Today I planned to make chili fired crabs. I ordered the maids to buy two kilos of the damn thing for a budget of 350. She comes back with six crabs in her hands. A measely six crabs. That wont even be enough for dinner.

MAID: “ Ser , everything is super expensive now! “

Yep … maybe the money they steal from us would go to that tsunami early warning device. I can see it now. The warning device would consists of a couple of benches facing the sea and you have two or maybe three idiots ( The president’s distant relatives) staring at the sea and munching junk food and collecting hefty paychecks while they ogle sexy joggers instead of doing their jobs.

I just hope when a TSUNAMMI hits that it will engulf the presidential palace and wash away that small idiot that resides inside. If one is too hope then lets make it spectacular! Wash the entire cabinet, make it a wet revamp!

Writing on this blog is more of a luxury than anything else. To sit down and write tons and tons of sentences costing time which is the most precious commodity. Money isn’t even in the same league. You can earn back the cents but never the time you lost!

I don’t relish the idea of traveling from one point to the other because if you stop and actually counted and catalogued the time you spent in traffic…you’d be shock to realize that its almost 1/4th of the day!

When I do travel, I have tons of books and storyboard papers inside the car. So when we do get in stuck in traffic…you could do some reading or drawing. Another thing is to record the audio commentaries in my DVD collection and play them when you’re in the car.

Its not enough to have them playing in the background while I edit…my attention gets divided!

RETURN OF THE KING EXTENDED EDITION

Got it before x mas. I was somewhat disappointed with the restored 50 minutes. I was expecting it to enhance the plotline or the characters, instead I’m treated to more GIMLI comedy routines that are forced and contrived!

But I’m a completist. So that’s that! The very same reason why I’m going to watch REVENGE OF THE SITH. I’m not betting that it is going to be good but I just want to get it over with.

Then again in the original trilogy the first two were very good while the last, RETURN OF THE JEDI, sucked! And since Lucas claims that he is working with symmetry…then he intentionally or unintentionally might make REVENGE OF THE SITH THE best film of the lot in the recent trilogy!

Now back to work….

TSUNAMMI WARNING DEVICE
The president did it again. Now she wants an early tsunami-warning device installed. She can’t even have the roads fix and the flood situation that happens almost every time it rains; now she wants a tsunami-warning device?

CESS: “ What’s the use of having it? When the Philippines is so small. The tsunami would just wash us away! “

FLIM: “ What do you mean? We’re far from the coastline aren’t we? “

CESS: “ Read the papers. The waters crossed several hundred miles in land! If a tsunami hits us… we’ll be engulfed! Why would she want an early warning device? So we can have a few hours to contemplate our deaths? “

FLIM: “ You totally miss the point! The warning device is for her so she can bolt out of the office and save her neck via helicopter or something!

The funny thing when you're rushing and trying to finish your work and your concepts and ideas are all jelling together seamlessly but there isn’t much time...the universe would look down and say.." LETS MAKE it MORE INTERESTING!

So the first thing that happens is POWER FAILURE! I'm not talking about one that would take out the entire city. Just your neighborhood. In fact three blocks!

Now the thing is ...I have foreseen that card. That’s why I invested in SURGE PROTECTORS and BACKUPS. So I get hit by the power failure. No problem. Switch in the back up power supplies.

Thinking that it would only last for a couple of minutes you sit down and enjoy the darkness and tap your fingers.

After the two thousandth tap you realize...that the universe is not only holding on to its cards close to its chest. Its playing for time. And as the minutes rolled by and start piling up to become hours...You hear the audible beeping of the power back ups slowly getting faster ...and then the imminent....BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

AND COMPLETE SHUTDOWN!

Ok I lost and the universe wins. What do I do? I leave the table and lie down on the bed. Reassigned to the fact that you did everything and just hope the next morning that you were able to save the data that you were working on before...

So you start working again.

This time you get nailed with a virus.

