Cess had the bright idea of buying advance tickets to the SPIDERMAN2 showing.
FLIM: “ Why? “
CESS: “ I don’t want to line up and then be late with the first few minutes of the movie because of the length of people queuing. Remember HARRY POTTER 3? “
FLIM: “ UGH How can I forget that terrible movie. Fine! “
So she goes over the ticket seller.
CESS: “ If we buy this ticket we wont have to fall in line to buy our tickets, right? We can go straight in.”
TICKET SELLER: “ Yes, mum. Its Hassle free.”
CESS: “ We want to watch it at …”
FLIM: “ Cinema 1. The projectors there are in good condition.”
Ever wonder why at certain parts of the movie the images are clear and then it goes hazy? Or when the images are very bright and then suddenly they go dark. That happens when the 2 projectors are not properly calibrated. Or they’re too old to be fixed. Or the projection lamp on projector 2 needs to be changed but they wont because it’s too expensive? Well those are the reasons. Choosing what theater to watch a movie in is very important.I already made a mental map of which theaters have very good projectors and those that don’t. I can remember how many times I turned down watching a film with friends because their choice in theaters are abysmal.
TICKET seller: “ YES YOU CAN WATCH AT CINEMA 1.”
FLIM: “ Great lets buy em! “
CESS: “ Now we wont have to line up with the hordes of people tomorrow when the film opens. Remember this is the only foreign film that will open against the sea of local films. ”
FLIM: “ Meaning? “
CESS: “ People are starved for good entertainment. You think they love watching those terrible Filipino films? Of course they will gorge themselves on SPIDERMAN 2 tomorrow.”
The following morning there is a huge typhoon. Even the weather hates the president whose oat taking is costing the nation, 5 MILLION PESOS!
FLIM: “ You know I was thinking. If there were a lot of people who bought the advance tickets so they wont line up then there will certainly be a line for them too.”
CESS: “ That won’t happen if the screening starts at 10. The mall opens at 10. But I’d better call them up and ask what time the screening starts.”
She comes back a few minutes later.
CESS: “ The screening is at 11:40.”
FLIM: “ By that time there will be a line for people who also bought the advance tickets.”
CESS: “ I think we better leave now.”
FLIM: “ Don’t you find this ironic? We bought the advance tickets so we wont have to line up with the rest of the rabble and now we have to hurry so we would be first in line with the people who don’t have to line up to get their tickets.”
CESS: “ Ohh, just get dress will you? “
We got to ROBINSONS at 10:15 and true enough there is a massive line outside the theater. I walk over the ticket seller and flash our tickets like a badge of courage.
FLIM: “ We don’t have to line up with these guys right? We can just walk in.”
TICKET SELLER: “ Oh yes sir.”
FLIM: So what time do you sell the tickets? “
TICKET SELLER: “ At 11 sir.”
So we hang out in front of the entrance. As the minutes tick I felt good that Cess came up with the plan. A group of ten people line up behind us. They too bought the advance tickets. The line of people buying tickets begun eyeing us with suspicion. Probably thinking why we don’t have to fall in line with them. When the usher comes in front of us, I show him the ticket
USHER: “ Sir this is only for cinemas 5 and 6. Not for cinema 1.”
Cess looks distraught.
CESS: “ Oh no.”
FLIM: “ So much for hassle free.”
Then I trained my guns on the usher. I love his cocky face as he delivered that news tidbit.I then drew a very deep breath.
And …
I let him have it.
FLIM: “ WHAT DO YOU MEAN CINEMA 5 AND 6? THE TICKET SELLER ASSURED US THAT THIS IS FOR CINEMA 1.”
USHER: “ Sorry sir this is for cinema 5 and 6.”
FLIM: “ I’M NOT GOING TO FALL IN LINE AGAIN! WE BOUGHT THIS TICKETS IN ADVANCE SO IT WONT BE HASSLE FREE. THAT WAS YOUR TAG LINE RIGHT?
Usher: “ Ok SIR. We will check with the manager.’
CESS: “ How can they do this? “
I turned around and looked at the line of advance ticket buyers.
FLIM: “ Can you believe this? They won’t let us in! THEY SAID our tickets are for CINEMA 5 AND 6.”
The crowd just looks at me. What a bunch of Zombies! I was expecting some kind of uproar. But all they did was scratch their heads and clenched their popcorns closer their breasts!
By this time the ticket booth started to sell tickets and the people who were lining up were coming in.
CESS: “ Look. They’re already letting people in. And we’re stuck here.”
FLIM: “ Hey! “
The usher comes back.
