MARVELS

The events that trasnspired below happened last thursday.

Yesterday I just got to the gym and was about to do a massive workout on my chest when I received a Tex from UNLEASH which says,

“THOR, STEALTH IRON MAN, THING WITH COAT, GHOST RIDER AND CAPTAIN AMERICA! “

FUCK! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

So I text back.

UNLEASH: “ THE TOYS HAVE ARRIVED. GO TO…”

Just when I have given up all hope. Just when I thought I was out, CAPTAIN AMERICA
DRAGS ME BACK IN!!!!

I immediately went to the phone and called TOY KINGDOM.

SALESLADY: “ Sorry sir…there’s a riot in here and I can’t stay on the phone.”

FLIM: “ Do you have a CAPTAIN AMERICA MARVEL LEGENDS series 1 in stock? “

SALESLADY: “ Yes sir! “

FLIM: “ Can you reserve one for me? “

SALESLADY: “ Sorry sir but I can’t make reservations. There’s already a riot here about MARVEL LEGENDS 3!”

FLIM: “ WHAT? “

SALESLADY: “ If you want the CAPTAIN AMERICA you have to get it now! I cannot assure you that you will get one by tomorrow.”

FLIM: “ ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! “

I put phone down and walked back to the bench and lifted the bar.

I’m not going all the way there just to get a measly piece of plastic. I’ll go there on my own good time. If its there then its there but if its not then…some other time.

FLIM:” ARGHHHHHHHHHH…. ONE! (pant!pant!Pant!)…TWO! ( pant! Pant! Pant! )

Its not like I can’t wait. I mean the last time…

FLIM: “ THREE! ( pant!pant!pant! )

...I saw it, there were dozens all over the city….

FLIM: “ FOUR! ( pant!pant! pant! )

Then it suddenly disappear! Only to reappear for 1700 pesos in ROBINSON’S GALLERIA.

FLIM: “FFFFFFFF….IIIIII…V V V V…EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!( pant!pant!pant! )

I'm not going! NO WAY! I HAVE TO WORKOUT! I already missed four days and I wont slacken up! NOT FOR ANY TOY!

.....DISAPPEARED! ONLY TO REAPPEAR FOR 1,700.

Four more days of no workout would give me a couple of BITCH TITS! And I HATE BITCH TITS! I have to do my chest!

...DISAPPEARED!

I HAVE TO…

...REAPPEARED FOR 1,700.

To hell with the chest!

I was off and running. I didn’t even change my workout attire. Perspiring and sweaty I ordered the driver to get us to TOY KINGDOM.

Along the way I was getting more updates from UNLEASH

UNLEASH: “ THERE’S NO MORE THOR AND GHOST RIDER… THE THING IS DISAPPEARING and so is THE STEALTH ARMOUR OF TONY STARK.”

FUCK THE ARMOUR WHAT ABOUT CAPTAIN AMERICA?

No reply. AW NO! Im not going all the way there to end up with my callous hands holding crap.

True to form the driver has this uncanny ability to attract traffic in whatever route he chooses. He is like a spawning salmon always going where the rabble is.Reached Mega mall forty-five minutes later and I sprinted like hell to TOY KINGDOM

The guard told me to open the bag but he was just harassing air…I was long gone and into the store.

And behold.

An entire rack filled with CAPTAIN AMERICA!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

CAPTAIN AMERICA here … CAPTAIN AMERICA there! CAPTAIN AMERICA EVERYWHERE!

The return of the RED AND THE WHITE AND THE BLUE COMES TRUE!

I WADED THRU THEM LIKE a Wolf among sheep.

Maybe I should only get one…Hell I 'll get 2. DARN How about ten?

Suddenly I became a glutton. Must be the result of months of CAPTAIN AMERICA DEPRAVATION! I went to the nearest saleslady.

FLIM: “ So where’s MIGHTY THOR and GHOST RIDER and THING in a trench coat and IRON MAN STEALTH ARMOUR? “

SALESLADY: “ Ayyyy…out of stock na. There was abig riot here. People were rushing and getting and rushing and getting. They were shoving and pushing and shoving and pushing! “

FLIM: “ Yeah I get the picture.”