And its no ordinary virus. Its a virus that gets into and messes up your anti-virus and prevents you from accesing any on line anti-virus sites. Then it disables your firewall.

So kicking and screaming you take out the pc and start the long climb down to Calvary. In the shop you are told that the best way to deal with it is to reformat!

And you do! After three hours of installing which is the real bitchy part about reformatting you go home. Faster than a Japanese could ejaculate. You got the virus again!

And since the warranty of the repair covers a year. YOU HAUL THE DAMN BITCH AGAIN THE FOLLOWING MORNING!

I thought the AVG anti virus which is free and downloadable was going to be enough.
But I was told that it was free! And a free anti-virus wont protect you or is not capable of protecting you 100 hundred percent.

I don’t know why the local and foreign government is so lax when it comes to dealing with THE SICK FUCKS WHO MAKE THESE VIRUSES! BUT IF IM ELECTED INTO ANY GOVERNMENT POSITION THE FIRST THING IM GOING TO WORK ON IS TO PASS A LAW TO HAVE THEM SUMMARILY EXECUTED ON LIVE PUBLIC ACESS TV. After they have been castrated and their balls fed to the pets of people whose lives they have screwed up with.

I remember a few years ago when some geek I knew read in the papers that the guy who made this virus, which screwed up a lot of pcs, was a Filipino. And he said that he found that is cool. That a Filipino can create a virus that was world renown.

And I remember telling that IDIOT, THAT It was that kind of thinking, THAT FUCKS UP The WORLD!

Yeah be cool and popular by doing something that's destructive. Oh sure its cool to disrupt a multi-media conglomerate by hacking or corrupting their data system. OH yeah they can afford to have a system reformat and they have a squad of computer geeks whose job it was to do those kinds of things. But what about the average Joe. The one who just works on his pc to finish the work he wasn’t able to do in the office because he wanted to spend some quality time with the kids and would rather work home and see them play than in the office where pc nerds and mutants rule.

Then the virus destroys that data!

Or what about the housewife who does her budget on her computer…then WHAMMO!

I told that idiot that that SHIT HEAD virus making fuck HEAD! Should have gotten the electric chair!

He should have been made to walk in between two lines of all the people whose pcs were infected. Of course, they are all armed with wooden bats and steel pipes.

I told that idiot that he is probably the same type of person who thinks DRUG PUSHERS are cool! Yes idolize and emulate these fucking criminals! Because that’s what they are!

At least the original drug pusher is trying to make a living. I mean selling drugs out in the streets is not a thing that a person who thinks that it’s cool to be a drug pusher would do

Dealing with six year old kids and dirty cops would be too ‘ UNCOOL for them.

These poseurs would be found in warehouse parties and some street event organized by some popular telecom company.

Same thing applies to these virus makers!

In a party they ‘d say, “ YEAH I was the one who made that WORM that screwed up the computers on the western coast…yeah that’ s me.”

And those in attendance would nod their heads and say collectively,

‘ WOW that’s cool! “

Of course the anti-virus companies have a thing to say about this. When a hacker or virus maker is caught the first thing that happens is that he is imprisoned for a short time. And for him that’s the cool period. His face would be on the papers and his friends and neighbors would say “ WOW that’s cool”

Then the anti virus people would come in and offer him lucrative contract. Of course they need this fuck! Anti virus companies would be nothing without these guys! What’s to protect our pcs from without any viruses?

See the hackers and the virus makers wont propagate without the generous patronage of the anti-virus companies.

You can’t touch the virus makers just yet… but we can screw the anti-virus companies. Don’t buy their legal software…Read in between the dots!

Doesnt she look good on my dvd shelf.Yeah babby! Yeah!It arrived in between my hard drive computer fuck up! The only ray of sunshine in an otherwise drab and shitty world of computer techs!

This was the only thing that kept me sane while waiting for my pc to get fixed! the only thing that prevented me from ripping out the troat of that idiot tech.

