Haven’t been able to write anything new for the past weeks. I have been too busy

Yesterday I took the time to take CESS out to watch MASTER AND THE COMMANDER. She’s been very worried about SELINA that she doesn’t sleep regularly.

I’m also worried and working up until 400 in the morning leaves me little time to sleep.So I persuaded her to take a breather.

After the movie We had lunch in this new Japanese restaurant in ROBINSONS.

Then it was back to work. I’ll have the production photos up and running by next week and I’ll post them here.

My TWO TOWERS extended edition arrived last week. Pity that I can’t watch it too many things to do.


Cess’s friend, Therese told us over dinner , celebrating her house warming ,inside her fabulous new glass house, That she does not read newspapers anymore.

“ Im sick of reading bad news everytime I open the papers in the morning.”

She mumbled as she served up some very delicious black pasta.

I agree with her. But I have no choice. I have this irresistible urge to find out what happens next.

In the gym this morning, An old nice lady who was walking the threadmill alongside mine voiced the same opinion.

OLDLADY: “ So FPJ is running for president. He will win.”

FLIM: “ Of course he will. There are more idiots here in this country than thinking ones! “

OLDLADY: ” It’s a very sad day.”

FLIM: “ Blame it on the poor.BUT ALSO BLAME THE RICH! But then again the POOR MIND SET is “ We are poor and if we can’t better our lot then we might a well bring the entire country down with us!”The rich sector has the responsibility of giving back something to the country thru scholarship funds or anything to educate the ignorant masses. But what do they do? They just cart off their money somewhere else!

OLDLADY: “ The rich mind set is “ We don’t care what happens just as long as it doesn’t touch our investments! “

FLIM: “ That’s what the aristrocrats thought in FRANCE during MARIE ANTIONETTE’s time.

PRE-PROD PART-1

Production assistant: “ Ok what do you need?

FLIM: I need a location that has dense foliage and dark green vegetations. I don’t like plants that looked like it hasn’t been watered for days. I want it to look really wet.

Production assistant: TANAY RIZAL?

FLIM:” Are you kidding me? Every local film production always go to TANAY Rizal for their Jungle location! NO! We have to find some place that isn’t all TALAHIB fields everywhere. I WANT A JUNGLE LOCATION.

Production assistant: “ How about PALAWAN? “

FLIM: ”Hmmmm. But how much would it cost to transport the actors and the equipment? Bedside’s that’s too far off from our main supply line.”

Production assistant: “ How about the sunken gardens in U.P?”

FLIM: “ Fair enough.”

Production assistant: “ How about the lighting system. Do you have any preferences? “

FLIM: ”Here’s the list of lighting packages. Let’s put it it at the lowest priority list. I’m more inclined to use the natural elements as my cinematographer.

Production assistant: “ What kind of camera are we using…”

FLIM:” Here ….

Production assistant: “ Ohhh…yes we don’t need much light for that.”

FLIM: “ Lets just get a lot of reflectors.”

Production assistant:” Ok here’s the quote for the catering services. The name on the second list is my wife’s aunt she’s very good with apretada.”

FLIM: ”Hmmmmmmm….(swishing of pages being turned.) Let’s do without the catering. We’ll just pack a lot of sardines and spams and plenty of rice and soft drinks!

Production assistant: “ But what about nutritious food? We’ll be shooting…”

FLIM:” We’re shooting a low budget number here, and not running a health program.Sardines and canned goods are the staple food of every Filipino film production. Who are we to break that kind of tradition?

Production assistant:” Well have you seen the movies that come out using that kind of meal? “

FLIM: ” Last time I checked the outcome of the film depends on the director, scriptwriter, cinematographer, editor and actors. Not on what’s simmering on the plate.

Production assistant: ”But the people working on the film, they need sustenance.
They need good food to regain their energy to work?”

FLIM: ” ALL SPECULATION!

Production assistant: “ Would you have at least some brain food around. Like peanuts? “

FLIM: “ Are you trying to insinuate that sardines are not good meal substitutes?
Are you to trying to shoot down our entire sardine cottage industry?

Production assistant: ” I eat sardines but they just don’t fill me.”

FLIM: ”And what does? “

Production assistant: “ KALDERATA and stewed beef. Those are good shooting foods.”

FLIM: ” I subsisted on sardines and bread for months when I was on a diet and I had plenty of excess energy! Besides they’re cheap and very accessible everywhere we go. Even if we get stuck in some sleazy out of the way province. You can hike up to the nearest sari-sari-store and buy sardines.”