USHER: “ Sorry sir. They will let the two of you in. We just have to wait for our word from the manager.
FLIM: “ WERE NOT ONLY 2. HOW ABOUT THESE GUYS THEY BOUGHT THEIR TICKETS TOO! “
I then turned around and looked at the people behind me.
FLIM: “ COME ON GUYS! YOU SHOULD FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHTS AS CONSUMERS! “
But they just stood there quiet and scratching their heads while some ate their popcorns.
The usher comes back
USHER:” Sir can you go to the office and talk to the manager…
A guard in uniform started to postion himself in front of the usher and the entrance.
FLIM: IM NOT GOING TO THE OFFICE AND IM NOT GOING TO THE MANAGER. THIS ISNT OUR PROBLEM THIS IS A MANAGEMENT PROBLEM! COME ON CESS WERE GOING IN! “
Cess was hesitant to go in.But I grabbed her arm and I pushed the guard aside.WE then walked inside. i didn teven bother to give them a second look if they would follow us in to stop us
CESS: “ I can’t believe you just did that? They might arrest us!”
FLIM: “ The hell they will. They’re too flabbergasted to even react! We paid for our tickets! LET MANAGEMENT FIGURE IT OUT! “
CESS: “ We’re actually in! “
We picked the best seats in the house. Which is four rows in the back. Cess cannot watch if the seats are too near the screen. She has this eye problem. So whenever we watch we sometimes have to separate because seats in the back are very rare to come by.
After sitting. Cess starts to laugh on how we made a clean getaway.A 20 minutes later the film has not started yet and Someone from the the back chair leans forward and talks to me.
STUDENT: “ They finally let us in.”
He is one of the people who bought the advance tickets.
FLIM: “ Why did it take you that long to get in? “
STUDENT: “ After you came in, we tried to follow you but the guard started pushing us back. You are right. We should be more assertive with our rights as a consumer!”
Anyway there we were with a large cool drink and some ruffles cheese and garlic potatoes chips. Hoping that this movie is worth the aggravation.
CESS: “ When we exit can we just run past them.”
FLIM: “ Why are we going to run? We didn’t do anything wrong. In fact I’m going to go over the usher and have him stamp my arm! Just for fun! “
The film was worth the earlier skirmish. I love SPIDERMAN2. I didn’t like the first spidey flick. I thought it was blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. A BIG NOTHING! The green goblins mask was really bad and WILLIAM DAFOE was a big reject from the JACK NICHOLSON School for COMIC roles.
I also found the first one very bland for a SAM RAIMI film. Like he directed the film with two restraining bolts welded on his neck. I have been a fan since I saw the first EVIL DEAD film. Even CRIME WAVE, which was his follow up film, was still ok compared to SPIDERMAN1. There was nothing RAIMISH in his films after THE QUICK AND THE DEAD. FOR LOVE OF THE GAME was a COSTNER flick. But SPIDEY 2… SPIDEY 2 is amazing! RAIMI OF EVIL DEAD FAME RETURNS!
This is the second greatest COMIC BOOK FILM of ALL TIME.SUPERMAN 1 is still the film too beat. But it’s almost neck-to-neck. A Friend told me that XMEN 2 is till the sequel to beat!
PARDON MOI? Just because a sequel has more action beats and more explosions and you have the computer graphics running double time does NOT MAKE A FILM GOOD!XMEN 2 was just an excuse to see ADAMANTUIM CLAWS go click! BIG FUCKING DEAL!
SPIDEY2 has more fight scenes and more SPFX. But it also has more plot points and Charm to spare! I went thru a whole gamut of emotions when I saw the movie. I can remember even RETURN OF THE KING failed to do that for me.
DOCTOR OCTUPUS! Well Like I told Cess. He is the best spidey villain there is. He’s not too maniacal like NICOLSON or DAFOE. MOLINA is…well MOLINA.
Originally ARNULD SWAZ was DR OC. And LEONARDO DE CAPRI is PETER PARKER in the JAMES CAMERON version.
I think in the long run that we were lucky; CAMERON scuttled that project after winning the OSCAR. I don’t think ARNULD would have played it as effective as MOLINA. Every time I see arnuld I remember MR FREEZE and it …I just shudder.
Back or Molina, I like the Schizo like relationship he has with his four tentacles. Apparently all villains now have a schizo thing going on. Started with GOLLUM and then we have the GREEN GOBLIN.