The packaging is lushious! But the dvds are incredible.Footages of teh NEW HOPE has been retimed and colorized.

CESS: " Wait a minute. Is that Tatooine? "

FLIM: " They altered the colour schemes. You can do anything nowadays! "

CESS: " Can you move it to my favorite scene? "

Cess's favorite is the moment when Luke Skywalker came out of the settlement and just stared at the twin suns of tatooine after a brief arguement with UNCLE Owen. She loves that moment because it vividly illustrates the hopes of every young teenager.The longing for something more that they have at the moment.

CESS: " Oh my gosh! LOOK AT THAT! "

The scene has also been altered.

CESS: " BY re-colouring and making it more pretty he destroyed the entire essence of it all. Look at that! Tatooine originally was bleak and hot.The original photography showed it when the background was washed out.Now he made it look gloosy and beautiful. Now why would LUKE SKYWALKER want to leave such a gorgeous place like that."

I told her to pipe down I was trying to enjoy this expensive dvd purchase.

CESS: " Just because you have the technology to alter things doesn tmean that you should.Something gets lost."

FLIM: " Well look at it this way. When Lucas made STAR WARS It was a terrible experience for him. Everything wasnt working and the crew rebeled against him because they thought he didnt know what he was doing.MAybe this remastering and altering is a cathartic experience for him. It's giving the finger on the crew and the technology at the time. All the pent up resentments that He had is unleashed by eradicating everything in the past.

CESS: " But the film that came out of it was good. Not this...."

She points at the screen.

Of course she was right. Something was lost. Now the film is too sleek and too glossy.The versimilitude( to borrow RICHARD DONNER's term) was lost.One can argue that it is a galaxy far far away but still certain rules of realities apply. Like when you get shot point black by a gun or blaster you get BURNT to CINDER! Ask Greedo.Who cares if he fired first.I dont.Initially I was all fired up when I first saw it. But now I just shrug my shoulders. I didnt complain when I saw the new cgI JABBA which is a different version from the 99 theatrical release of the special edition NEW HOPE. Someone must create a logging file for the different versions of STAR WARS now surfacing for us ,the normal fans to keep tabs on.Like the STAR WARS OT ( Original theatrical release) And then there's the NH variant when he added episode 4 THE NEW HOPE, which is the tackiest title that one can come up with. FROM STAR WARS it sinks to THE NEW HOPE. I dont see anyone lining up with a title like that! But when you made the most succesful film in history ,you can retitle it the BIG GIVE and no one would care.

And then there's the STAR WARS SP. SPECIAL EDITION when he inserted JABBA in the NEW HOPE. aND NOW THERE'S THE JABBA DVD.Where he completely changed thE digitized JABBA in 1999 into another digitized JABBA with a slight variation on teh cowl colour.I think it was an improvement. But the real beef that I have with was when I slipped RETURN OF THe JEDI. There was a nice re touching of SEBASTIAN SHAW's face when teh vader helm was removed. They erased that ridicolus eye brush makeup. Now he seems more sympathetic.When I first saw him in the theatrical release i thought thateye brow makeup I thought no wonder he hid in that helmet for years.He was QUEER SITH LORD.

It was when I came to the ending. When I realized that all teh rumours were true. that Lucas had replaced SEBASTIAN SHAW 'S force shade with HAYDEN.NOW THAT'S TOO MUCH!I dont care how much he would rationalize it.THAT PLAIN SUCKS!

I know he is tying all the loose threads together so that past trology would tie in neatly into the new one. But this is too much!

I remember reading somewhere that one fan commented on ,what Goerge lucas said which was that STAR WARS the 1977 release what was not what he really intended to be and the special editions is the vision he had all along.

" So him making a classic film was purely accidental.He makes crappy films all along."


A friend of mine told me that he found it hard to believe how can see threepio and d2 not know kenobi after what they went thru in the new trilogy when they meet each other again in the old trilogy.Its simple.Memmory erasures in anchorhead.But hayden in the original trilogy? here I am yapping again. Give it another month viewing and I wouldnt even notice it anymore.That's a form of desynthesizing.How else could we cope with the shit the government is heaping on us right?


