AND NOW MAY I PRESENT…. THE BACCHANTE….
I spent valentines night on a yacht in the middle of Manila bay with this humongous lesbian who was more muscular than yours truly, gyrating to the song ‘ SUZY Q” But Im getting ahead of my tale. It started with me having dinner with Cecile. We were wondering if we should catch a movie. But then common sense reeled its head and we just decided to buy a pirated DVD, which was better than the projected image. We had KANGKONG sautéed with garlic (Absolutely delicious) followed by YANG CHOW fried rice, some spicy spare ribs and an exquisite pork in sweet and sour sauce. We were ready to retire when I got a call from a friend asking me if I wanted to join them in a party aboard a yacht.

I wasn’t so keen about the idea but Cecile insisted that I should. Maybe something would happen that be worth writing about. I told her to come with me but she was too full to even get out of bed.

DB his wife and TOKS the mechanic picked me up in a dark corner. I was totally shocked when I saw Toks.Since I have known him years ago, he was in the last stages of balding . Now he has a bouffant the size of ALGERIA. I walked beside DB and whispered casually.

“ That’s not a rug is it? “

DB: “ Implants I think. Don’t’ stare at it for goodness sake! “

FLIM: “ Well you can’t blame me now can you? Last time I saw him he was bald, genetically! How much did it cost? “

DB: “ As expensive as a 1,200 cc motorcycle! “

FLIM: “ Damn! “

I spent the entire evening looking at it. I just can’t help myself. I think I like him better when he had that YUL BRYNEER look. No matter how far the quantum leap for hair reinstallment has gone, it still looks rather…. odd! Or is it that my logical mind just cannot accept that hair gone can ever be reborn again!

We reached the Yacht club and it was totally deserted. As we walked the creaky planks I feared that maybe there was no party and that DB and the mechanic owed somebody money and I would be in a middle of an ambush!

Later we discovered that the yacht already put out to sea. And we’d need a smaller barge to ferry us across. As we got down on the boat. The stench of Manila bay greeted me like an unwelcome creditor. It was totally disgusting I must say. If the yacht we were going to suddenly got hijacked I most certainly won’t jump off board. I’d just take my chances with the kidnappers.

As our small barge approached the Yacht from the port bow I saw a strange apparition. On top of the deck there was this huge figure dancing semi-naked to the sounds of some 50’s rock and roll song. The moon shining down upon it.

DB: “ Ok some primers before we set on board. Her names” Raffles AND SHE’S A LESBIAN. There would be five girls there and you can take chat with any of them except for the one in the tight half shirt. That’s her pussy. And no one touches her pussy and expects to live. She’ll throw the offender over board.”

FLIM: “ My type of man! “

RAFFLES: “ HEY GUYS COME ON BOARD! YEAH!!!!!! “

DB: “ I think she’s on he fourth bottle.”

FLIM: “ So you say.”

I was introduced to Raffy and I just can’t take my eyes off of her giant biceps. It’s bigger than mine! Firm hand grip too! We sat on the couch and started drinking. I wasn’t really in the mood to drink so I just nursed my gin and tonic and pretended to take sips from time to time.

Half way into the evening Raffy and her girlfriend went down-bow and the other girls started screaming.

GIRLS: “ CATFIGHT! CAT FIGHT! “

Raffy then waved gamely and told them to get lost.Then they had a karaoke-screaming match. The details were too horrible to recount here just take my word for it.

FLIM: “ I didn’t really notice how bad the bay smells. But then again I was always above the shoreline. Way above! “

Raffy then grabbed the microphone and started singing SUZY Q. Her massive bodybuilder arms waving and flapping , to punctuate the high notes.

RAFFY: “ cool valentine party right? “

FLIM: “ Ohhh absolutely! “

Then it sturck me. I was in the middle of stinking ocean on board a ship captained by a giant Lesbian who had too much to drink. I loved it! Besides Raffy’s a nice fellow and has a tremendous singing voice. We docked back at around 4 in the morning. Told Cecile about it and she said she was sorry she missed it.
CECILE: “ That must have been thrilling. Being in the ocean with a bunch of drunken women.”

FLIM: “ Not all of them were women…”