Then UNLEASH TEXED ME.

UNLEASH: “ THERE’S A LOT OF THOR AND GHOST RIDER STILL AROUND. BUT THE SUPERVISOR IS HOARDING IT FOR HIS SPECIAL COSTUMERS.”

DAMN BLOODY BASTARD!

I went to the Supervisor.

FLIM: “ I want My THOR and GHOST RIDER, AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!!!! “

SUPERVISOR: “ Sir…there’s no more. Come back tomorrow we might have it.”

FLIM: “ THAT Doesn’t CUT THE MUSTARD, MISTER! MIGHT? MIGHT? You mean Im going to be traveling back here thru that horrendous traffic and then I MIGHT GET A THOR AND GHOST RIDER? MIGHT? MIGHT?”

Supervisor scratches his head.

No matter how powerful one is with the VOICE if he faces a complete vegetable with a name tag one still couldn’t make a dent.
Not wanting to waste my life energy on a useless twath like him. I just bought two CAPTAIN America’s and one wolverine and got the hell out of there.

Inside the car I examined the three action figures I got. Was quite happy with WOLVERINE. But CAPTAIN AMERICA.

FLIM: “ Finally we meet. I have hounded you round and round the ANTARES MAELSTROM and thru perdition’s flame and now…NOW I HAVE YOU! ON SECOND THOUGHT you don’t look so tough after all.”

Fifteen minutes on the ride home.

FLIM: “ Darn. Now you’re just one of the toys I have at the house.”

Its true! The Captain America action figure suddenly lost its mythical stature in my eyes.This thing that burnt me thru countless weeks and made me travel on, foot, bus, motorcycle and car all over the metropolis by its sheer absence now becomes quaint
by being present and handy. It’s no longer THE HOLY GRAIL Or the SACRED TANNA LEAVES. It is now just another carded plastic thing to be added on the second shelf to the right.

There are two of them. Not to mention dozens and dozens on the toy shelf.

I stared out the car window and my mind began to drift on two things.

MIGHTY THOR and THE GHOST RIDER.

The MIGHTY THOR was a perennial favorite. I loved the comic books when I was a kid. That was my introduction to the archaic old English language. When I wanted to pissed my teachers off I’d let loose with.

“ Miss. Might I ask thou leave to travel forth from thine room and enter the chambers of URINE and STOOL and relieve myself of my quenched thirsts unholy progeny.”

There was no question that I should have one. I wanted one when I first saw the photos in the Internet.

And THE GHOST RIDER.

YEAH! One of the coolest things a kid could ever want when he’s growing up in the late seventies. A FLAMING SKULL WHO RIDES COOL CHOPPERS!I even imagined myself as JOHNNY BLAZE when I was pedaling like mad with my vintage easy rider.

A MUST HAVE!

I reached Cecile’s office and began making phone calls to the other toyshops that I think might carry them
FLIM: “ Hello? Baboon’s TOY SHOP? Yeah it’s me…YEAH YEAH YEAH…. I know. I will get it next week. Do you have the THOR and GHOST RIDER MARVEL LEGENDS? WHAT? I HAVE TO GET THE ENTIRE LINE? BUT THAT DAREDEVIL FIGURE LOOKS LIKE CRAP? NOT TO MENTION THAT IT HAS THE LIKENESS OF BEN AFFLECK AND NO WAY WILL I BRING BEN AFFLECK HOME AND PUT HIM ON A SHELF. IS THERE NO WAY TO… HELLO? ”

What did I expect from a toyshop named after an ape? So I dialed another toyshop.

It seems that the hottest action figures in the latest batch is MIGHTY THOR and THE GHOST RIDER because they only come in at one in a box while WOLVERINE and the others are two in a box. Hmm a worthy challenge for my superior BULLYING POWERS.

I dialed another toyshop.