Oh by the way if you have seen the photo of our president in the newspaper. You'd notice she gained a lot of pounds.There's something that must be said about a leader who gains weight when the rest of the nation starves to death! Dont you agree?

My Motorcycle and my computer form a symbiote relationship.A year ago they broke down a couple of days after each other.I dont really remember which broke down first ...but what the fuck does it matter. They both broke down anyways.

So I wasnt surprised when the computer broke down two weeks after the motorcycle. In fact I just shrugged my head and hauled the 70 pound equipment to the repair shop.As I stressed in the first blog entry a year ago, its a monster machine to carry from three floors down to two floors up and then reverse that!

When the system cannot find drive:d,I was in a panic because that's where I store my edited files. So I quickly backed it up.I consulted an in - law who happens to be a computer tech.He informed me that he problem solves computers and for 1,000 bucks he would do an analysis.

When I asked for a free consultation he gave me a slip-shod advise.When I asked for a more detailed consulation he wanted to charge me with the full amount.I told him that he hoped to god I don't come across him , bleeding in the highway or in need of help somewhere because I WON'T RAISE A FUCKING FINGER TO HELP HIM UNTIL I GET A CONSULTATION FEE!I ALSO told my sister, the pathologist who also doubles as a physian that whenever that in law would need her advise...that she should charge a consultation fee.

I then asked my wife's sister who also dabbles in pc repair for fun if she could check out the pc. She said that I should bring it to her office for her to take a look see.No consultation fee of 1,000 pesos was uttered.I figured I 'd just take her to lunch for helping out.

But since her office is just a few steps away from the pc shop, I told myself maybe I should just bring it to the shop instead of bothering her.Fixing up comps is not her real job and I might be intruding in her day job which is real estate.And instead of paying a consultation fee to my -in law,I'd go to a place where if there is a problem ..then they would have the resources and the spare parts to repair them.

I hauled it back to the shop where I had the system assembled.The tech pulled this wire and this and that! Turns out that the jumpers were mixed up.He also did a memory check. Drive d is ok he said.Just the jumpers.

Hard drives have a very limited life span.You'd be lucky if your's reached four years. Nowadays the manufacturer's motto is quantity over quality!

I was looking on 5oo pesos for consultation and repair fee and the system check up. WHICH TOTALLY IS CHEAPER THAN the I consult for 1,000 fee guy!

Then we discovered that drive c which holds all my system files is the one in danger of going KAPUT!

I told the tech if we replaced drive c what would happen to all the installed programs. He said not to worry because there is a program that would just transfer and not copy the files.

So I rushed to have my yen changed to peso and plucked out a sizeable amount of money and changed the hard drive.

When I got home my back was aching like hell.But the hard work is done. All I need to do is to dive at the back of the editing systems and squish my way thru a small path at he back of teh viewscreens to re-attach the wires and cables.Then I opened the air con and just sit back and streched my legs.Ahh...

Then Joe called and asked how the pc repair went. I told him that I had my hard drvie changed to this particular brand.He said that the brand I bought was defective. He bought the same brand and in 3 days , his hard drive concked out.

Of course that had to happen. I mean I was sitting there, relaxing myself.Feet up and the cool air conditioning cooling my back and he tells me that I got a bad hard drive.A brand new defective brand name hard drive.

When I was in the shop I asked for a particular brand that I knew was good. But unfortunately they didnt have it in 40 gig. So I had to settle with this other brand. That they said was also good.

I called the computer tech again and asked if I could have my hard drive replaced with this particular brand.

They said that its possible because they now have one.

I asked when did it arrive.

Just a few hours ago when I left.

FUCKING TYPICAL!

So I told them that I would..............sigh...........bring back the pc and have the present hard drive changed to that particular brand.

