KARO SYRUP and CATSUPS NO MORES
Alanguilan left the gray shirt for me to gore it up for the following day’s early morning shoot. Spent half the night looking for the MAGIC paper that would be the basic ingredient for the bloodstains. Unfortunately the magic paper was nowhere to be found. I remember placing it in my prop cabinet. And when I opened it …the cabinet was very tidy and as usual all the important things are nowhere to be found. That is one o the major reasons I don’t like the maids cleaning up. Oh yes they sweep off the dust and they put everything in its proper place but then their concept of a proper place isn’t the same as mine’s. Asked the maids where thy placed the magic paper.
DELILAH: “ I don’t remember SER! I cleaned it’s a weeks ago.”
FLIM: “ BROWN ENVELOPE…on this shelf.”
DELILAH: “ NEVER SAW…SER! “
I looked at the shelves and it was filled with cleaning fluids and kitchen instruments.
FLIM: “ Delilah…please don’t touch this cabinet. This is where we put our props for filming. Now I can’t find the magic paper and we need it for tomorrow’s shoot.”
DELILAH: “ I thought ye were lookings for the brown envelope. It doesn’t look like magic paper ser!”
FLIM: “ The magic paper is inside the brown envelope.”
DELILAH: “ How does the magic paper look like? “
I described the color and the texture of the paper. Suddenly her eyes grew wide.
DELILAH: “ We made paper boats with it Ser! Long times ago! “
FLIM: “ How can it be LONG TIMES AGO! I JUST BOUGHT THAT PAPER A WEEK AGO! “
DELILAH: “ A week ago is a long times ago! “
I KNEW IT! NOTHING COULD BE SIMPLE WITH THIS FILM!!!!! ARRGGGH!
FLIM: ”NEXT TIME DELILAH DON’T TOUCH THE CONTENTS OF THE PROP CABINET! “
DELILAH: “ You told us to cleanese it.”
FLIM: “ When was that? “
DELILAH: “ A longs times ago!”
FLIM: “ I told you to do that even before I turned this cabinet into a prop room. IN FACT I ASKED YOU TO CLEAN IT SO THAT I CAN TURN IT INTO A PROP ROOM! And that was months ago! WHEN DID YOU CLEAN IT? “
DELILAH: “ Noong SUNDAY.”
FLIM: “ You cleaned it last Sunday? I told you to CLEAN IT A LONGS TIMES AGO!”
That’s it! NO BROWN ENVELOPE! NO MAGIC PAPER! NO BLOOD!
Made a mental note to by a padlock so I can control the traffic of the Prop cabinet.
Well that’s it for the MAGIC PAPER. Probably its floating somewhere in the Pasig river.
Left a little surprise for Alanguilan on the dinner table and started catching ZZZs. It’s going to be an early day tomorrow.
Was leafing thru my storyboards when ALANGUILAN climbed the stairs.
ALANGUILAN: “ WHAT DOES THE SPREAD T-SHIRT ON THE DINNER TABLE MEAN? “
FLIM: “ ASIDE FROM THE CATSUP BOTTLE STANDING NEXT TO IT?”
ALANGUILAN: “ Where’s the MAGIC PAPER? “
FLIM: “ Its gone….”
ALANGUILAN: “ What happened? “
FLIM: “ It’s a longs storys! And it’s happened a longs times ago! SO START DRIBBLING! “
Used the " VOICE” so ALANGULAN automatically obeyed my command. He started pouring the catsup on the t-shirt and tried to make it look like a random splash of human blood. Supposedly it was the blood of his gay tormentors, the one’s he slaughtered a month ago.
During the pre-production phase of WASTED THE MOVIE. I already told ALAGUILAN that I wasn’t interested in making a slasher film. And as much as I hate to use the word, which has been maligned, by a lot of filmmakers since time immemorial, I really wanted this film to be “ CHARACTER DRIVEN! “
YUCKKKK! NOW I HAVE SAID IT! “ CHARACTER DRIVEN” I always cringe when I see directors being interviewed about their films and claiming it as being “ CHARACTER DRIVEN ” when I just saw it and it’s anything but “ CHARACTER DRIVEN! “
Well I just wrote it on this blog. Can always erase it anytime, Hehehehehehehe
Hmm now where was I? Oh yes.. So I told Alanguilan in order to make WASTED a “ CHARACTER DRIVEN “ movie I have to focus more on the internal and external character conflicts rather than the killings and the slaughter fest!
ALANGUILAN: “ BUT…BUT…BUT ITS NOT GOING TO BE WASTED WITHOUT BLOOD AND DEAD BODIES IN MAJOR NUMBERS.”
FLIM: “ Was thinking of doing a FRED ASTAIRE GINGER ROGERS MUSICAL NUMBER instead of shooting massacre scenes. Whadya think?”
