MECHANIC: “ Just as I thought. YOUR BATTERY IS DEAD! “
FLIM: “BUT THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE! I BARELY USED THE DAMN THING!"
MECHANIC: AHEAHEAHE…That’s the problem…AHE.AHE…AHE. When you don’t use it the charge in the battery fades out. It shortens the battery life! “
AMAZING! I just paid a small fortune for 15 dvds, nine action figures, a pair of motorcycle booths, four graphic novels and an assortment of other stuff and here I am ,on the receiving end of another huge spend out! If I knew that stupid battery was going to conk out on me, I wouldn’t have bought half the stuff I did.
FLIM: “ Can’t you just recharge it? JUMPSTART THE DEAD WITH A PAIR OF ELECTRODES! BARON VON FRANKENSTEIN DID!
MECHANIC:” I’ll try but if the amperes don’t change…you have to get a new battery.”
It started at around 7 in the A.M.Was about to got o the gym so I can flex my solar plexus. The sun was shining and the cool early morning breeze had a tinge of the coming December ambience.
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY.
I wasn’t surprise when the bike refused to start. Since it was a beautiful day something was bound to go wrong and it had to be the battery.
JEEPNEY DRIVER: “ It’s the battery!
FLIM: “ Figured as much. Would you mind if you guys push.”
JEEPNEY DRIVER: “ Why should I? You don’t even invite me to act in your film? “
FLIM: “ I never thought that you wanted to be part of it.”
JEEPNEY DRIVER: “ Everybody wants to be part of it. Specially when you paid that pedicab driver ..how much? “
FILM: “ GROAN…It’s too early in the morning for this kind of shit!”
JEEPNEY DRIVER: “ I’ll help you push if you promise to put me in the shoot.”
FLIM: “ I PROMISE! NOW PUSH! “
JEEPNEY DRIVER: “ What role?”
FLIM: “ SCUSE ME? “
JEEPNEY DRIVER: “ What should I play?”
FLIM: “ Ahhh…uhm… how about the guy who smokes inside the jeep?”
JEEPNEY DRIVER: “ I don’t smoke.”
FLIM: “ Well you can just act like you’re smoking. That’s why it’s called acting.”
JEEPNEY DRIVER: “ I used to smoke. But I quit three years ago. I cant put a smoke on my lips. I might go back to smoking.”
FLIM: ”Tell you what just push and then we’ll discuss what role you might be interested in.”
Looking back I don’t even know why I even entertained such a conversation with him. Was it because at 7 a.m. he was the only one awake or did I just need some mindless stimuli to preoccupy me while I cope with this latest crisis.
CELL PHONE RINGS!
DB: “ Hey We need to meet later this afternoon. Have to do a draft for the pilot.”
FLIM:” What pilot? “
BD: “ The TV SERIES! “
FLIM: “ Oh yeah. The SOAP BOX THING.”
BD: “ Cute! Didn’t I tell you that when you add up how many soap we’d get WE’LL GET RICH!!! “
FLIM: “ My toes are tingling with anticipation! Im going to the shop. The damn battery’s dead! “
BD: “ Because you don’t use it as much swipe! Didn’t I tell you before? You have to use the bike everyday so it’s on tip-top condition.”
FLIM: “ I don’t need any more lectures. I just need a push so I can jumpstart the damn thing and take it to the shop.”
JEEPNEY DRIVER: “Sorry but I can’t push anymore. Passengers are lining up on my jeep. “
Forty minutes later I arrived at the shop. A yosi boy helped me push the bike. It started as we rounded a corner.
Had to wait for an hour before MANG PEPING was ready to check on the bike. There were a lot of customers in the morning.
MECHANIC: “ Just as I thought. YOUR BATTERY IS DEAD! “
FLIM: “BUT THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE! I BARELY USED THE DAMN THING!
MECHANIC: AHEAHEAHE…That’s the problem…AHE.AHE…AHE. When you don’t use it the charge in the battery fades out. It shortens the battery life! “
So Mang Peping got the charger and tried to bring a dead battery back to life.
MECHANIC: “ See? It doesn’t charge anymore. Hwen its hooked up the engines
Running. But when I take the charger off ….PSSST!
( Does a slicing motion on his windpipe)
FLIM: “ So what do I do? “
MECHANIC; “ BUY a new battery.”
FLIM: “ ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! “
So I saunter over the counter and asked the saleslady.
FLIM: “ How much is a new YUASA BATTERY? “
SALESLADY: “ Let me check. Didn’t you get a new battery about a year ago?”
FLIM: “ About two years ago.”
SALESLADY: “ That’s what happens when you don’t use the motorcycle everyday. The battery gets…”
Was it just me or did people start talking exactly alike. Could be one of the signs that the end of the world is near.
Took an hour for the new battery to get charged and mounted inside my STEALTH FIGHTER. Just then DB arrives.
DB: “ Why don’t we just have the meeting here.”
FLIM: “ I’m not in the mood to have any meetings. I just got robbed.”
DB: “Told you about having the bike in storage. Battery is the first to go.”
FLIM: “Well at least they’re giving me a new battery.”
DB: “ How much are you paying for it? “
FLIM: “ At least 50 percent higher than the last time.”
DB: “ Funny how you end up paying 50 percent higher for a battery that they probably got in storage since two years ago. That’s how they make a killing! Did you know that its The mother who bought the battery stocks. The mother of ETHAN the owner of the shop.What does she know about battery’s right ? “
FLIM: “ Thanks for telling me these things NOW! When I cant do a thing about it!!!!! “
DB: “Just watch the performance of that YUASA.”
FLIM: “There’s a moral lesson here somewhere BUT IM TOO TIRED TO FIND OUT! “