AFter putting down the phone I took a deep breath and started to disconnect the cables again. I had to controt my body in more difficult positions that would shame a yogi, just to reach the cables.

Then I made a phone call to my tech guy. I said that I was going to replace the hard drive with another brand. When I told him what brand he said that he prefered that one as well.

Typical.

But he said that there might be any harddrive with that brand.

I began to get irritated. I told him that I just called their supply section. So i talked to the supply guy whp assured me that he already reserved the hard drive for me.

So BRING THE DAMN PC TO THE DAMN SHOP, TAKE TWO! But this time the sun wasnt shining. It was raining like hell. Of course why shouldnt it be raining!I was amazed that a flashflood didnt hit us when we approached the shop.

When I got there . The hard drive was changed and we began transfering the operational programs. They have this cool way of transfering th eoperating system from one hard drive to the other without haveing to reinstall everything!

Everyone who operates a computer knows what an absolute thrill it is to reinstall every program you have. Its the equivalent of repeating grade four, over and over again!

But this cool process does away with that. I asked the tech guy if we were just copying and pasting the files. he said that it wasnt like that. It was transfering!

After the process was completed. We tested the pc. First shut off and rebooth was good.later the dvd rom developed a conflict with the other drives when it was boothing. So we ad to re arrange the os.

We fixed that.Back in the editing room, as i switched it on , it went smoothly. but the second re booth. It failed to detect I DONT KNOW WHICH HARD DRIVE IT WAS!

Five days later , the system cant detect one of teh hard drvies again. So i hauled it back to the shop.

We changed the old hard drive and replaced it with another and NOW THERE'S STILL THE SAME FUCKING PROBLEM! I glared at the tech guy who fixed it the last time.He asked somebody else to take over. While the other guy was fiddling with it. A thought occured to me.Maybe the hard drive that he said was going kaput wasn't even KAPUT!Maybe he's just a bad repair guy.

So when a system check was being done on my pc, I took out the old hard drive and had it anaylzed.True enough,it wasnt even malfunctioning and there was no bad sector.

I constantly assured them that I would need it as a another hard drive for my other pc so they can accurately scan it. If they thought that I was on a witch hunt then they wil close ranks and protect their erring colleague.

So the truth came out . The hard drive was sound and stable!

And what made that gymp think that there's a problem? He heard a knocking sound on the hard drive.Amazing scientific analysis. A knocking sound. which can be attributed to a hundred things.

This guy should work for NASA.Then it would be easy to pin point what the problem was on the next challenger disaster!

Now the new guy tells me that the problem with the pc could be the motherboard or the memmory. Memmory ?Cant be! We ran a memmory check the last time. If its the motherboard then ASUS is the worst motherboard on EARTH! BECAUSE ITS ONLY BEEN TWO YEARS SINCE I REPLACED THE OTHER MOTHER BOARD THAT ALSO CONCKED OUT AFTER TWO YEARS AND ITS ALSO A MOTHERFUCKING ASUS!

TECH: " I realy cant tell what the problem is. The only way we can go about it is to isolate the matter. "

FLIM: " In laymans term. The pc is working now. But I should always have the car standing by because there might be another conk out."

TECH smiles.

FLIM: " Well at least when I haul this pc back to the car I wont have that we're safe, its fix feeling. Actually its worst. Assuming its fixed and then finding out it still has a problem than knowing that its temporarilty fix but there might still be a problem.

Some days you can never really win.

It started out with a simple morning ride. I took out the motorcycle and started to clean her up.I reached out thru those deep crevices of the engine block. The smelly and oily canyons of her swing arm. when I got to the cooling jet pipes I noticed a thin film of rust there. So what did I do I started rubbing it out.

Then I took her out and wore my new riding apparel.

After the first ten minutes, the cooling system delevoped a leak.So there was a large jet of green fluid sprouting on the left side of the bike, drenching my leg. Totally drenching my leg.The discomfort of a wet leg while going at 120 miles was increased due to the cold air that whipped around me.