Anyway the end shows DR OCTOPUS in the same league as ROY BATTY FROM BLADE RUNNER! Great villains who are larger than life and have the power to make their heroic opponents go,
“ OHHH…He did it. Wow! And I thought he was just a villain.”
CESS: “ How can they top DR OCTOPUS? Who are the other SPiDEY VILLAINS? “
FLIM: “ Well there’s the LIZARD… ELECTRO.”
CESS: “ Who’s ELCTRO? “
FLIM: “ Guy with electrical forks coming out of his head..”
CESS: “ Ugh…DR OC is the best.’
FLIM: “ There’s the vulture.”
CESS: “ What’s that?
FLIM: “ Old balding guy with feathers.”
CESS: “ Yuck.”
FIM: “ There’s the sandman…”
But I agree with her Nothing can top DOC OC. Even the new villain looming in the background doest seem so promising. I’m definitely going to see it again. Maybe in the same theater, I hope to see the same usher again. Maybe we will have a BOUT 2. Hehehehe
Sunday, June 27, 2004
TIMING
While everybody slept, they proclaimed her, like a thief in the night. They had to do it in stealth. What does that say? Does that sound like somebody who won fair and square?
If I won…I wouldn’t have my proclamation in the wee hours of the morning. The only ones who are awake are those that are planning or doing NEFARIOUS DEEDS! I would have it in the middle of the day. Sometime before lunch. Having it afterwards, you lose about 30 percent of your viewers because of the siesta habit we appropriated from our Spanish conquerors. I would have it proclaimed thru the four corners of the archipelago that I won! THAT I AM NOW SOLE MASTER OF THE ISLANDS! THAT YOU IDIOTS WOULD BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!
You don’t tip toe your way to the Presidency. I can see her advisors, some of them wearing polka dot pajamas and teddy bear bathrobes. Surrounding her and mouthing off tips!
“ My advise to you, MR PRESIDENT is to have it around 3 AM. In that way you wont have howls of protest. The opposition would still be snoring and drooling on their pillows. By the time they read the papers while having their scrambled eggs and black coffee, they will be too lethargic to reply. They’d just shake it off as “CEST LA VIE.”
Now in the afternoon as the weight of their defeat sinks in. We come up with a unity plan and give them some choice appointments. They would be grateful and would shut up and slowly but surely we’d have them eating out of our hands. But the first step is the timing!
But remember not after lunch! They would be sleeping and digesting and that’s not a very good time to give them this whooper. Oh no. Must be after they wake up. Then they would be more susceptible to …dare I say it, suggestions? “
They did it while we all slept. But they could have done it in the middle of the day and we would have done nothing about it. Even when we are awake… we’re still ASLEEP!!!!
She has just been proclaimed and now our electrical rates are about to shot up! She made a deal with the devil and the piper has come to collect! What did you expect? How did she get that second rate anchor man to become her running mate without his mother company who conveniently owns the ELECTRIC COMPANY giving its blessing. OF COURSE SHE ‘S GOING TO PAY! BUT THE PROBLEM IS SHE’S NOT THE ONE DOING THE PAYING, WE ARE!
In this mornings paper she claims that she had no idea that the electrical rates would be raised. OF COURSE SHE WOULD CLAIM THAT! SHE RAN UNDER THE SLOGAN AND PROMISE THAT THE ELECTRIC RATES WOULD GO DOWN! AND HOW ON EARTH COULD SHE CLAIM THAT WHEN HER MAIN SUPPORTERS ARE THE FAMILY WHO OWNS THE ELCTRIC COMPANY!
And get this; the government would be spending 5 MILLION PESOS for her inauguration. 5 MILLION! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SPEND THAT MUCH FOR
INAGURATING A PRESIDENT? AND THEN THEY THINK OF NEW WAYS TO TAX US BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT DOESN’T HAVE ANY MONEY!
SO ON THE LEFT WE HAVE HER NEFARIOUS PARTNERS (THE ELECTRIC COMPANY and the family that owns it) who are already raising the rates as part of their war spoils and we have the government under her who would use public funds to GLORIFY her.
WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT??????
While everybody slept, they proclaimed her, like a thief in the night. They had to do it in stealth. What does that say? Does that sound like somebody who won fair and square?
If I won…I wouldn’t have my proclamation in the wee hours of the morning. The only ones who are awake are those that are planning or doing NEFARIOUS DEEDS! I would have it in the middle of the day. Sometime before lunch. Having it afterwards, you lose about 30 percent of your viewers because of the siesta habit we appropriated from our Spanish conquerors. I would have it proclaimed thru the four corners of the archipelago that I won! THAT I AM NOW SOLE MASTER OF THE ISLANDS! THAT YOU IDIOTS WOULD BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!
