER: “ Sir this is only for cinemas 5 and 6. Not for cinema 1.”

Cess looks distraught.

CESS: “ Oh no.”

FLIM: “ So much for hassle free.”

Then I trained my guns on the usher. I love his cocky face as he delivered that news tidbit.I then drew a very deep breath.

And …

I let him have it.

FLIM: “ WHAT DO YOU MEAN CINEMA 5 AND 6? THE TICKET SELLER ASSURED US THAT THIS IS FOR CINEMA 1.”

USHER: “ Sorry sir this is for cinema 5 and 6.”

FLIM: “ I’M NOT GOING TO FALL IN LINE AGAIN! WE BOUGHT THIS TICKETS IN ADVANCE SO IT WONT BE HASSLE FREE. THAT WAS YOUR TAG LINE RIGHT?

Usher: “ Ok SIR. We will check with the manager.’

CESS: “ How can they do this? “

I turned around and looked at the line of advance ticket buyers.

FLIM: “ Can you believe this? They won’t let us in! THEY SAID our tickets are for CINEMA 5 AND 6.”

The crowd just looks at me. What a bunch of Zombies! I was expecting some kind of uproar. But all they did was scratch their heads and clenched their popcorns closer their breasts!
By this time the ticket booth started to sell tickets and the people who were lining up were coming in.

CESS: “ Look. They’re already letting people in. And we’re stuck here.”

FLIM: “ Hey! “

The usher comes back.

USHER: “ Sorry sir. They will let the two of you in. We just have to wait for our word from the manager.


FLIM: “ WERE NOT ONLY 2. HOW ABOUT THESE GUYS THEY BOUGHT THEIR TICKETS TOO! “

I then turned around and looked at the people behind me.

FLIM: “ COME ON GUYS! YOU SHOULD FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHTS AS CONSUMERS! “

But they just stood there quiet and scratching their heads while some ate their popcorns.

The usher comes back

USHER:” Sir can you go to the office and talk to the manager…

A guard in uniform started to postion himself in front of the usher and the entrance.

FLIM: IM NOT GOING TO THE OFFICE AND IM NOT GOING TO THE MANAGER. THIS ISNT OUR PROBLEM THIS IS A MANAGEMENT PROBLEM! COME ON CESS WERE GOING IN! “

Cess was hesitant to go in.But I grabbed her arm and I pushed the guard aside.WE then walked inside. i didn teven bother to give them a second look if they would follow us in to stop us

CESS: “ I can’t believe you just did that? They might arrest us!”

FLIM: “ The hell they will. They’re too flabbergasted to even react! We paid for our tickets! LET MANAGEMENT FIGURE IT OUT! “

CESS: “ We’re actually in! “

We picked the best seats in the house. Which is four rows in the back. Cess cannot watch if the seats are too near the screen. She has this eye problem. So whenever we watch we sometimes have to separate because seats in the back are very rare to come by.

After sitting. Cess starts to laugh on how we made a clean getaway.A 20 minutes later the film has not started yet and Someone from the the back chair leans forward and talks to me.

STUDENT: “ They finally let us in.”

He is one of the people who bought the advance tickets.

FLIM: “ Why did it take you that long to get in? “

STUDENT: “ After you came in, we tried to follow you but the guard started pushing us back. You are right. We should be more assertive with our rights as a consumer!”

Anyway there we were with a large cool drink and some ruffles cheese and garlic potatoes chips. Hoping that this movie is worth the aggravation.

CESS: “ When we exit can we just run past them.”

FLIM: “ Why are we going to run? We didn’t do anything wrong. In fact I’m going to go over the usher and have him stamp my arm! Just for fun! “


The film was worth the earlier skirmish. I love SPIDERMAN2. I didn’t like the first spidey flick. I thought it was blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. A BIG NOTHING! The green goblins mask was really bad and WILLIAM DAFOE was a big reject from the JACK NICHOLSON School for COMIC roles.

I also found the first one very bland for a SAM RAIMI film. Like he directed the film with two restraining bolts welded on his neck. I have been a fan since I saw the first EVIL DEAD film. Even CRIME WAVE, which was his follow up film, was still ok compared to SPIDERMAN1. There was nothing RAIMISH in his films after THE QUICK AND THE DEAD. FOR LOVE OF THE GAME was a COSTNER flick. But SPIDEY 2… SPIDEY 2 is amazing! RAIMI OF EVIL DEAD FAME RETURNS!

