CESS: “ Lend me something to read.”

I gave her MOONSHADOW. After a few hours she returns it to me.

CESS: “ This is really bad. This is full of 80’s pretentious stuff.”

FLIM: “ Don’t you find it poignant? “

CESS: “ It’s trying too hard to be deep …I don’t like it. Now lend me another one.”

So I gave her WATCHMEN.

CESS: “ This is heavy and thick.”

FLIM: “ Try it.”

CESS: “ But why is it dilapidated? “

Cause I left it inside the car and that stupid driver of ours left the windows open one time it was raining. IT GOT SOAKED!HOW CAN ANYONE LEAVE THE CAR WINDOWS OPEN WHEN ITS RAINING????

CESS: “ Well its your fault. You shouldn’t have left it inside the car. The car becomes an oven in the afternoon!

The following day. She returns it to me.

CESS: “ This is good. I like it. I felt bad about ROSHARK. I love his character.”

I took out my pristine V FOR VENDETTA

FLIM: “ Here READ THIS. This is even better.”

CESS: “ Just leave it there. I’ll get back to it I want to see this week’s episode of SIX FEET UNDER.”

FLIM: “ I don’t know about leaving it around…

CESS: “ You’re being too paranoid again.”

An inner voice told me that it would be a bad idea. I’m not use to just leaving my good books lying around. But I thought I was just being too paranoid. So I left it on the bed and we watched that bad series.

Then we ate lunch . When I leafed thru the copy I was shocked to find giant creases on the cover and the pages were mangled!

I SCREAMED IN HORROR!!!!!

I confronted the maid.

FLIM: “ WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BOOK??? ”

MAID: “ I didn’t do anything.”

FLIM: “ This book was pristine when I left it in the room and after you cleaned up…. Look at this now?”

But of course she continues to deny it.

CESS: Maybe it was damaged before.”

FLIM: “ No it was pristine and mint when I took it out of the shelf. Look at the folded edges. She dropped it while cleaning. It WAS ON THE BED! NOW ITS ON THE DRAWER! SOMETHING HAPPENED IN BETWEEN ITS TRIP FROM THE BED TO THE DRAWER! SHE DROPPED IT AND SHE WONT EVEN ADMIT IT!”

CESS: “ Yes I think she dropped it. Look at the pages. This is where it fell! “

FLIM: “ The thing that gets to me is that she wont even admit it!”

CESS: “ It takes strength of character to do that. If she has that then she wont be a maid anymore. Unlike JING-JING the maid we had before.She returned a 500peso bill that she found downstairs …now that is strength of character! “

CESS:” Besides it’s just a crease. You shouldn’t freak out over it! “

FLIM: “ Werent you the one who admonished me about leaving WATCHMEN inside the car? “

CESS: “ Let me take a look at it. Its not so …yes it doesn’t look so good anymore! “

FLIM: “ LOOK AT THAT GIANT CREASE! RUNNING ON THE FRONT COVER!
It’s like you take care of it. You read it without opening the spine too much.
You know how difficult it is to do that. Then this IDIOT comes waltzing in
and within a space of a few minutes she destroys something that took you 12
years to take care of!

I fondled my mangled V FOR VENDETTA.

CESS: “ Don’t feel bad. I’ll buy you a new copy. It’s my father’s day gift to you.”

It was nice of her to do so. But we’re not just talking about another copy. I had this copy since 92. It has been my book for 12 years.

Then the words of an old teacher came back, “ THE UNIVERSE ABHORS PERFECTION.”

Indeed. The driver drenched my WATCHMEN copy. Now its wrinkled and stained.
Then that stupid maid mangled V FOR VENDETTA. One thing’s for sure domestic helps really hate ALAN MOORE.

FLIM: “ I’m not going to connect the cable tv downstairs anymore.”

For days now I have been trying to repair the cable connection to the tv downstairs so that the domestic help would have access to cable tv. It has been connected for such a long time now but recently the link kept slipping off. Me being a nice guy would go out of my way to try fixing the problem so that the DOMESTICS would have something to watch.

But now all the semblance of a nice guy quickly left me

FLIM: “ I’m not going to connect the cable tv downstairs anymore.”

Anyway when they didn’t have cable they just watch the shitty programs in channel 2. When we had the cable connected downstairs they still stuck on channel 2. But the reception became clearer. Well now…

IN THE WORDS OF THE IMMORTAL KHAN NOON SIGN ,

FLIM: “ LET THEM MEET STATIC! “