You don’t tip toe your way to the Presidency. I can see her advisors, some of them wearing polka dot pajamas and teddy bear bathrobes. Surrounding her and mouthing off tips!
“ My advise to you, MR PRESIDENT is to have it around 3 AM. In that way you wont have howls of protest. The opposition would still be snoring and drooling on their pillows. By the time they read the papers while having their scrambled eggs and black coffee, they will be too lethargic to reply. They’d just shake it off as “CEST LA VIE.”
Now in the afternoon as the weight of their defeat sinks in. We come up with a unity plan and give them some choice appointments. They would be grateful and would shut up and slowly but surely we’d have them eating out of our hands. But the first step is the timing!
But remember not after lunch! They would be sleeping and digesting and that’s not a very good time to give them this whooper. Oh no. Must be after they wake up. Then they would be more susceptible to …dare I say it, suggestions? “
They did it while we all slept. But they could have done it in the middle of the day and we would have done nothing about it. Even when we are awake… we’re still ASLEEP!!!!
She has just been proclaimed and now our electrical rates are about to shot up! She made a deal with the devil and the piper has come to collect! What did you expect? How did she get that second rate anchor man to become her running mate without his mother company who conveniently owns the ELECTRIC COMPANY giving its blessing. OF COURSE SHE ‘S GOING TO PAY! BUT THE PROBLEM IS SHE’S NOT THE ONE DOING THE PAYING, WE ARE!
In this mornings paper she claims that she had no idea that the electrical rates would be raised. OF COURSE SHE WOULD CLAIM THAT! SHE RAN UNDER THE SLOGAN AND PROMISE THAT THE ELECTRIC RATES WOULD GO DOWN! AND HOW ON EARTH COULD SHE CLAIM THAT WHEN HER MAIN SUPPORTERS ARE THE FAMILY WHO OWNS THE ELCTRIC COMPANY!
And get this; the government would be spending 5 MILLION PESOS for her inauguration. 5 MILLION! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SPEND THAT MUCH FOR
INAGURATING A PRESIDENT? AND THEN THEY THINK OF NEW WAYS TO TAX US BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT DOESN’T HAVE ANY MONEY!
SO ON THE LEFT WE HAVE HER NEFARIOUS PARTNERS (THE ELECTRIC COMPANY and the family that owns it) who are already raising the rates as part of their war spoils and we have the government under her who would use public funds to GLORIFY her.
WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT??????
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
One of my filmmaking heroes will always be GARY KURTZ. He’s not too popular nowadays because he hasn’t done any high profile films lately but he did produced 3 films that are still considered one of the highest grossing films of all time. AMERICAN GRAFFITI, STARWARS and EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. I wrote earlier on that one of the reasons EPISODE 1AND 2 sucked was because GEORGE LUCAS hired RICK MCCALLUM as his producer. If you don’t believe me watch the DVDs of the a fore mentioned films. MCCALLUM is a YES MAN. He would stop at nothing short of kissing GEORGE LUCAS butts and praising hosannas as long as he gets to keep his job.
Unlike GARY KURTZ who stuck his neck out too often and told LUCAS that some of his ideas don’t work. Well if he didn’t then we would have the EWOKS A FILM TOO EARLY, prancing and uttering their inane gibberish on the HOTH PLANET!
In the early 80s, I remember opening the newspaper one morning and seeing the then PRESIDENT MARCOS welcoming the international delegates of the manila international film festival and my eyes nearly popped out! There seated across him was
GARY KURTZ! He’s a Quaker and had that trademark Quaker beard and the hair that was combed to the left! Of course there was no caption on the paper mentioning his name. But I know that face! His photos in Tunisia beside LUCAS doing STAR WARS were plastered all over the sci-fi magazines that I collected!
My guess was that he was here to promote the release of his latest film the JIM Henson directed DARK CRYSTAL. So I told my cousins who were STAR WARS FREAK that KURTZ was here and that we should shell out the then astronomical 300 pesos to watch the movie premiere in the hope of bumping into him and having him signed my JOHN WILLAIMS STAR WARS SOUNDTRACK DOUBLE LP.
We went in early on the look out for KURTZ. My cousin spotted BEN KINGSLEY who was there for GHANDI and ran after him for an autograph. I was never into the RICHARD ATTENBOURGH 3 HOUR EPIC ABOUT A THIN MAN WHO STARVED HIMSELF TO DEATH. I was into THE GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY.