Production assistant: “ Why are you cost-cutting so much. Where would the bulk of the money go? “

FLIM: ” Listen, the whole point of the sardines and canned goods thing is that we are a Spartan unit! We shall travel light and fast, SET UP FAST, SHOOT FAST! This is not an industry level project. This is a guerilla enterprise. EATING is going to be a NECESSITY not a luxury!
No over eating in between takes. OVER EATING mean’s SIESTA times and sluggish body movements! WE ARE GOING TO BE LEAN AND HUNGRY!

We are a covert team. If we get shot down behind enemy lines then the government would disavow our existence, deny our citizenship And leave us for the dogs.

Production assistant: “ But eating good food is important.”

FLIM: “ When you’re producing your own film and using your own money then that’s when you get KALDERATA and BEEF STEW. But THIS IS MY MONEY AND MY PROJECT, SO THE WORD IS SARDINES!”

Production assistant: “ Where would the majority of the budget go?”

FLIM: “ Good point. Here let me open the door and show you …. wait a sec…. There! “

Production assistant: “ OH MY… I…WOW! OHHH…How many carpenters did you employ to make this? Can I touch it ? IS it still wet? ”

FLIM: “Not there, it hasn’t set yet. The point is when all is said and done, you wont have SARDINES and canned foods on the screen. And neither your KALDERATA nor BEEF STEW would get top billing OR GET ANY screen time. Every centavo we have would have to be seen up there! Either as a great looking set or an incredible miniature cityscape, or an amazing set piece.IT HAS TO BE SEEN UP THERE!

Production assistant: ” Ok I understand it now. So what brand of sardines are we getting? PLease tell me where’ getting portugese sardines…please! please!

HALLOWED EVE

So here I am at the eve of Halloween, doing what? WHAT ELSE but creating MONSTERS! APT ISN’T IT? Like a mad scientist I have not seen the light of day for…uhm days. Locked inside my laboratory I sew pieces of different limbs and body parts to create something new. But alas. Nothing is ever new. All of them have been done before. VIRGIL and the Greek poets, VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN, DR. MOREAU,LOVE CRAFT, THE ATOM BOMB. They have done it, years ago. So how does one top that? One doesn’t.

One might emulate or do a variation but …

I don’t know. My mind reels from such thoughts.

Sometimes I purchase a limb that is impossible to come by. Only to discover that it doesn’t fit. Then I ‘m faced with quandary of tossing the limb into the junk pile or totally abandoning the present structure and start a new with the aforementioned limb.

Choices…choices…choices…

NEVER ENDS

Then there is the wife of course.

She vexes me about the Promethean amount of electricity that I use up. BUT OF COURSE! How can you bring a MONSTER to life without that most precious substance that most vital of elements? ELECTRICITY!

IT’S A Time honored device, ALMOST TRADITION in every HORROR GENRE.

She also complains about the laboratory smelling like garlic. What can I say? I love that spice. It also keeps the competition out.

So here I’m writing my journals. Resting my tired eyes. Contemplating the missing factor that will bring my creation to life. Asking the universe how can I create the most HORRIBLE MONSTER OF ALL.Then the door opens and she screams!

Equipped with a pair of wings wrenched from some poor pixie she faces me and opens her terrible mouth. It is then that the horrific realization dawned on me. I HAVE ALREADY CREATED THE MOST HORRIBLE MONSTER OF ALL TIME,

GAZE UPON HER VISAGE AND DESPAIR, ALL YE MIGHTY AND POWERFUL!!!!

1ST TENTACLE

STEADICAM ASSEMBLED! Joe and me put together the contraption in less than an hour.Distribution of weights were designed on heavy the camera is. Meaning, you have to change the poundage when you change lenses. The giant telephoto extensions for the bolex add five pounds, while the wide-angle attachment somewhere between two to four.

The battery that I use which can take up to nine hours straight shooting, is another giant waiting to be carried.

We did test shots of extensive tracking and dolly movements. Configuring and re-configuring the weight.

JOE: Normally it would take months for somebody to get the hang of it. But you did it in a few hours. Honestly Im not surprised since you were able to do long tracking shots that looked like steadicam shots so I guess you know the basics inherently.

So the question that pops into mind is why did I get a steadicam when I can already do steady shots right? I don’t know but the equipment looks very cool! (Of course I know. I can make my steady shots look a lot steadier! )

2ND TENTACLE

Massive re-editing on the COMFORT WOMEN documentary’s been finished. We have an official title, EXORCISING DEMONS. First cut was 3 hours long. Parred it down to 2 and 30.