And when I stopped the bike, the leak would spray anything and anyone within a 6 feet radius! When I checked where the leak was comming from...it was from the spot where I cleaned the rust off!

ARGGGHHHHH. Moral of the lesson, dont over clean... NO! The moral of the lesson...FUCK THERE'S NO MORALITY HERE!

I decided to take it to my old mechanics new repair shop. AS i dressed myself with my usual riding apparel which the above photo shows. i told myself that I wont wear my exquiste riding booths since my leg would be fully drenched anyway.But that was nothing compared to the prospect of spending the entire afternoon in a repair shop with a wet leg.

I told myself what the fuck...So when I got on the bike and ignited teh engines the familiar jet stream goes up.After five minutes the sensation of a wet leg started to irritate me. Twenty minutes into the trip, cab drivers would hail me and say...

" SOMTHING'S COMMING OUT FROM YOUR BIKE..."

YEAH, YEaH YEAH! ITS THE LINDA BLAIR MORNINg JUICE!

Now when I got to the aurora intersection, I jumped out of the bike...well nearly.
The cold coolant liquid turned into a steaming killsoup!It burned my left leg!

SHIT! Now how the fuck am I supposed to bring it to the shop? The left leg is the one I use to control the shift gears with. So I did a little improvisational driving. I lifted my left leg up the handle bar to avoid getting hit by the hot steaming coolant juice and would only bring it down when i need to shift gears!

I did this for like 40 minutes. when I reached the shop I nearly collapsed from exhaustion. And this was just the start of the week.



Just came from a toy hunting expedition and these are the only things I have to show for.I didn’t make it to the opening melee when the boxes of marvel legends arrived but from what I heard it was a feeding frenzy! A woman was elbowed in the face when the boxes were being opened by over zealous collectors who do not care for the life or limb of their kind. Her high heels went flying as she plummeted face down on the toy department floor.

Not one of the male collectors helped her in fact they even got the toys that she sheld and dashed to the cashier!

But what do you expect? TOY Collectors are known to be more savage than crocodiles or snakes! They are as greedy and inhumane as any politician you would bump into!
Collectors would grab more than one item and would snicker when you get there late and Not get the chase figure. Not only that they bring their girlfriends with them so that sorry fuck type is multiplied by 2.

You should see how the normal kids who tried buying their toys, fare! But then again just like what NIETZCHE said, that which does not kill you makes you stronger!

I have lost the passion for collecting when getting what you want means sinking to the same level as these spiritless bastards!

I don’t go to the toy conventions anymore. Its because its WHERE ALL THOSE SICK FUCKING BASTARDS CONGREGATE AND BRANDISH THE TOYS THEY AQCUIRED BY KICKING, STEALING AND ELBOWING their way to the boxes!

Then they grin their satanic teeth caps as you look at their collection. An invisible word balloon hovering over their heads saying, “ HEHEHE, I GOT MY CHASE DARK PHOENIX FIGURE AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS JUST STARE AT IT! “

My word balloon on the other hand would be, “ WELL I DATED AND HAD MORE BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIENDS THAT YOU WOULD EVER HAVE. IN FACT THAT’S THE REAL PROBLEM ISNT IT? YOU CAN’T GET A GOOD LOOKING GIRL SO YOU JUST WACK OFF UNDER THE SHADOW OF THAT DARK PHOENIX VARIANT! FUCK YOU! “

In the toy collectors website the Filipinos are known and called GREEDY BASTARDS when it comes to hoarding! With what I have seen that is definitely true. But there are exceptions.

When I came in late, I was looking for a JUGGERNAUGHT and I bumped into RICHARD another collector.
RICHARD: “ You’re late, man! “

He was clutching a JUGGERNAUGHT.

FLIM: “ FUCK I SHOULDN’T HAVE HANGED OUT IN THE BASEMENT I SHOULD HAVE GONE STRAIGHT HERE.”