I didn’t see him but I saw DARK CRYSTAL. It was ok not spectacular. There was something about watching a film starring puppets and marionettes that becomes tedious after the first hour. Anyway, Brian Froud designed some of the creatures in the film.
Kurtz is one of those unique film producers who went to film school and is a filmmaker. He shot second unit photography on STAR WARS and EMPIRE, He was also the still photograher on GODFATHER 2. He can talk and articulate on film preservation and acrhving using the optical printer and storing the original negs minus the primary three colours!
I wonder how EPISODE 1 AND 2 AND RETURN OF THE JEDI would have been like if KURTZ stayed on as producer. A hell of a lot better than the present versions!
And incidentally the original choice to play HAN SOLO was CHRISTOPHER WALKEN. TOSHIRO MIFUNE was being tagged to play OBI WAN KENOBI.
I don’t know about CHRISTOPHER WALKEN but I wonder who would be playing the young OBI WAN if MIFUNE agreed to play KENOBI.
Unlike GARY KURTZ who stuck his neck out too often and told LUCAS that some of his ideas don’t work. Well if he didn’t then we would have the EWOKS A FILM TOO EARLY, prancing and uttering their inane gibberish on the HOTH PLANET!
In the early 80s, I remember opening the newspaper one morning and seeing the then PRESIDENT MARCOS welcoming the international delegates of the manila international film festival and my eyes nearly popped out! There seated across him was
GARY KURTZ! He’s a Quaker and had that trademark Quaker beard and the hair that was combed to the left! Of course there was no caption on the paper mentioning his name. But I know that face! His photos in Tunisia beside LUCAS doing STAR WARS were plastered all over the sci-fi magazines that I collected!
My guess was that he was here to promote the release of his latest film the JIM Henson directed DARK CRYSTAL. So I told my cousins who were STAR WARS FREAK that KURTZ was here and that we should shell out the then astronomical 300 pesos to watch the movie premiere in the hope of bumping into him and having him signed my JOHN WILLAIMS STAR WARS SOUNDTRACK DOUBLE LP.
We went in early on the look out for KURTZ. My cousin spotted BEN KINGSLEY who was there for GHANDI and ran after him for an autograph. I was never into the RICHARD ATTENBOURGH 3 HOUR EPIC ABOUT A THIN MAN WHO STARVED HIMSELF TO DEATH. I was into THE GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY.
I didn’t see him but I saw DARK CRYSTAL. It was ok not spectacular. There was something about watching a film starring puppets and marionettes that becomes tedious after the first hour. Anyway, Brian Froud designed some of the creatures in the film.
Kurtz is one of those unique film producers who went to film school and is a filmmaker. He shot second unit photography on STAR WARS and EMPIRE, He was also the still photograher on GODFATHER 2. He can talk and articulate on film preservation and acrhving using the optical printer and storing the original negs minus the primary three colours!
I wonder how EPISODE 1 AND 2 AND RETURN OF THE JEDI would have been like if KURTZ stayed on as producer. A hell of a lot better than the present versions!
And incidentally the original choice to play HAN SOLO was CHRISTOPHER WALKEN. TOSHIRO MIFUNE was being tagged to play OBI WAN KENOBI.
I don’t know about CHRISTOPHER WALKEN but I wonder who would be playing the young OBI WAN if MIFUNE agreed to play KENOBI.
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
CESS: “ Lend me something to read.”
I gave her MOONSHADOW. After a few hours she returns it to me.
CESS: “ This is really bad. This is full of 80’s pretentious stuff.”
FLIM: “ Don’t you find it poignant? “
CESS: “ It’s trying too hard to be deep …I don’t like it. Now lend me another one.”
So I gave her WATCHMEN.
CESS: “ This is heavy and thick.”
FLIM: “ Try it.”
CESS: “ But why is it dilapidated? “
Cause I left it inside the car and that stupid driver of ours left the windows open one time it was raining. IT GOT SOAKED!HOW CAN ANYONE LEAVE THE CAR WINDOWS OPEN WHEN ITS RAINING????
CESS: “ Well its your fault. You shouldn’t have left it inside the car. The car becomes an oven in the afternoon!
The following day. She returns it to me.
CESS: “ This is good. I like it. I felt bad about ROSHARK. I love his character.”
I took out my pristine V FOR VENDETTA
FLIM: “ Here READ THIS. This is even better.”
CESS: “ Just leave it there. I’ll get back to it I want to see this week’s episode of SIX FEET UNDER.”
FLIM: “ I don’t know about leaving it around…
CESS: “ You’re being too paranoid again.”
