FISHING FOR A RETINA

Had to wake up early to accompany Cecile to the eye doctor for her RETINA SURGERY PART 2.We had to leave at 8. I was awake at 6 because Selina was howling in her sleep. Probably having nightmares after watching LEATHER FACE saw two guys in half in the classic TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. I watched the documentary THE BATTLE OVER CITIZEN KANE as I tried jump-starting the neurons in my head. I felt bad for WELLES. The only great and original director to come out of AMERICA and what does HOLLYWOOD do? They ostracize him. CITIZEN KANE is the one and true great American film. NOT STAR WARS! NOT JAWS! CITIZEN KANE!

I was so engrossed with t he documentary that I didn’t notice that it was already 8. Cecile comes in and takes one good look at me with my morning shorts on and tells me that she was going on ahead.

CECILE: “ We have to be there before 8:30. I don’t want to be patient number 3. You don’t have to accompany I’ll just go on ahead.”

I thought about not accompanying her. After all it’s just a couple of laser beams going ZAP! ZAP! And doesn’t even hurt. Technically it’s not surgery. But on second thought I WANT TO BE THERE! GIVE HER MORAL SUPPORT AND ALL. Maybe she’d need someone to hand her toothpicks and stuff.

I had to dress up fast and shut the player and grab the camera container (Might as well shoot some stock footages!) and my worn out copy of ALAN MOORE’S WATCHMEN. I rush down only to find the car already left!

I quickly scanned the streets and saw it rounding the corner. I started running and hollering

FLIM: “ WAIT FOR ME!!!!! “

They heard me after I ran four blocks.

FLIM: “ WHAT THE HELL! “( pant! pant! )

CECILE: ” I didn’t know that you could run so fast! “

She was lauging and giggling.I'm glad that I was able to be the source of amusement for a patient prior to having an operation.

FLIM: “ CAN IT WILL YOU! I JUST RAN FIVE BLOCKS! “

CECILE:” Well you could have caught up with us after the 3rd block if you lost more weight.”

FLIM: “ Very funny! I was lugging the heavy camera case and a heavy comic book! “

WE arrived at 8:30. But true to form MANG LITO the driver brought us to the wrong building.

FLIM: “ It’s the other building! The one before this!

MANG LITO: “ They all look alike! “

Once we got to the RIGHT BUILDING, Cecile runs into the entrance like the final dash of the 500-meter run so that she can win the title of NUMBAH 1 PATIENT. She really is determined to be on top.

I finished my morning race earlier on and I just casually walked out of the car and into the building. Then I saw her staring dumbfounded at the door of the clinic. There in a large sign.

ATTENTION TO ALL PATIENTS OF DR NAV. DR. NAV WONT BE COMING IN TODAY

FLIM: “ Well look at the bright side. You are numbah 1 pateint!"

Cecile goes inside.

CECILE: “ HOW COULD THIS BE? I was supposed to have my retina repaired! When did He cancel his appointments? “

SECRETARY: “ The doctor called this morning to cancel his appointments. He had an emergency. HAD TO FLY TO CEBU. But he will be back tomorrow”

FLIM: ” Yeah he had an emergency GOLF GAME.”

SECRETARY: “ Ahh.. Dr NAV does not play golf.”

FLIM: “ He’s off fishing then.”

CECILE: “ But he said that I should have my retinas repaired ASAP. That it could give out any moment. That’s why he scheduled this operation today! “

SECRETARY: Im sorry …”

FLIM: “ Apparently his fishing expedition is more important or your retina isn’t that much in danger of detaching as we HAVE BEEN LED TO BELIEVE! “

SECRETARY: “ If you want you can wait for DR NAVA’S SON IN LAW and he’ll check you up. But only DR NAVA will do the operation.’

FLIM: “ You mean his son in law didn’t accompany him fishing? He must not be the favorite SON IN LAW.”

Cecile: “ But what’s the point of waiting for him when he can’t do a thing.”

FLIM: “ He’s just going to look at your retina and say..” MY FATHER IN LAW is correct you must have a retina attachment session when he comes back… That would be 1,500 pesos please! NEXT! “

CECILE: “ What do you think? “

FLIM: “ I SAY, GET A SECOND OPINION “

Just then the door opens and a female patient pokes her head.

PATIENT 2: “ WHAT DO YOU MEAN DR NAVA ISN’T HERE?”

FLIM: “ WELCOME TO THE CLUB, MADAME!”

PATIENT 2: “ He told us just yesterday to come here so that he can check my MOTHER’S EYE because she needs immediate attention.”

FLIM: ” Not as immediate as an emergency game of golf.”

SECRETARY: “ Dr Nava does not play golf.”

FLIM: “ I know that! Just checking if you’re consistent! “

PATEINT: “ WE CAME ALL THE WAY FROM BANAWE! HE COULD HAVE HAD THE DECENCY OF INFORMING HIS PATIENTS! “

FLIM: " DAMN STRAIGHT!