FLIM: “ Yes I want the…. Oh it’s a set again? I see. But If I do get it can I exchange the DAREDEVIL figure with a.a…CAPTAIN AMERICA? Yes cause. I don’t like…Oh..Everyone doesn’t like BEN AFFLECK too I guess. Ok.Ok.”

Now it was settled I will get MIGHTY THOR AND THE GHOST RIDER but I have to buy WOLVERINE (again) THING in a COAT (which is pretty cool too) and a CAPTAIN AMERICA (No! Not him again! )

Now I don’t want 3 CAPTAIN AMERICA’S I only want 2. So I made phone call to toy kingdom.

FLIM: “ GIVE ME THE SUPERVISOR please!”

Several minutes of finger tapping silence.

SUPERVISOR: “ Yes can I help you? “

FLIM: “Ok I want to return my CAPTAIN AMERICA? What’s the problem? Well the problem is I wanted to buy THOR and GHOST RIDER in your store but you didn’t sell it to me and…Yes That’s what you told me that it sold out but I know that you hoarded it there somewhere. Probably to sell to your friends or your known costumers my guess is as good as any ,anyway, someone is selling me the Thor and ghost rider and for me to get them I have to get another CAPTAIN AMERICA so there.”

SUPERVISOR: “ I see. Please come back tomorrow at 10 am. And I’ll ee what I can do.”

FLIM: “ Im not coming all the way there AGAIN and not getting anything.”

SUPERVISOR: “ Yes sir I promise that I will get you one.”

FLIM: “ What’s your name?”

He gives me his name.

Arrived home at 8 pm and I placed the three prizes on the shelf and discovered that the 2nd CAPTAIN AMERICA was slightly opened. NO CHOICE THEN I HAVE TO RETURN IT.

I planned the following days itinerary. Will go to the gym at 6 in the morning and then jump into the bus at 8 and head straight to MEGA MALL. Isn’t it great now I have to come back and then use the public transportation system? Because it’s carless day tomorrow and I Cant use the bike because I don’t want to backpack the figures. The blister packs might get crumpled!Today I come home with 3 figures in a car! Tomorrow I might haul more and I dont have a car...GEEEE

. Around ten I viewed the dallies for the FUCKBOY ANIMATION that I'm working on.WASTED THE MOVIE is on hold while the actor gets married.Wonder when he's coming back in one piece.So for the momment FUCKBOY! I was so happy with the way the DARK SHADOWY SELF STAR SHIP Crashes on the THURD PLANET that I began working on the interior’s and the battle scene. And before I realized it. It was already 4 in the morning.

CRIPES! I won’t wake up for the 6A.M. work out. So I jacked up the alarm clock and got some shuteye.

Woke up at 8:00. DAMN IT! The alarm clock didn’t work!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Rushed to the john and then got all suited up. Was checking some email and stumbled on Jason’s messages. I texted him if I can catch a ride to ORTIGAS. He said that he was taking a cab and then we can meet up somewhere. So I stuffed my bag with the gym clothes and took a couple of bananas.

The plan now was to stake out TOY KINGDOM and then after hauling the toys go to the gym workout and then go home but not before eating banana on the bus on the way to the gym. THAT WILL BE MY LUNCH!

Met JASON at the MCDONALDS intersection branch and we were on the way. Inside the cab. Jason asked what I was going to do in MEGA MALL.

FLIM: “ Buy THE MIGHTY THOR and GHOST RIDER ACTION FIGURES. It’s a very hot toy and when it sells out which is guaranteed in a couple of hours then you can sell it for a much higher price.”

JASON: “ Does the ghost rider come with a motorcycle.”?

FLIM: “ No. It comes with A FLAME CYCLE.”

JASON: “ I WANT TO GET SOME! Can I just withdraw money and then meet you in the KINGDOM and then get me those.”

FLIM: “ Sure.”

Along the route, traffic started to build up again.