An inner voice told me that it would be a bad idea. I’m not use to just leaving my good books lying around. But I thought I was just being too paranoid. So I left it on the bed and we watched that bad series.
Then we ate lunch . When I leafed thru the copy I was shocked to find giant creases on the cover and the pages were mangled!
I SCREAMED IN HORROR!!!!!
I confronted the maid.
FLIM: “ WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BOOK??? ”
MAID: “ I didn’t do anything.”
FLIM: “ This book was pristine when I left it in the room and after you cleaned up…. Look at this now?”
But of course she continues to deny it.
CESS: Maybe it was damaged before.”
FLIM: “ No it was pristine and mint when I took it out of the shelf. Look at the folded edges. She dropped it while cleaning. It WAS ON THE BED! NOW ITS ON THE DRAWER! SOMETHING HAPPENED IN BETWEEN ITS TRIP FROM THE BED TO THE DRAWER! SHE DROPPED IT AND SHE WONT EVEN ADMIT IT!”
CESS: “ Yes I think she dropped it. Look at the pages. This is where it fell! “
FLIM: “ The thing that gets to me is that she wont even admit it!”
CESS: “ It takes strength of character to do that. If she has that then she wont be a maid anymore. Unlike JING-JING the maid we had before.She returned a 500peso bill that she found downstairs …now that is strength of character! “
CESS:” Besides it’s just a crease. You shouldn’t freak out over it! “
FLIM: “ Werent you the one who admonished me about leaving WATCHMEN inside the car? “
CESS: “ Let me take a look at it. Its not so …yes it doesn’t look so good anymore! “
FLIM: “ LOOK AT THAT GIANT CREASE! RUNNING ON THE FRONT COVER!
It’s like you take care of it. You read it without opening the spine too much.
You know how difficult it is to do that. Then this IDIOT comes waltzing in
and within a space of a few minutes she destroys something that took you 12
years to take care of!
I fondled my mangled V FOR VENDETTA.
CESS: “ Don’t feel bad. I’ll buy you a new copy. It’s my father’s day gift to you.”
It was nice of her to do so. But we’re not just talking about another copy. I had this copy since 92. It has been my book for 12 years.
Then the words of an old teacher came back, “ THE UNIVERSE ABHORS PERFECTION.”
Indeed. The driver drenched my WATCHMEN copy. Now its wrinkled and stained.
Then that stupid maid mangled V FOR VENDETTA. One thing’s for sure domestic helps really hate ALAN MOORE.
FLIM: “ I’m not going to connect the cable tv downstairs anymore.”
For days now I have been trying to repair the cable connection to the tv downstairs so that the domestic help would have access to cable tv. It has been connected for such a long time now but recently the link kept slipping off. Me being a nice guy would go out of my way to try fixing the problem so that the DOMESTICS would have something to watch.
But now all the semblance of a nice guy quickly left me
FLIM: “ I’m not going to connect the cable tv downstairs anymore.”
Anyway when they didn’t have cable they just watch the shitty programs in channel 2. When we had the cable connected downstairs they still stuck on channel 2. But the reception became clearer. Well now…
IN THE WORDS OF THE IMMORTAL KHAN NOON SIGN ,
FLIM: “ LET THEM MEET STATIC! “
I gave her MOONSHADOW. After a few hours she returns it to me.
CESS: “ This is really bad. This is full of 80’s pretentious stuff.”
FLIM: “ Don’t you find it poignant? “
CESS: “ It’s trying too hard to be deep …I don’t like it. Now lend me another one.”
So I gave her WATCHMEN.
CESS: “ This is heavy and thick.”
FLIM: “ Try it.”
CESS: “ But why is it dilapidated? “
Cause I left it inside the car and that stupid driver of ours left the windows open one time it was raining. IT GOT SOAKED!HOW CAN ANYONE LEAVE THE CAR WINDOWS OPEN WHEN ITS RAINING????
CESS: “ Well its your fault. You shouldn’t have left it inside the car. The car becomes an oven in the afternoon!
The following day. She returns it to me.
CESS: “ This is good. I like it. I felt bad about ROSHARK. I love his character.”
I took out my pristine V FOR VENDETTA
FLIM: “ Here READ THIS. This is even better.”
CESS: “ Just leave it there. I’ll get back to it I want to see this week’s episode of SIX FEET UNDER.”
FLIM: “ I don’t know about leaving it around…
CESS: “ You’re being too paranoid again.”
An inner voice told me that it would be a bad idea. I’m not use to just leaving my good books lying around. But I thought I was just being too paranoid. So I left it on the bed and we watched that bad series.