This is the second greatest COMIC BOOK FILM of ALL TIME.SUPERMAN 1 is still the film too beat. But it’s almost neck-to-neck. A Friend told me that XMEN 2 is till the sequel to beat!

PARDON MOI? Just because a sequel has more action beats and more explosions and you have the computer graphics running double time does NOT MAKE A FILM GOOD!XMEN 2 was just an excuse to see ADAMANTUIM CLAWS go click! BIG FUCKING DEAL!

SPIDEY2 has more fight scenes and more SPFX. But it also has more plot points and Charm to spare! I went thru a whole gamut of emotions when I saw the movie. I can remember even RETURN OF THE KING failed to do that for me.

DOCTOR OCTUPUS! Well Like I told Cess. He is the best spidey villain there is. He’s not too maniacal like NICOLSON or DAFOE. MOLINA is…well MOLINA.
Originally ARNULD SWAZ was DR OC. And LEONARDO DE CAPRI is PETER PARKER in the JAMES CAMERON version.

I think in the long run that we were lucky; CAMERON scuttled that project after winning the OSCAR. I don’t think ARNULD would have played it as effective as MOLINA. Every time I see arnuld I remember MR FREEZE and it …I just shudder.
Back or Molina, I like the Schizo like relationship he has with his four tentacles. Apparently all villains now have a schizo thing going on. Started with GOLLUM and then we have the GREEN GOBLIN.

Anyway the end shows DR OCTOPUS in the same league as ROY BATTY FROM BLADE RUNNER! Great villains who are larger than life and have the power to make their heroic opponents go,

“ OHHH…He did it. Wow! And I thought he was just a villain.”

CESS: “ How can they top DR OCTOPUS? Who are the other SPiDEY VILLAINS? “

FLIM: “ Well there’s the LIZARD… ELECTRO.”

CESS: “ Who’s ELCTRO? “

FLIM: “ Guy with electrical forks coming out of his head..”

CESS: “ Ugh…DR OC is the best.’

FLIM: “ There’s the vulture.”

CESS: “ What’s that?

FLIM: “ Old balding guy with feathers.”

CESS: “ Yuck.”

FIM: “ There’s the sandman…”

But I agree with her Nothing can top DOC OC. Even the new villain looming in the background doest seem so promising. I’m definitely going to see it again. Maybe in the same theater, I hope to see the same usher again. Maybe we will have a BOUT 2. Hehehehe

TIMING

While everybody slept, they proclaimed her, like a thief in the night. They had to do it in stealth. What does that say? Does that sound like somebody who won fair and square?
If I won…I wouldn’t have my proclamation in the wee hours of the morning. The only ones who are awake are those that are planning or doing NEFARIOUS DEEDS! I would have it in the middle of the day. Sometime before lunch. Having it afterwards, you lose about 30 percent of your viewers because of the siesta habit we appropriated from our Spanish conquerors. I would have it proclaimed thru the four corners of the archipelago that I won! THAT I AM NOW SOLE MASTER OF THE ISLANDS! THAT YOU IDIOTS WOULD BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!

You don’t tip toe your way to the Presidency. I can see her advisors, some of them wearing polka dot pajamas and teddy bear bathrobes. Surrounding her and mouthing off tips!
“ My advise to you, MR PRESIDENT is to have it around 3 AM. In that way you wont have howls of protest. The opposition would still be snoring and drooling on their pillows. By the time they read the papers while having their scrambled eggs and black coffee, they will be too lethargic to reply. They’d just shake it off as “CEST LA VIE.”

Now in the afternoon as the weight of their defeat sinks in. We come up with a unity plan and give them some choice appointments. They would be grateful and would shut up and slowly but surely we’d have them eating out of our hands. But the first step is the timing!

But remember not after lunch! They would be sleeping and digesting and that’s not a very good time to give them this whooper. Oh no. Must be after they wake up. Then they would be more susceptible to …dare I say it, suggestions? “

They did it while we all slept. But they could have done it in the middle of the day and we would have done nothing about it. Even when we are awake… we’re still ASLEEP!!!!

She has just been proclaimed and now our electrical rates are about to shot up! She made a deal with the devil and the piper has come to collect! What did you expect? How did she get that second rate anchor man to become her running mate without his mother company who conveniently owns the ELECTRIC COMPANY giving its blessing. OF COURSE SHE ‘S GOING TO PAY! BUT THE PROBLEM IS SHE’S NOT THE ONE DOING THE PAYING, WE ARE!