I then went on my monologue about how traffic is caused by the presence of a lot of people and that we need more wars so that the population would be lessened and then zero traffic and zero cars and that the bloodless revolution in edsa would have been more successful if there were a lot of people killed and there was blood so that our independence would be treasured by the people and then there would be less traffic on the street and we’d still come up on tops!

Both Jason and the traffic driver agreed.

Then we hit mega mall and I hit the ground running. I ran past the check bag counter because the guards already know me. Ran to the other side of the mall. Huffing and puffing I saw visions of what happened yesterday. Fingers clutching at toys while punching and scratching other hands. General melee and total chaos.

What might I see today? I imagined hundreds of collectors waiting at the counter like marathon runners prior to the gunshot. Their faces etched with grim determination. Their hands clutching cutting implements to open the boxes themselves and probably to cut each other up. This is is going to be a battle of the fittest.

The strong shall walk away.

I was already late. Store opens at 9 and it was 9 fifteen. I’m going to end up at the lowest level of the pecking order of a marauding toy maniac swarm that obliterates everything in its way. I’d end up with the leftovers. I searched my bag for any cutting implement or anything to protect myself with.

Nothing sharp except the bananas. Well I can always trade them with something.

Rushed past the guard guarding the entrance of the toy kingdom.

GUARD: “ SIR! YOU MUST CHECK IN YOUR BAG! “

I was running too fast to simply stop.

Flim: “ Oh yes on the way out! “

AS I rounded the corner I was shocked with what I saw.

I was the only one there.Except for two attendants.

ATTENDANT: “ What do you want sir? “

FLIM: “ THOR…( pant!pant!pant) GHOST RIDER! ( pant!pant!pant! )

ATTENDANT: “ Oh we have them sir. We have 130 boxes. And you’re the first to arrive. Yesterday was simply terrible.”

Shakes his head as he remembers the grim tragedy.

FLIM: “ Where are the boxes? IS there any time we have to wait before they open it? “

ATTENDANT: “ Don’t worry sir. You’re the first and you have the choice. The boxes are now here and we’ll open them up I’ll just get the other boxes but feel free to open them.”

He left. And I was alone with the boxes.

I touched one, lightly with my fingers. In it is the prize. This is my moment. Me and fifteen boxes of MARVEL LEGENDS. Each one had a THOR and a GHOST RIDER.

This was the silence before the storm. Soon the hoard will come in and they will be pillaging but just this once, they will eat my LEFTOVERS! ME, THE FLIM!

I opened the box with my bare hands.

And came face to face with THOR.

FLIM: “ AND SO WE MEET THUNDER GOD! SON OF ASGARD, BALDUR’S FRIEND..YE SHALL DWELL IN MY ABODE BEYOND THE RAINBOW BRIDGE. WE SHALL DRINK BOARS MEAD ON STORMY NIGHTS.HEHEHEHE.”

The attendant came in.

ATTENDANT: “ Sir Well bring you a push cart so you can put those in.”

A pushcart for toys. Oh yes. A sign of power! No gripping and clutching shamelessly like the rest of the plebeians but a cart. A ROYAL CART to haul in the forbidden treasures of the temple of JERUSALEM. Yes a cart indeed!

FLIM: “ One cart please.”

I drew forth my hand and from the brown box blackness retrieved another treasure.

FLIM: “ GHOST RIDER! SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE. I became a biker because of you. Now YOU ARE MINE! HEHEHEHEHE!”

Then there was THE THING in an overcoat and with a hat and glasses.

I was prepared to take three.content but then there was still several boxes and….

FLIM: “ TO HELL WITH PRINCIPLES! IM GOING TO GET AS MANY AS I WANT!I

started opening and tearing and opening and tearing… until everything became a blinding symphony of brown masking tape and torn cardboard on the shop floor.

MORE! GIVE ME MORE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Its funny how your self-drawn morale boundaries get moved inch by inch until finally you are on the side, which you totally detest. I am now officially a HOARDER. A STEALER OF TOYS FROM YOUNG CHILDREN WHO CANNOT BUY IT IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE OF FINANCIAL HANDICAPS. I HAVE BECOME WHAT I LOATHED BUT I LOVE IT AND I DON’T LOATHE MYSELF THAT MUCH BECAUSE…HEY IT’S ME.