RICHARD: “ What are you looking for anyway? “

FLIM: “ I’m looking for a dead pool and a JUGGERNAUGHT! “

Then I saw a guy clutching two dead pools that leered at me and then started running to the cashier like a thief who just stole his grandmother’s oxygen tank to pawn it off!

RICHARD: “ That asshole got the last two! Anyway here take mine! “

He then offers me his JUGGERNAUGHT!

FLIM: “ Uhm thanks. But what about you? “

RICHARD: “ I got mine already. I was just shopping and I saw these two juggernaughts. What else are you looking for? You want to get CARNAGE? I have one here. “

Carnage is a very rare figure from the SPIDERMAN action figure series.

FLIM: “ Ughh… I don’t think I like that figure. No thanks.”

RICHARD: “ Trust me. Get this. You might need it next time…to trade with…”

So I reluctantly took the carnage.

FLIM: “ Its not that I’m not grateful but why are you giving up these rare toys? “

RICHARD: “ I got two already in the house and I don’t really need more. Besides I don’t like to see collectors arriving late and then having this expression on their faces like” Ohm the train left without me.” I believe that collectors should always help each other get the toys that they like. With out any profit… “

We chatted for a few minutes and then he went off and started helping the other latecomers get the toys that they missed. Too bad no more dead pool or juggernaughts.

DIGTAL CAM
Cess and I have been arguing on what kind of digital camera to buy. I was gunning for the high end one but she said that it was too bulky for her to lug around. I swore that I would be her black African porter and I’ll carry them baggages if we get the high end bulky one. Cess countered with the small is better.

FLIM: “ Digital cameras are not like cellfones. SMALLER isn’t better! In fact the smaller the camera is the shittier the picture they take. Remember when they had instamatics? Well those are instamatics! LETS GET THE BIG ONE!

CESS: “ I just want one that would fit in my bag! “

FLIM: “ Well if it’s that small then it might fit in anyone’s bag! IN FACT THEY CAN FIT IN ANYONES BAG THAT YOU Can easily leave them on a café table or a comic book counter and then someone else with a bigger bag than yours would waltz in there and fit it in their bags.”

CESS: “ And I wouldn’t want to lug something that big if we do go out of the country! “

FLIM: “ They have porters outside the country! “

CESS: “ Let me think! “

In the end we compromised. And we got something that was a little too big but not that big!

THE MANY FACES OF SELINA



KEY MASTER


THE RELUCTANT STUDENT


I always carry a set of 29 keys. Keys that open several cabinets full of books, dvds and my rare toys. It also carries the key to the viewing room. Selina always petsers me in the afternoon to watch her favorite programs. Which are … SOUTHPARK, FUTURAMA, WALLACE AND GROMIT,SHERCKS 1 & 2.

I was in the john that particular time and she kept bugging me to open the viewing room.
So I gave her the ring with 29 keys and I told her to open it herself. Then I closed the door.

As I read while waiting for the call of nature I suddenly heard a sound.

CLICK!

Which was followed by another sound that of the viewing door opening. I immediately open the bathroom door and saw her as she came in.

FLIM: “ How the hell did you find the key to the viewing room? “

I took her aside and locked the door again. I then gave her the set of keys. She took them and inspected each and every one of them. Until she came to the actual key …then and only then did she push it into the keyhole and opened the door.

I don’t leave my keys hanging around for her to inspect so I was totally floored!

AMAZING!

RELUCTANT STUDENT

Cess was tutoring Selina with her day lessons. And her way of giving the kid some initiative is to bribe her with powerpuff girl stickers.

CESS: " Selina do your assignment! "

SELINA: " NO!I DONT LIKE! "

CESS: " If you do your assignment ...I will give you two powerpuff stickers! "

Selina strokes her cheek and looks at her mom.

SELINA: " Show me the stickers first!"