3RD TENTACLE

I’m into the 2nd act of the script that JOE commissioned me to do. Having a great time doing it. It’s a blast to write something, knowing that you wont direct it. In the past whenever I write a scene I stop dead in my tracks and then take out the calculator, “ HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO THAT? HOW MUCH IS THAT GOING TO COST? “ Then you start dialing and making inquiries about so-so location, so-so equipment and such. By the end of the day I go back to the view screen and delete the scene, COSTS TOO MUCH!

Joe has given me CARTE BLANCHE on the entire story. Insisting that I should insert my trademark, black humor.

I said that I’d try. I believe that the humor should be found in the premise and not inserted for humor’s sake. If I don’t find it in the material then it’s not there! But the story is primed with so many possibilities that it takes me time to explore every avenue possible!

4TH TENTACLE

Just finished the re-mastering of a music video I did years ago. I did this MTV for 50 thousand pesos. Really dirt-cheap. That measly sum covered everything and quite frankly I wasn’t that happy with the finished cut. So now after 5 years I went back and did my special director’s cut , TINGGA EDITION.

Using the state of the arts digital equipment at my disposal I was able to shape it into what I always wanted it to look like. Now I know how GEORGE LUCAS must have felt like.

But there’s no massive re-structuring done, like HAN SOLO shooting first. Besides it’s just a damn music video! What can you do?

I don’t know if I should even submit it for airing. Probably just put it in my demo-reel.

5TH TENTACLE

I’m being commissioned to do a documentary about the URBAN POOR. I don’t know how much the budget will be but this would be a civic duty kinda thing. Armed with the latest technological equipment, I will land on their homes when they least expect it and shoot every inch of their abode. My camera will glide and swoop from the rafters and into the very soul of the least forgotten half hammered nail on their flooring. I will show the humanity in those impoverished structures, ‘ THE HUMANITY! THE UTTER HUMANITY OF IT ALL! “

First it was the COMFORT WOMEN, now the URBAN POOR. Am I becoming a social realist?


7TH TENTACLE

Also spending a lot of quality time with SELINA. Since I’m in the CAVE most of the time I put her to sleep on the couch with the SIMPSON’S 3RD SEASON DVDS playing.THE SOUTH PARK DVD was conveniently lent by CESS to her dad. I wouldn’t be shocked if there was a secret command not to have it returned. Anyway I’ll just go and get a new one and watch it when the kid’s not around.

8TH TENTACLE


CESS: “ Now why are you doing that? Shouldn’t you be shooting or something? “

FLIM: “ I need a g>VACATION. And this is what im going to learn during my free time. Other people study languages and cooking but I’m going to study this!

CESS: “ And how much did it cost you to get that equipment and those things what ever you call them? (Pointing at the new machine and the various cables that come out of it)

FLIM: “ You wouldn’t want to know.”

CESS: “ Have you checked your students grades yet? “

FLIM: “ Yep. I’m going to do the tally of their final grade after I animate the hind tentacle of the KRAKEN

I have been sitting on the strong>WORKSTATION for about a week now as I study the basic rudiments of COMPUTER GRAPHICS ANIMATION. It is true that it does take some time from me, from doing the commissioned script and the shooting of my two projects. But since the sem- break already started I figured this is the best time to do it. Im not going to hike off to some distant cordilleira mountain to discover the inner me, or go to the beach and get a tan! I can get that while waiting for a cab.

Joe told me that I could easily just pass it off to the computer graphics division. That’s true but I want to do it on my own. Delegating spfx elements to a third party is a common practice in the professional world. You shoot the main plate and then pass it off to the SPFX team and then you sit down with them and express thru words or drawings what you want them to do.

They then build something and after a few days you are called to check on it and you either like it or hate it or it brings you to another tangent

While doing it on your own, aside from saving you tons of time communicating and shuttling back and forth to the studio, gives you complete creative control. You are no longer under the whim of the technoids.TECHNOID: “ Sorry Direk, we can’t do that shot it’s too complicated.”

TECHNOID 2: “ Ohhh that’s going to take a lot of rendering time.”

TECHNOID 3: “We can do that but we need to boost our production budget.”

By investing on the software and the hardware’s I can save a lot of money in the long run. Now I have a computer graphics division in my studio and I don’t have to deal with those TECHNOIDS ever! Of course I have to go thru tons of books that weigh heavier than those damn yellow pages and I have to cram and click my way thru PERDITIONS FLAME before I can come up with something passable.