I filled the cart with two of each. And unlike Noah I was very discriminating. A dent on the bubble here and they were ejected. I then texted Jason and said that the toys were plenty at this stage but as the hours progress more and more collectors would be drawn to the smell of fresh blood.

JASON texd back and send that he was coming with money.

The first of the hyenas arrived. He was a tall man clad in barong Tagalog. Form my estimate he took leave of his dreary job to come and get his choice meat but unlucky for him, I MADE THE KILL and he WILL BE EATING MY LEFT OVERS!

He began circling around me. Trying to size me up. So I flexed my PECTORALIS, MAJOR and he seemed threatened and backed down.

When I retrieved my second Thor he couldn’t help himself and so came in close.

HYENA: “ IS there more of THOR? “

FLIM: “ There are other boxes there go ahead.”

After asking my permission, which is the proper thing to do, he then nodded which is a sign of a salute and then started ripping into the boxes. He lacked the style and the grace of making an elegant kill but what do you expect he came in late so he ‘s not as lethal a predator as yours truly.

Imagine my surprise when a pregnant she wolf came from behind me and began sniffing at my boxes.

FLIM: “ I gave her a look and a shake of the head.

She backed down and then joined her husband.

SO THEY TRAVEL IN PAIRS.

Their style of hunting is fascinating and would watch it with keen interest.

Jason then arrives and gives me the money. He then proceeds to go thru the already opened boxes and then got two of each.

JASON: “ WHAT’S HOTTER ghost rider OR Thor?

FLIM: “ GHOST RIDER by this reckoning.”

JASON: “ Ok I’ll get two of each and three ghost riders! “

He then stuffed his toys in a box and then asked me if its ok if he just gave me the money to pay for it because he was on a rush. Id just leave it at comic quest.

So there I was with a shopping cart and a big box of toy underneath it. I finished my scan after ten boxes. After all I am not greedy and in the final total, after I got thru that europhic sense of being the first one, Realized that I didn’t hoard at all but was just guilty of getting an extra one for each. Except for GHOST RIDER I got three.

Feeling thoroughly satisfied I just hanged around to catch my breath and gather enough energy to haul my loot for the long way to the gym.

Then CHOLS came waltzing in. He looked at my loot and he looked at the box underneath my cart and shook his head. Making “ TSK, TSK,TSK! “ noises.

FLIM: “ This aint mine, its for a friend.”

CHOLS: “ Yes of course.”

He then proceeded to get three of each and once he was finished he dumped everything on the cart.

I looked at him.

FLIM: “ TSK!TSK!TSK! “

CHOLS: “ This isn’t mine its for…a friend.

FLIM: " BUT OF COURSE!

FLIM: “ Lots of DR DOOM around eh.”

CHOLS: “ Yep.”

FLIM: “ You know I actually traded one of my HULKS for a DR.DOOM because I was that desperate. Couldn’t find one in months. So I just traded it with someone else’s DR.DOOM.”

CHOLS: “Those are the breaks.”

FLIM: “ Yeah.Now there’s hundreds with comic books and I got the one with the poster instead.”

Chols eyes widened.

CHOLS: “ YOU GOT THE POSTER VARIANT? “

I nodded.

CHOLS: “ THAT’S THE HARD TO FIND VERSION! THE COMIC BOOK EDITION IS ALL OVER THE WORLD. BUT THE POSTER VARIANT WAS ONLY RELEASED IN ASIA. YOU GOT THE BETTER DEAL.”

FLIM: “ I did.”

CHOLS: “ the guy must be beating his head against the wall. There are still new hulks coming in but the DR DOOM POSTER VARIANt.Sheez that’s around 800 hundred bucks.”

Suddenly I began to feel better. Hmmm I’ m getting the hang of this.

The HYENA comes in and draws CHOLS aside.