In this mornings paper she claims that she had no idea that the electrical rates would be raised. OF COURSE SHE WOULD CLAIM THAT! SHE RAN UNDER THE SLOGAN AND PROMISE THAT THE ELECTRIC RATES WOULD GO DOWN! AND HOW ON EARTH COULD SHE CLAIM THAT WHEN HER MAIN SUPPORTERS ARE THE FAMILY WHO OWNS THE ELCTRIC COMPANY!

And get this; the government would be spending 5 MILLION PESOS for her inauguration. 5 MILLION! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SPEND THAT MUCH FOR
INAGURATING A PRESIDENT? AND THEN THEY THINK OF NEW WAYS TO TAX US BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT DOESN’T HAVE ANY MONEY!

SO ON THE LEFT WE HAVE HER NEFARIOUS PARTNERS (THE ELECTRIC COMPANY and the family that owns it) who are already raising the rates as part of their war spoils and we have the government under her who would use public funds to GLORIFY her.

WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT??????

One of my filmmaking heroes will always be GARY KURTZ. He’s not too popular nowadays because he hasn’t done any high profile films lately but he did produced 3 films that are still considered one of the highest grossing films of all time. AMERICAN GRAFFITI, STARWARS and EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. I wrote earlier on that one of the reasons EPISODE 1AND 2 sucked was because GEORGE LUCAS hired RICK MCCALLUM as his producer. If you don’t believe me watch the DVDs of the a fore mentioned films. MCCALLUM is a YES MAN. He would stop at nothing short of kissing GEORGE LUCAS butts and praising hosannas as long as he gets to keep his job.

Unlike GARY KURTZ who stuck his neck out too often and told LUCAS that some of his ideas don’t work. Well if he didn’t then we would have the EWOKS A FILM TOO EARLY, prancing and uttering their inane gibberish on the HOTH PLANET!

In the early 80s, I remember opening the newspaper one morning and seeing the then PRESIDENT MARCOS welcoming the international delegates of the manila international film festival and my eyes nearly popped out! There seated across him was
GARY KURTZ! He’s a Quaker and had that trademark Quaker beard and the hair that was combed to the left! Of course there was no caption on the paper mentioning his name. But I know that face! His photos in Tunisia beside LUCAS doing STAR WARS were plastered all over the sci-fi magazines that I collected!

My guess was that he was here to promote the release of his latest film the JIM Henson directed DARK CRYSTAL. So I told my cousins who were STAR WARS FREAK that KURTZ was here and that we should shell out the then astronomical 300 pesos to watch the movie premiere in the hope of bumping into him and having him signed my JOHN WILLAIMS STAR WARS SOUNDTRACK DOUBLE LP.

We went in early on the look out for KURTZ. My cousin spotted BEN KINGSLEY who was there for GHANDI and ran after him for an autograph. I was never into the RICHARD ATTENBOURGH 3 HOUR EPIC ABOUT A THIN MAN WHO STARVED HIMSELF TO DEATH. I was into THE GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY.

I didn’t see him but I saw DARK CRYSTAL. It was ok not spectacular. There was something about watching a film starring puppets and marionettes that becomes tedious after the first hour. Anyway, Brian Froud designed some of the creatures in the film.

Kurtz is one of those unique film producers who went to film school and is a filmmaker. He shot second unit photography on STAR WARS and EMPIRE, He was also the still photograher on GODFATHER 2. He can talk and articulate on film preservation and acrhving using the optical printer and storing the original negs minus the primary three colours!

I wonder how EPISODE 1 AND 2 AND RETURN OF THE JEDI would have been like if KURTZ stayed on as producer. A hell of a lot better than the present versions!

And incidentally the original choice to play HAN SOLO was CHRISTOPHER WALKEN. TOSHIRO MIFUNE was being tagged to play OBI WAN KENOBI.

I don’t know about CHRISTOPHER WALKEN but I wonder who would be playing the young OBI WAN if MIFUNE agreed to play KENOBI.

CESS: “ Lend me something to read.”

I gave her MOONSHADOW. After a few hours she returns it to me.

CESS: “ This is really bad. This is full of 80’s pretentious stuff.”

FLIM: “ Don’t you find it poignant? “

CESS: “ It’s trying too hard to be deep …I don’t like it. Now lend me another one.”

So I gave her WATCHMEN.

CESS: “ This is heavy and thick.”

FLIM: “ Try it.”