But I would go thru PERDITIONS FLAME before I give up! In fact when I look at the mirror I ‘m beginning to resemble…

OHHH GOSH! I AM A TECHNOID! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FLIM: “ Anyway…her school teacher asked Selina if she was enjoying herself. And Selina looks at her with her big eyes and said, ‘ S..U..C..K…M..Y..A..S..S.”

I was in the canteen with my fellow teacher, TATS , DOCTORA TACAR and our funny chairperson MRS B.

TATS: “Well you should have heard what my niece told my mother when she was scolded by my Mom, She said, “ASSHOLE!”

FLIM: “ NO SHIT! “

TATS: ” Yes.. and she’s only three.”

DOCTOR TACAR: “The daughter of my niece, I told her to stop playing in the rain and she said, ‘ FUCK A DUCK! “

FLIM: ”Frightening!

MRS. B: “ I have a horror story to tell. I was in the States because I was helping my sister, baby-sit her four-year-old child. Well one day MY NIECE did something bad. I don’t recall what but I pinched her and told her to stop it. You know what she said? She said, “ OUCHHHHH!!!I’M GOING TO CALL THE POLICE! “And she went to the phone and started to dial.

I took the phone away from her and placed it back on the cradle and said, “If you CALL the police I’ll kill YOU!! “

She cried and said, “ Noooooooooo!!!You’ll kill me?????? Noooooooo!!! I’m really going to call the police! ! “

And she tried to grab the phone from me. I told her, “ If you call the police, I’LL KILL THEM TOO! “

She cried, “ NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! You’ll kill me? Nooooooooooooo!!!!
I’m going to tell my mother! “

I told her to keep quiet! And if she tells’s her mother…I’LL KILL HER TOO! She cries again, “ NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! You can’t kill my mother! NOOOOO!!!!!! I’ll just tell my father! “

Then my sister comes in. She asked what that crying was all about. I told her the entire story and she started to laugh. She then told her daughter that she would be the one to tell the father about my pinching. But you know kids right? When you tell them not to do something that’s when they really DO IT!

So I tell my niece, “ YOU TELL YOUR FATHER AND I’LL KILL HIM TOO! “

My niece then started crying again and said, “ MOTHER DID YOU HEAR THAT? SHE’S GOING TO KILL FATHER TOO…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

My sister told her that I was only joking.

So the matter was closed and I went up to my room and prepared to take a bath when my niece enters the room and sits on my bed. She looked at my suspiciously and said,

“ Auntie I was doing a lot of thinking and I don’t believe that you can kill..THE POLICE, MY FATHER and MY MOTHER and me! That’s a lot of people to kill. You’ll get tired very soon. And if you do kill the police, my mother and my father … can’t you just spare me? “

TATS: “ How old is she? “

MRS. B:” Only five.”

FLIM: “ It’s frightening!

MRS. B:” Yes they mature really fast.”

FLIM:” That’s not what I meant. It’s frightening to think that you’re the chairman of the department!

It’s been almost a week and the steadicam hasn’t been assembled yet or taken out from the box. Too busy writing the 2nd act of the script. And then editing and polishing the scripts of my students for the planned graphic novel. And trying to contact some printers. Thanks to Carl for referring decent printers.

Gosh I must be really getting old. I remember when I get a new toy, I just can’t sleep till I opened them and played scrutinized and read and re-read the instruction manual and finally succumbing to a deep slumber with my arms draped around my new lover.

It happened with my super 8, 16 mm and DIGITAL cameras! It happened with my DVD player, my cyber street fighter motorcycle, and my toy collection.

I read the forewards of my graphic novels before the whole thing, a form of literary foreplay. Building up an appetite for the long haul as they say.

But now…I’m just too plain busy to even open them from the box.

It happened with my MANFROTTO TRIPODS, now it’s happening with the STEADICAM. The fact that they are somewhere inside the room is enough with me.

I just have too many on my plate right now.

Aside from the writings, I still have four classes to teach. All women. Quite a handful at times. One lone MALE lost in a sea of femininity.

Then there’s the remastering of the music video and this new project.

I don’t even have time to watch the TAKEN boxed set nor the SIMPSON’S 3RD SEASON SET.

But I do have time to slip in some new dvds for selina.

I tested the BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD COMPILATION DISCand true to form, Selina loved it. Now I'm realy concerned. It seems that she got more of my sensibilties than Cess.