HYENA: “ Look at this THOR is bald. They were not able to paint that small inch before the helmet. YUCK! “

FLIM: “ I think that’s manic obsessive behavior.”

Hyena just looked at me and smiled and then continued to examine the toy on closer scrutiny!

By this time I noticed his shopping cart overflowing
I noticed that his shopping cart was overflowing. THIS GUY IS BUYING A LOT.Im impressed.

I told chols that I was going to go shopping for a while and we say our goodbyes. I wandered to some other part of TOY KINGDOM and decided to go shop for a toy for SELINA.After an hour I strayed back to the MARVEL LEGENDS SECTION and was shocked to see this…

Girl with a cell phone in hand.

GIRL: “ Give me fifteen THORS and FIFTEEN GHOST RIDERS and this…and that.”

Four giant boxes were prepped. Several collectors were milling about and watching her.

I hadn’t noticed that HYENA was by my side and pushing his cart filled with dozens of THORS and GHOST RIDERS

HYENA: “ That woman has no shame. She’s hoarding everything.”

I just looked at him.

Then off she went. I don’t really know if she was going to sell it in her store but most probably she was under strict instructions to do so. A BOYFRIEND, A HUSBAND, A LOVER, A SYNDICATE LORD?.

On the way out I saw HYENA bitching to an attendant to open the remaining boxes for MORE THORS.

FLIM: “ But you’re cart is fully packed. How can you buy all of that? “

HYENA: “ Im not buying all of it. Im just going to pick two of each.”

I was amazed at his logic. There were a handful of buyers looking for THOR and they can’t find one and there’s this guy who has dozens in his cart and he’s not even planning to buy them all. WHAT THE FUCK!

I decided to give that prick something to gnaw over.

FLIM: “ Oh by the way you better shake the THOR’S because the shin guards come off easy. Who knows you might get one of the loose ones. Well you can pass it off as a variant.”

I left him shaking a THOR vigorously. It is safe to assume that he will be doing it for the rest of the day,

That night I placed the toys on the shelf and sat on my easy chair. I examined THOR and the Ghost rider closely. At least I was able to get them immediately. They didn’t haunt me for months and they didn’t become DREAM ICONS to pine for during sleepless nights.

The next day I accompanied CECILE to MEGA MALL. I told myself that I would never go back to TOY KINGDOM. I mean two days in a row was too much but….

So there I was. Back at the scene of the disaster. I don’t know if I came back for more THORS or if I just wanted to see how many were still left. I bumped into the attendant who helped me the other day and when our conversation went back to the HYENA, The guy with the pregnant wife. He had a mouthful to say.

ATTENDANT: “ Oh yes that guy. He just hoarded all the toys and didn’t do anything. He was here from the morning till the late evenings. And do you know what? When someone’s looking for a THOR or a GHOST RIDER He would offer one from his cart and ask them for 100 pesos for the right to buy them.”

FLIM: “ On top of the 349 sticker price.?”

ATTENDANT: “ Yes! And when the customers don’t comply He would lower it down to 50 pesos and then down to 20 pesos.”

FLIM: “ Why didn’t management do anything about it?”

ATTENDANT: “ We didn’t catch him.”

FLIM: “ At least the girl who bought all those boxes had the decency to pay for her’s “

ATTENDANT: “ We’ll try to ban him next time.”

I then walked away thinking that I wasn’t so bad after all at least I only got two of each. Then when I looked at the other figures, what do I see? Another THOR poking from behind DR.DOOM.

Ah what the hell.

When I got back home and logged in on one of the local toy sites. HYENA was under heavy attack for what he pulled off yesterday. There was even a story about how he went to a toy convention a few months back and hauled off 5,ooo pesos worth of STAR WARS TOYS and when his little son came up to him and asked him to buy the tyke a happy meal figure, HYENA snaps back with” I DON’T HAVE MONEY ANYMORE.”

GEEZZZZ I DON’T THINK THIS GUY WAS EVER BORN. I BELIEVED HE WAS HATCHED!