Then we ate lunch . When I leafed thru the copy I was shocked to find giant creases on the cover and the pages were mangled!
I SCREAMED IN HORROR!!!!!
I confronted the maid.
FLIM: “ WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BOOK??? ”
MAID: “ I didn’t do anything.”
FLIM: “ This book was pristine when I left it in the room and after you cleaned up…. Look at this now?”
But of course she continues to deny it.
CESS: Maybe it was damaged before.”
FLIM: “ No it was pristine and mint when I took it out of the shelf. Look at the folded edges. She dropped it while cleaning. It WAS ON THE BED! NOW ITS ON THE DRAWER! SOMETHING HAPPENED IN BETWEEN ITS TRIP FROM THE BED TO THE DRAWER! SHE DROPPED IT AND SHE WONT EVEN ADMIT IT!”
CESS: “ Yes I think she dropped it. Look at the pages. This is where it fell! “
FLIM: “ The thing that gets to me is that she wont even admit it!”
CESS: “ It takes strength of character to do that. If she has that then she wont be a maid anymore. Unlike JING-JING the maid we had before.She returned a 500peso bill that she found downstairs …now that is strength of character! “
CESS:” Besides it’s just a crease. You shouldn’t freak out over it! “
FLIM: “ Werent you the one who admonished me about leaving WATCHMEN inside the car? “
CESS: “ Let me take a look at it. Its not so …yes it doesn’t look so good anymore! “
FLIM: “ LOOK AT THAT GIANT CREASE! RUNNING ON THE FRONT COVER!
It’s like you take care of it. You read it without opening the spine too much.
You know how difficult it is to do that. Then this IDIOT comes waltzing in
and within a space of a few minutes she destroys something that took you 12
years to take care of!
I fondled my mangled V FOR VENDETTA.
CESS: “ Don’t feel bad. I’ll buy you a new copy. It’s my father’s day gift to you.”
It was nice of her to do so. But we’re not just talking about another copy. I had this copy since 92. It has been my book for 12 years.
Then the words of an old teacher came back, “ THE UNIVERSE ABHORS PERFECTION.”
Indeed. The driver drenched my WATCHMEN copy. Now its wrinkled and stained.
Then that stupid maid mangled V FOR VENDETTA. One thing’s for sure domestic helps really hate ALAN MOORE.
FLIM: “ I’m not going to connect the cable tv downstairs anymore.”
For days now I have been trying to repair the cable connection to the tv downstairs so that the domestic help would have access to cable tv. It has been connected for such a long time now but recently the link kept slipping off. Me being a nice guy would go out of my way to try fixing the problem so that the DOMESTICS would have something to watch.
But now all the semblance of a nice guy quickly left me
FLIM: “ I’m not going to connect the cable tv downstairs anymore.”
Anyway when they didn’t have cable they just watch the shitty programs in channel 2. When we had the cable connected downstairs they still stuck on channel 2. But the reception became clearer. Well now…
IN THE WORDS OF THE IMMORTAL KHAN NOON SIGN ,
FLIM: “ LET THEM MEET STATIC! “
Saturday, June 12, 2004
DAY 4
Fever’s gone but still weak. Funny thing is the fish is now swimming belly up and quite vigorously.
DAY THREE
Cess is staring at the aquarium. Still coughing. General malaise. Cant even go to the gym because …joints hurt.
CESS: “ I hope the fish gets well.
FLIM: “ You can always get another fish. A prettier one than that! “
CESS: “ But Selina loves this fish. She even gave him a name, ELMO.”
Fever’s gone but still weak. Funny thing is the fish is now swimming belly up and quite vigorously.
DAY THREE
Cess is staring at the aquarium. Still coughing. General malaise. Cant even go to the gym because …joints hurt.
CESS: “ I hope the fish gets well.
FLIM: “ You can always get another fish. A prettier one than that! “
CESS: “ But Selina loves this fish. She even gave him a name, ELMO.”
Sunday, June 06, 2004
CESS: “Do you think this is natural? “
FLIM: “ No. I don’t think so.”
She is pointing at SELINA’s fish that was swimming belly up.
CESS: “ But look it’s swimming.’
FLIM: “ As far as I know only humans can do back strokes. When a fish does something like that it’s not good.”
CESS: “ Maybe it’s preparing to sleep. Have you seen how fish sleep? “
FLIM: “ It’s the middle of the day. What it was up all night partying? “
CESS: “ And look at the water level. It has decreased rapidly since yesterday.”