Cess has the WALT DISNEY, SOUND OF MUSIC,FRIENDS( TERRIBLY YUCKY TV SERIES)general patronage taste. My sensibility? It's not the type that can sit quietly while FRIENDS is playing.

One time I played ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW and Selina danced THE TIME WARPI didnt find it strange at first. Children love musicals.But when she fast forwarded and chewed the SOUND OF MUSIC DVD that's when I became suspicious!

The only Disney movie that she can still enjoy is THE LITTLE MERMAID.But then again her favorite song is

Les poissons, les poissons
How I love les poissons
Love to chop and to serve little fish
First I cut off their heads
Then I pull out their bones
Ah mes oui, savez toujours delice

At least I haven't heard any swearing stories this week.

GLIDING THE SKY

YEEHAWWWWWWW!!!!! A new weapon to add to my arsenal!
I got this tuesday evening. This very expensive package costs a hefty sum and now it’s within my hands! It’s partial payment for a film script I’m writing for my old friend and fellow filmmaker, GI JOE

I have never written a film script for anyone. I basically write for myself. But Joe and I have been helping each other out thru the years. He did most of the intricate sound designs in my works back then when the term digital was just applied to musical scoring and MIDI was in the “ IN “ term.

I on the other hand acted in his films. Usually playing a villain.( Figures doesn’t it? )
Most of the time I enjoyed it but there was a time I was hanging 70 feet above a cavern lake. With no safety rope, I was clinging with my bare hands and had to climb thru a jagged wall while carrying a backpack filled with rocks. After huffing and puffing my way on top.

JOE: “ Ok let’s do another take! “

Oh yeah easy for him to say. I have to do the climbing down and then hanging by my bare hands routine. So I go down and I clench my teeth and hold on to dear life.

FLIM: “ READY WHEN YOU ARE! “

JOE: “ Wait I have to meter the light.

And Stands up over the edge and takes his sweet time taking light meter readings
while I hanged on to dear life.

FLIM: “ Well? “

JOE: “ Wait….5.6…uhm foot candles…hmmm lets…

I tried to find a notch in the rock to cleave my booths on. But the damn wall is just too slippery.

FLIM: ”BETTER HURRY…I’…”

JOE:” OK ! ACTION! “

I climbed again and this time my face had this determined look, Of course I had a determined look. I was determined not to fall into the lake below with its dark waters filled with BAT GUANO…Or at least that’s what I hoped it was.

JOE:” Ok..lets do another take.”

I just stood there and looked at him.

JOE: “ This time I want you to have this determined look.

FLIM: “ I already have a determined look.”

JOE: “ Well let’s have a more determined look.”

We were both directors but it was his film and that means he is the captain and all I could do is to obey. I just hoped that they can recover and identify what’s left of me when I do slip.

After the ninth take, he must have seen my most determined look because he said that it was perfect!

Another notable moment was when we were shooting my fight scene. He said that it was my big moment.

JOE: “ Ok we are going put squibs all over you and then when I
say action….”

FLIM: “ WAIT!WAIT!WAIT! SQUIBS? You mean as in
pyrothecnics Is this going to hurt? “

JOE: “ I don’t know . I haven’t tried it myself.”

FLIM: “ Are you going to give me a signal when they will detonate? “

JOE: “ I don’t think I should. I want you get surprised when you get hit so…when they do explode …you’d be surprised.”

FLIM: “ That’s very STANISSLAVSKY! BUT ISNT THOSE
THINGS DANGEROUS?

I read that certain squibs exploded inward instead of outward and that they can burn you with the flashes.never thought that I was going to be at the recieving end of a squib.But hey, this is Joe. The guy who patiently layered 12 overlapping tracks for my short film opus. The sound was so good that in the CYBERPUNK film showing in Japan, the audience thought that it was a 35 mm film despite the fact that it was only in super 8.

FLIM: “ What the hell , let’s do it! “

He yelled action, gun squibs exploded all over the place and before I knew it , I collapsed with a heap of blood on me.

JOE: “ That was great! “

I’ll tell more stories about our collaborations next time. But for the moment let me rave about the steadicam system that I now have.

Initially I wasn’t so keen on getting one. I really favour the hand held, catch the moment, fly by the handle type of shooting style that is the hall mark of the documentary and cinema verite style. Im not referring to the supposed “ crazy shots” that cameramen in local noon time shows and the Philippine mtv chapter are so fond of doing. Their version of the hand held shot is way too blatant and obvious. Does not carry the marks of a true hand held shot.

So there was Joe trying to convince me to get the Steadicam gizmo.