CESS: “ But why is it dilapidated? “

Cause I left it inside the car and that stupid driver of ours left the windows open one time it was raining. IT GOT SOAKED!HOW CAN ANYONE LEAVE THE CAR WINDOWS OPEN WHEN ITS RAINING????

CESS: “ Well its your fault. You shouldn’t have left it inside the car. The car becomes an oven in the afternoon!

The following day. She returns it to me.

CESS: “ This is good. I like it. I felt bad about ROSHARK. I love his character.”

I took out my pristine V FOR VENDETTA

FLIM: “ Here READ THIS. This is even better.”

CESS: “ Just leave it there. I’ll get back to it I want to see this week’s episode of SIX FEET UNDER.”

FLIM: “ I don’t know about leaving it around…

CESS: “ You’re being too paranoid again.”

An inner voice told me that it would be a bad idea. I’m not use to just leaving my good books lying around. But I thought I was just being too paranoid. So I left it on the bed and we watched that bad series.

Then we ate lunch . When I leafed thru the copy I was shocked to find giant creases on the cover and the pages were mangled!

I SCREAMED IN HORROR!!!!!

I confronted the maid.

FLIM: “ WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BOOK??? ”

MAID: “ I didn’t do anything.”

FLIM: “ This book was pristine when I left it in the room and after you cleaned up…. Look at this now?”

But of course she continues to deny it.

CESS: Maybe it was damaged before.”

FLIM: “ No it was pristine and mint when I took it out of the shelf. Look at the folded edges. She dropped it while cleaning. It WAS ON THE BED! NOW ITS ON THE DRAWER! SOMETHING HAPPENED IN BETWEEN ITS TRIP FROM THE BED TO THE DRAWER! SHE DROPPED IT AND SHE WONT EVEN ADMIT IT!”

CESS: “ Yes I think she dropped it. Look at the pages. This is where it fell! “

FLIM: “ The thing that gets to me is that she wont even admit it!”

CESS: “ It takes strength of character to do that. If she has that then she wont be a maid anymore. Unlike JING-JING the maid we had before.She returned a 500peso bill that she found downstairs …now that is strength of character! “

CESS:” Besides it’s just a crease. You shouldn’t freak out over it! “

FLIM: “ Werent you the one who admonished me about leaving WATCHMEN inside the car? “

CESS: “ Let me take a look at it. Its not so …yes it doesn’t look so good anymore! “

FLIM: “ LOOK AT THAT GIANT CREASE! RUNNING ON THE FRONT COVER!
It’s like you take care of it. You read it without opening the spine too much.
You know how difficult it is to do that. Then this IDIOT comes waltzing in
and within a space of a few minutes she destroys something that took you 12
years to take care of!

I fondled my mangled V FOR VENDETTA.

CESS: “ Don’t feel bad. I’ll buy you a new copy. It’s my father’s day gift to you.”

It was nice of her to do so. But we’re not just talking about another copy. I had this copy since 92. It has been my book for 12 years.

Then the words of an old teacher came back, “ THE UNIVERSE ABHORS PERFECTION.”

Indeed. The driver drenched my WATCHMEN copy. Now its wrinkled and stained.
Then that stupid maid mangled V FOR VENDETTA. One thing’s for sure domestic helps really hate ALAN MOORE.

FLIM: “ I’m not going to connect the cable tv downstairs anymore.”

For days now I have been trying to repair the cable connection to the tv downstairs so that the domestic help would have access to cable tv. It has been connected for such a long time now but recently the link kept slipping off. Me being a nice guy would go out of my way to try fixing the problem so that the DOMESTICS would have something to watch.

But now all the semblance of a nice guy quickly left me

FLIM: “ I’m not going to connect the cable tv downstairs anymore.”

Anyway when they didn’t have cable they just watch the shitty programs in channel 2. When we had the cable connected downstairs they still stuck on channel 2. But the reception became clearer. Well now…

IN THE WORDS OF THE IMMORTAL KHAN NOON SIGN ,

FLIM: “ LET THEM MEET STATIC! “

DAY 4

Fever’s gone but still weak. Funny thing is the fish is now swimming belly up and quite vigorously.


DAY THREE

Cess is staring at the aquarium. Still coughing. General malaise. Cant even go to the gym because …joints hurt.

CESS: “ I hope the fish gets well.

FLIM: “ You can always get another fish. A prettier one than that! “

CESS: “ But Selina loves this fish. She even gave him a name, ELMO.”