ALANGUILAN: “ I have always been partial to musicals you know.”
So with that concept in mind we shot the killing scenes with a little restraint. There’s still blood…there’s a little gore and some brain tissues coagulating on phone booth stands but not excessively.
FLIM: “ DON’T PUT TOO MUCH BLOOD ON THE SHIRT! ITS JUST A SPRAY STAIN! NOT A BUTCHER’S APRON! “
ALANGUILAN: “ Just wanted to make sure that there’s a little bit more blood. You don’t want the audience to think that he got it when he shaved that morning do you? “
FLIM: “ Yeah well…just don’t add anymore.”
I left him to do the blood work as I assembled the camera and the lenses.
ALANGUILAN: “ SHIT!!!! I’M GOING TO SMELL LIKE CATSUP FOR THE REST OF THE DAY! “
FLIM: “ Maybe you can be a walking DEL MONTE ICON.”
ALANGUILAN: “ You can crack jokes about it but I’m going to be the one to wear this and smell like catsup! ALL DAY LONG! “
FLIM: “Look, Im going to be busting my chops making you look GOOD! And that’s not an easy job!!!”
ALANGUILAN: “ JACKASS!!!! “
FLIM: “LEMUR!”
We walked five blocks to the location. Everyone we met along the way held their noses with their fingers.
ALANGUILAN: “ I hate you! “
FLIM: “ You’re a star. Everyone feels your magnetic presence! You foul the very air that mere mortals breathe! YOU ARE AN EPIPHANY! “
ALANGUILAN: “ GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! “
We reached the location and I positioned myself, the camera and the tripod fifty feet away.
FLIM: “ Ok, I want you to hide in that corner and when I yell action. I want you to come walking with your trademark JOSEPH ESTRADA SWAGGER and looking zoned out while hiding your gun in the back.”
ALANGUILAN looks at the distance that he is about to cover.
ALANGUILAN: “ How am I gonna hear you yell action when it sso far away? “
FLIM: “ “I’LL CUP MY HANDS OVER MY MOUTH AND SIMULATE A MEGAPHONE, YOU HAPPY? NOW DO IT! “
He goes off mumbling and grumbling something about catsups and tomatoes.
For some strange reason the tripod resisted every attempt I made to make it perfectly horizontal. The third leg would swivel back into the sloth and when I fixed that, the other leg would do the same.
FLIM: “ YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED MY LITTLE METALLIC FRIEND. IF I HAD A TRIPOD TO SPARE I’D WHAM YOU ON THE HEAD! YOU SHITHEAD!”
We did 60 takes of ALANGUILAN rounding the corner. Every take had something good in it. But the first twenty takes were too conventional. The magic started happening between take forty-one till take 60.
FLIM: “ GOOD! THAT’S GOOD! LETS DO ANOTHER! “
TAKE: 52
FLIM: “ GOOD! THAT’S GOOD! LETS DO ANOTHER! “
TAKE: 57
FLIM: "THAS GOOD! LETS DO ANOTHER!
ALANGUILAN walks towards me with exhaustation written all over his face!
ALANGUILAN: “ IF ITS GOOD. WHY ARE WE DOING MORE TAKES OF THE SAME THING?”
FLIM: “ I said that IT’S GOOD. I DIDN’T SAY THAT IT WAS GREAT!!!! UNTIL I SAY GREAT! WE’RE GOING TO DO MORE TAKES!!!!!”
ALANGUILAN: “ Well stop saying “ GOOD.” It makes me feel bad when we still have to do more.”
FLIM: “ Would you rather me say, “ THAT’S BAD, LETS DO ANOTHER? Won’t you get more discouraged with that every time we repeat the shot? I was giving you an emotional boost! YOU’RE DOIN GOOD LETS TRY ANOTHER!! Doesn’t that give you an extra PEP?”
ALANGUILAN: “ I guess…...................... I smell like catsup.”
FLIM: “ I smell like sweat all over but you don’t hear me complaining. NOW LETS DO ANOTHER TAKE!!! ”
We nailed it at TAKE 60. On the way back to the command station, the pedicab driver who played our snatcher, months ago passed by with his pedicab and offered us a lift. We were more than happy to take him up with the invitation. Did a quick interview of him while he was pedaling. When we reached H.Q. We gave him 20 bucks. But he refused saying that it was on him. Probably thought that we wanted to bang him up so more. But Alanguilan insisted and he caved in.
We were both too exhausted to talk so we ate our lunch in silence.
DELILAH walks in
DELILAH: "Sers,we need moneis for some catsups for the fird chickens.Thers catsups no mores."
I look at Alanguilan and tell him that he’s lucky he doesn’t have to eat dinner with us that night.