JOE: ” You have to get one. Specially you ,( he was referring to my penchant for intricate camera moves and complicated shots! ) I can now imagine what shots you would be doing .

The irony of it all was , I spent huge amounts of time doing fluid and steady shots that seemed like it was shot using a steadicam during my early films. But in the latter ones I wanted a more unrestrained look. A more spontaneous look.

Getting a steadicam was the furthest thing from my mind.

Then one day we were on the phone discussing our individual projects. He told me about a movie script that he was developing for filming.

He then offered me to write the screenplay.

Imbue the story with my black humour.

Be glad to help, I said.

In two days I had the first act. He loved it!

I wasn’t expecting anything. So I was pleasantly surprised when he informed me that he ordered the Steadicam as a down payment for my fee as a writer.

GETTING a Steadicam is the furthest thing from my mind.

NOW I HAVE IT! I WONDER WHAT SHOTS I WOULD DO? AND I'M GIDDY AS A SCHOOL BOY.CINEMA VERITE BE DAMNED!( for the time being
at least)

THE BLACK SWEARING JEDI

MADDONA AND CHILD VS. FLIM

Enchancing and beefing up an MTV I did a few years back,Selina opens the door and sits beside me.

She then grabs the DVD that Cess told me to throw away.

SELINA: “ PHLAY..SAWT PAKKHHH! “

I ignore her.

SELINA: ‘ PHLAY SAWT PAKKKHHHH! “

FLIM: “ NO! Your Mother said , NO MORE SAWT PAKKHHH!SO NO MORE SAWT PAKHHHHH! “

SELINA: “ PHLAY SAWT PAKKKKHHH! “

FLIM: “ Tell you what. Im going to get……

I scan the DVD HOLDING PENS.

FLIM: “ How about PIGLET’S BIG MOVIE? “

SELINA: “ PHLAY SAWT PAKKKHHH! “

She begins to get irritated.

SELINA: “ PHLAY SAWT PAKKKHHH! “

FLIM: “Im not going to play SAWT PAKKKHHH anymore! You’re turning into a little swearing machine! I didn’t start swearing until I was seven.You’re barely three years and you cuss like an OLD WOMAN! NO! NO! NO! “

SELINA: “ WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! “

FLIM: “ You’re not going to manipulate me as easy as that! Cry all you want . IM not going to play it. Just listen to south pacific. That’s the closes south you’re going to get! “

SELINA: “ WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

I continue ignoring her as I create a minature set of HELL.

Five minutes later Selina conjures up a more horrific Hell than I could ever make

SELINA: “ WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

FLIM: ‘ WHAT DO YOU WANT? “ ( The dumbest question I have ever asked all week.)

SELINA: “ PHLAY SAWT PAKKKHHH! “

FLIM: ” ALLRIGHT! ALL RIGHT! SAWT PAWK IT IS! BUT NO MORE DADDEE.DADDEE PLAY SAWT PAK! MOMME SOUTH PAWKS DADDE’S HEAD! “

I placed the disc inside and within a span of a few seconds all hell broke loose.

TV: “ FUCKER! FUCKER! SHUT YOUR FACE UNCLE FUCKER!”

Cess storms into the room and launches a left hook that connects on the right side of my head. The blow unbalances me but I was able to do a nerve pinch on her strenum, which imobolizes her for half a sec. Enough for me to back down , to elude any more blows from my vicous attacker.

Selina is oblivious to the melle as she claps her hand with joy.

SELINA: “ LOOKKK MOMMMEEEEE ITS... FUCKER! “

MADDONA AND CHILD MOMMENT 2

CESS: “ SEE? SEE? I TOLD YOU NOT TO LET HER WATCH THAT CARTOON? NOW LOOK AT HER! SHE’S ALREADY SWEARING! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!

FLIM: “ What can I do? I slip in SOUTH PACIFIC, she ejects it! I put in SOUND OF MUSIC, she EJECTS IT! SNOW WHITE,EJECT! EJECT!She loves putting in SOUTH PARK!”

CESS: “ How is she going to get in a decent school when she cusses like that. She’s going to be branded a problem child wherever she goes.”

FLIM: “ NAHH…the way I see it, she only has a head start over those other kids! “

MADDONA AND CHILD MOMMENT

Selina came into the bedroom last Saturday morning.

CESS: “ Hi cutie. Say hello to Mommy.”

Selina smiles and embraces Cess.But she doesnt say anything.

CESS: " Come on...say,hello Mommy."

SELINA: “ S…U…C…K!!!!!!”

CESS:“NOEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!