SECRETARY: “ I m sorry…”

I sat down and read the papers as Cecile tried to think of what to do next. As I flip the pages. I stumbled across a report of…

FLIM: “ Hey Cess…check this out WHALE SHARKS OFF THE COAST OF CEBU. I bet the good doctor read this in the paper today and immediately packed his bags to go bag himself a WHALE FISH.”

CECILE: “ I don’t want to do the retina surgery with him anymore. I’m going to get a second opinion.”

So we left the office and took the ride home.

CECILE: “ Doctor’s don’t have any sympathy for their patients! “

FLIM: “ Well don’t blame them. I mean It’s hard to take someone whose disease put your son thru college seriously! I mean all patients are walking cash cows! You’d be shocked as to what they talk about when doctors are off on vacation.

DOCTOR: “ FORE! Damn I had this patient and she had this mild case of glaucoma and I had to tell her that it would take four weeks of treatment before it gets taken out.bought myself a home theater system with that!LIFE IS SOOOO GOOD!!!! ”

DOCTOR2: “ YOU BASTARD! I TOLD MINE I’D WOULD TAKE A WEEK!”

DOCTOR3: “ OH MY GOSH! I CURED MINE AFTER ONE SITTING! ‘

DOCTORS 1 & 2: ‘ IMBECILE! “

CECILE: “ I don’t want to go home yet. Let’s go to the mall.”

FLIM: “ Its only 8:45. Malls open at 10.”

CECILE: “ You could go shopping for your birthday. Pia IS ASKING WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.”

Its very nice of Cecile’s sister to asked. They have a cool tradition in Cecile’s family. They ask what the celebrant wants for their gift so that at least the celebrant gets what he wants and not the thing that'd force him to say.

CELEBRANT: “ WOW THANKS! THAT’S JUST WHAT I ALWAYS…( Moan! But hide it in tears of joy mode! )…Wanted.”

Hmmmm that’s a very good question. I racked my brains, thinking of an answer. What do I really want? A scanner SO I CAN POST MY COOL PICTURES OF THE BIKE AND THE SHOOTING IN PROGRESS? NO! That's a vanity enterprise! How about the hardbound ART OF THE ATTACK OF THE CLONES? No it’s an art book that I can read in a few minutes and then'it would be rendered useless and consigned to the bookshelf ,gathering dust. WHAT DO I REALLY NEED? A STEADICAM HARNESS… That’s hard to find here and it costs a bundle!

FLIM: “ I COULD SAY WORLD PEACE. But that’s not going to happen.I NEED A TRIPOD!

CECILE: “ Ok I’ll Tex her that and we can all pool in for your tripod.”

FLIM: “ OHH GREAT! THAT WOULD BE GREAT! IMAGINE I CAN FINALLY HAVE A TRIPOD THAT DOESNT LEAN TOWARDS THE RIGHT AND WOULD ACTUALLY HOLD THE BALANCE! Well let’s go to QUIAPO then so I can check out what tripod model I could find. And what are you going to do? “

CECILE: ”Buy two pairs of shoes with the money you gave me.”

FLIM: “ Knock yourself out!”

We arrived at QUIAPO and Cecile went off to SM QUIAPO to buy shoes.

I checked all the stores and came up with an ok tripod that costs 4,000 pesos.

I call Cecile up.

FLIM: “ Uhmmm the tripod I saw is around 4,000. I think it’s a little steep for a gift.”

CECILE: “ Nah its ok. We’re all going to pool in. But is that what you want? “

FLIM: “ well it’s fashionably black and looks cool but its rickety and the head doesn’t swivel smoothly. I’m not too sure.”

CECILE: “ Then pick up the one you like.”

I then looked all over and saw the best tripod they had. Well not the best the 2nd to the best. The best was 16,500. The 2nd to the best was the SLICK PRO 700 .And it cost 5,600.

FLIM: ‘ WELL I FOUND the one I like but….”

CECILE: “ Yes? “

FLIM: “ Its 5,600. It’s too much.”

CECILE: “ Yes you’re right. Well then choose the cheaper one.”

FLIM: “ Its rickety! I’ll think of something else. Did you buy your shoes? “

CECILE: “ Im still choosing.”

So I walked back to SM and thought about the tripod. I do NEED A NEW TRIPOD. The old one is extremely shitty! I long dreamt of doing a cool slow pan that would look exactly good and without any halts and stoppages! I thought about buying the tripod myself as a gift to myself. But then again there are bills to pay and the Internet payments are looming at the back of the corner. BUT THE TRIPOD IS ESSENTIAL TOO. I MEAN THAT’S THE LEG I STAND ON! From where Im standing it should be ALANGUILAN WHO SHOULD BE BUYING ME THE TRIPOD FOR STALLING THE SHOOTING OF WASTED! THAT DAMN IDIOT! IF ONLY I COULD PICKLE AND BOTTLE HIM, HE’D MAKE A GOOD CONVERSATION PIECE IN MY LOURVE!