Selina’s YAYA, AIDA joins this bizarre conversation.
AIDA: “ MUM, that’s what they call evaporation.”
Then our cook DALIA butts in.
DALIA: “ NO! OF COURSE NOT. The water decreased because the fish drank it, what else? Do you see him getting out of the aquarium to get a drink of water? “
FLIM:” QUIET ALL OF YOU! I can’t think!
I look at the fish .By now he has stopped swimming around and is just belly up and breathing.
FLIM: “ Maybe he got the flu just like the rest of us.”
Ever since Friday, Selina was down with the flu and then Cess went down, Saturday morning. Then it was my turn today. My head is aching and I have a bad cold.
FLIM: “ Don’t you find it strange that the fish is sick just like the rest of us.”?
CESS: “ MY sister said that she owned that fish for years and it doesn’t get sick.”
FLIM: “ Well the Huns conquered ROME eventually! “
CESS: “ She said that we should give it some medicine.”
I look at her and scratch my head with wonder.
FILM: “ And how do you propose we do that? Its mouth isn’t that big for me to ram the pills inside.”
CESS: “ I think that fish has been over fed. Selina’s been feeding him twice a day when the normal rate is that you feed it every other day.”
I then look at the small culprit who is staring at the fish.
FLIM: “ Great going kid. You just killed your first pet at the age of three. With the rate you’re going I bet you’ll be up the clock tower at age six. And hiding at the grassy knoll at 10.”
CESS: “ We have to save the fish. That’s the baby’s favorite past time. Feeding her.’
FLIM: “ Didn’t we used to have more fish? “
CESS: “ We had four, that fish ate it all.”
There’s more drama today around the aquarium stand than there is on cable.
FLIM: “ Let bring it to a marine biologist and see what happens.”
CESS: “ He’s overfed and he’s sick from gluttony. My sister said that we should check the MEDICAL EMERGENCY book.”
FLIM: “ That’s for humans! Its not like he’s choking on a chicken bone or something.”
CESS: “ Maybe we should try pumping his stomach.”
FLIM: “ No. I don’t think so.”
She is pointing at SELINA’s fish that was swimming belly up.
CESS: “ But look it’s swimming.’
FLIM: “ As far as I know only humans can do back strokes. When a fish does something like that it’s not good.”
CESS: “ Maybe it’s preparing to sleep. Have you seen how fish sleep? “
FLIM: “ It’s the middle of the day. What it was up all night partying? “
CESS: “ And look at the water level. It has decreased rapidly since yesterday.”
Selina’s YAYA, AIDA joins this bizarre conversation.
AIDA: “ MUM, that’s what they call evaporation.”
Then our cook DALIA butts in.
DALIA: “ NO! OF COURSE NOT. The water decreased because the fish drank it, what else? Do you see him getting out of the aquarium to get a drink of water? “
FLIM:” QUIET ALL OF YOU! I can’t think!
I look at the fish .By now he has stopped swimming around and is just belly up and breathing.
FLIM: “ Maybe he got the flu just like the rest of us.”
Ever since Friday, Selina was down with the flu and then Cess went down, Saturday morning. Then it was my turn today. My head is aching and I have a bad cold.
FLIM: “ Don’t you find it strange that the fish is sick just like the rest of us.”?
CESS: “ MY sister said that she owned that fish for years and it doesn’t get sick.”
FLIM: “ Well the Huns conquered ROME eventually! “
CESS: “ She said that we should give it some medicine.”
I look at her and scratch my head with wonder.
FILM: “ And how do you propose we do that? Its mouth isn’t that big for me to ram the pills inside.”
CESS: “ I think that fish has been over fed. Selina’s been feeding him twice a day when the normal rate is that you feed it every other day.”
I then look at the small culprit who is staring at the fish.
FLIM: “ Great going kid. You just killed your first pet at the age of three. With the rate you’re going I bet you’ll be up the clock tower at age six. And hiding at the grassy knoll at 10.”
CESS: “ We have to save the fish. That’s the baby’s favorite past time. Feeding her.’
FLIM: “ Didn’t we used to have more fish? “
CESS: “ We had four, that fish ate it all.”
There’s more drama today around the aquarium stand than there is on cable.
FLIM: “ Let bring it to a marine biologist and see what happens.”
CESS: “ He’s overfed and he’s sick from gluttony. My sister said that we should check the MEDICAL EMERGENCY book.”
FLIM: “ That’s for humans! Its not like he’s choking on a chicken bone or something.”
CESS: “ Maybe we should try pumping his stomach.”
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