THE FELLOWSHIP OF ACTION FIGURES
THERE IS NO LIFE IN THE VOID!
FLIM: “ HOW much for that SAURON action figure?”
SALESLADY: “ 1,150! “
FLIM: “ How much for the one that includes SARUMAN? “
SALESLADY: “ 1380.”
THERE IS NO LIFE IN THE VOID!
FLIM: “ But my friend said that he got SAURON with SARUMAN for 1,150. Why and when was the price raised?”
BUILD ME AN ARMY WORTHY OF MORDOR!
SALESLADY: “ they made a mistake at the head office and realized that they priced it at the same level when the one with SARUMAN should be more expensive>”
THERE IS NO LIFE IN THE VOID!
FLIM: ” Sounds fair enough. Ok give me a few seconds to decide which to get.”
CESS: “ Why do you have to decide, it’s pretty obvious that you’ll get the one with the saruman figure included.”?
BUILD ME AN ARMY WORTHY OF MORDOR!
FLIM: “ ye that’s a steal but the problem is they don’t look good together inside the blister pack. They look cramped. But look at the single SAURON he looks pretty cool and sinister. Alone in his box, he retains the majesty and fearsome aura that should be his alone.
BUILD ME AN ARMY WORTHY OF MORDOR!
Look at the SAURON AND SARUMAN TANDEM. They look like gay lovers out for a SATURDAY BONDAGE SESSION.”
CESS: “ But you’ll open it…so why does it matter.”
FLIM: “ Oh no. I’m not opening this. Im just putting it in display!
SALESLADY:” That’s what the other Chinese guy said. He also took a long time in deciding which of the two to get. His display case is made out of glass and has this small bulb like things inside.
FLIM: ” Halogen lamps. Makes for very good mood lighting. Can you hold on to these I need to think?
THERE IS NO LIFE IN THE VOID!
When in doubt never buys. Just walk around to clear your head and put things in the proper perspective.
CESS: " And will you please stop pressing the button on the back, it might wear off the batteries
" BUILD ME AN ARM...."
SALESLADY: “ ok But you better come back soon. A lot of people are looking for these.
I wandered the mall and went into this small toyshop. I promised to get the kid a nice looking and evil toy that she can play with. When lo and behold I find a SURON SARUMAN double team package for …1,100.
FLIM: ‘ DID YOU KNOW that in the department store they raised their prices because the head office said that they made a mistake?”
MANAGER: “ We are not raising our prices here. What you see is what you get.”
FLIM: “ Bag it! “
THE TWO TOWERS EXTENDED EDITION MISHAP.
When my TWO TOWERS extended edition arrived, I was so happy that I breezed thru my lectures with excitement and anticipation for the film viewing to come. Imagine my disappointment when I opened the DVDs and they were littered with large scratches and deep fissure groves.
MY PRECIOUS! WHY MY PRECIOUS?
I did not have the heart to watch it. I called up my supplier who promised to replace them.
Today the replacement arrived but again, it is damaged with scratches and fingerprints. That’s disc 1, so I just exchanged and replaced the damaged discs. Now I have in my possession an amalgamation of the two towers. Parts of the older package and bits of the newer one.
Original DVD manufacturers are getting very sloppy indeed.
RETURN OF THE KING.
My producer texted me that he bought me and Cess two tickets for THE RETURN OF THE KING PREMIERE. GREAT GUNS! WHAT A NICE GUY!
CESS: “ BUT WHAT ABOUT MY MOTHER’S PARTY. She’s hosting one this week and…”
FLIM: “ My dear, there’s no contest. OF COURSE we have to cancel your mother’s party. As much as I like your Mom, I can’t resist the temptation of the one ring!
Maybe they can move the party or something.”
CESS: “ Its her party. We’re just invited.”
FLIM: “ I know. I know! The tragedy of it all.”
Ticktockticktockticktock, REPENT SAID THE TICKTOCKMAN TO THE HARLEQUIN.
CESS: “ Let’s cancel the party! “
And we both giggled like evil hobittses on a small fishing boat. But of course we all know how that all turned out.
