Someone asked me what's my favorite movie? Who's my favorite director? Who's my favorite actor? Actress? Script writer? But not one of them would ask me What's my favorite line from a film. Which I think is a sadly ignored department.Dave ED introduced me to this giant of a man whose name was NIKOS. He looked like he would be at home in an ITALIAN CREW.Anyway I was lounging around with them and since Dave was a big SWORD AND SANDAL FAN would mouth off his PETER USTINOV IMPERSONATIONS that were rather good.

FLIM: " BUT you can't do RICHARD BURTON ."

Then Nikos steps up to batt.

NIKOS: " BURTON? I'll do BURTON......... Let me think.... OK. ...PILATE'S THE GOVERNOR! THE ROOOOOOOOOOOMAN GUVNOR!
Incredible!

Then it's my turn.

My style is I do multiple impersonations!Actually movie scenes complete with actions.

FLIM: " WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE?

FLIM: " A FLEET OF HORSES! THE WIND IN YOUR HAIR! FALCONS ON YOUR WRIST!"

FLIM: " WRONG! CONAN WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE?

FLIM: ' KILL YOUR ENEMIES! SEE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU AND HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THE WOMEN! "

DAVE: " fucking cool! YEAH CONAN THE BARBERIAN ROCKS! "

This is another quote that I love from the film. Its in the final fight scene.Conan is sorruounded by a hundred legion of THULSA DOOM and faces imminent destruction.Conan while leaning on a monolith utters a prayer to his god.

CONAN>:“Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought and why we died. All that matters is that today, two stood against many. Valor pleases you, so grant me this one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, the HELL with you!”

There was sequel but I don’t want to mention that movie. The only notable scene there is when Conan is once again surrounded. And the enemy is exchanging pleasantries with him.

CONAN: “ ENOUGH TALK”

Then hurls the dagger at the nearest target.

Was directed by RICHARD FLEISCHER who did the KIRK DOUGLAS/ TONY CURTIS MOVIE VIKINGS.

John Mulius one of the purveyors of MACHO CINEMA and the writer and direcor of the original was slated to do a sequel. He even wrote a script but recent developments say that it has been shelved and Conan is now being played by a younger version. To get the teen market. They should have learned the lesson with that TEENAGE BEASTMASTER. Anyway CONAN: CROWN OF IRON has an incredible storyline that sadly would not be seen in screen.

There is a scene reminiscent of the first one.

From the revised script written by JOHN MUILUS

My favorite barberian is facing impossible odds once again .He prays to his favorite GOD.

CONAN:Crom! Again we are here. One thing I know... you are watching, you old wolf! The odds are long again, you enjoy that. If I die, we will meet in Valhalla, I will eat at your table. And if I live, you will find other ways to torture me.

Nowadays it's all fast cuts and four frame intercuts and dazzling computer graphics! Well whopee dee!Give me cool lines anytime.its a lost art.Here are some that stick to mind.

" Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love." - ANNIE HALL

ANOTHER NICE ONE FROM ANNIE HALL

"I have a very pessimistic view of life. You should know this about me if we're gonna go out. You know, I - I feel that life is - is divided up into the horrible and the miserable. Those are the two categories, you know. The - the horrible would be like, um, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. You know, and the miserable is everyone else. That's - that's - so - so - when you go through life - you should be thankful that you're miserable because you're very lucky to be miserable."

Then there's this piece of gem from the ERROL FLYN version of ROBIN HOOD.Anyone who tells me KEVIN COSTNER was credible should have his head examined.There's only one ROBIN HOOD and that's ERROL FLYN!!!!

ROBIN HOOD: "Overtaxed, overworked and paid off with a knife, a club or a rope."
PRINCE JOHN: "Why, you speak treason."
ROBIN HOOD : "Fluently."


"My, my, my! Such a lot of guns around town and so few brains."from the THE BIG SLEEP

"He must come, he must take me away, he must love me, he must. Morris will love me - for all those who didn't."-THE HEIRESS

"Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops." -ARSENIC AND OLD LACE

This one is a riot from that sadly neglected wunderkind, ORSON WELLES who starred and wrote this little number.

"In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed - but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."- THE THIRD MAN

"Outside, Countess. As long as they've got sidewalks, you've got a job."-FOOTLIGHT PARADE

These days screen writer's idea of a good dialogue is "WE HAVE TO GO THRU JUNCTION A AND CLOSE OFF THE SAVEFTY VALVE TO RELIEVE THE PRESSURE BUILD-UP OR IT'S ADIOS MUCHACOS! THERMAL NUCLEAR EXPLOSION! "

Takes a lot of imagination to come up with a whooper like that!