THE RETURN OF DICKHEAD



Surprise, surprise. The SEXMEN are coming back! I originally came up with their first adventure when we were editing my first tv series.My drawings were rough because it was just meant to be a storyboard for a flick. I added the word ballons to serve as a script guideline.
Then I thought, No way can this be done effectively without the major backing of a studio and no studio would ever back this up. Then just turn this into a comic book.

I then drew part 2 and part 3.

My drawing style with 2 and 3 was different from the first one because on both of them I used thumbnail sketches and I preplanned the page layouts.On Issue 1 I just drew them in storyboard form. More concerned about the story and the flow of the action.

When I finished 2 and 3, I then set out to print issue 1.But I just cant print issue 1 with the existing pages. They were very rough drawings on a bond paper with blue ink. I had to re-draw them and make them more ...nicer.

But when I saw the finished pages it just didnt seem to fit the seat of the pants storyline that I made. The drawing was too studied and limting for me. So I re-drew them again and tried to get the original rough look of the first draft in.

When issue one came out. I was heavily critized by some illustrators on my drawing style.Of course the concept of a comic book having a story and it playing a major part in the package was lost to them. But hey, different strokes for different folks.

Anyway I just set out to tell THE SEXMEN stories and if it infuriates a lot of people well thats the cherry on top.

I was realy surprised when it sold well.

I figured my market would be the 20 or 30 somethings who would be young enough to get what I was doing. The real shocker was when I was hanging out in Mike's comicshop and this distunguished gentleman wearing a suit and accompanied by his wife came to the store and went up to the saleslady.

GENTLEMAN: " HIja, Do you already have the copy of SEXMEN 2

( In the backcover of SEXMEN 1 I naively announced that I was comming out with #2 after one month.)

The saleslady cupped her mouth and began to snicker and then She pointed to me.

SALESLADY: " Why dont you ask him? He made it! "

The gentleman then walked towards me. And then extended his hand.

GENTLEMAN: " HIJO, I LOVE YOUR COMIC! I AM A FAN! "

I was shocked because... he was...well...he's ...mature.

FLIM: " Oh thank you. Uhh dont you find that sort of thing ..offensive? "

GENTLEMAN: " NO! IT'S FUNNY! IT'S VERY FUNNY! YOU HAVE A SICK SENSE OF HUMOR!GIANT MONSTER VAGINAS! You're a very naughty boy."

Then this lady pulled alongside of him and tapped his arm.

WOMAN: " Well Is it in yet ? "

Gentleman roars with laughter.

GENTLEMAN: " No its still here, sweet heart."

He then taps the front of his pants.

She blushes.

GENTLEMAN: " THis is my wife. Sweetheart, this is the boy who made SEXMEN."

She shakes my hand.

GENTLEMAN: " That comic book did wonders to our sex life. So when is it coming out ? "

FLIM: " Oh... as soon as I recover eh costs of the first one."

GENTLEMAN: " Here's my card. Give me a call when it comes out. I'm a fan."

I took the card. He's an executive at the ASIAN DEVELOPMENT BANK.

GENTLEMAN: " We have to go. Keep it up."

Well that made my day. When young people tell me they love it, I thank them and it feels good to know that your work affects people. But when the older set crowd tells you that they love your stuff. Then it means that your work has crossed a barrier that is something more difficult to bridge than nationality. The AGE GAP!

There was a long PAUSE from #1 TO #2. I'll detail those sad events some other time.Its a dark tale of betrayal and of sinister forces at work and would make for a great telling.And I had to abandon issue 2 and 3. I meet people who'd ask me what happened to issue 2 and I cant reply with a single answer.I told myself that 2 and 3 might be a story that would never be told.But...
you can't put a HARD MAN down...

And the best part is that there will be A SEXMEN MOVIE.The full details to follow.

So on to the second coming of THE SEXMEN.

Now if only I could find where I placed that calling card.

Just arrived from Alabang after doing the rough cut for the MOJO FLY video I directed two weeks ago. Jay, my editor picked me up from my place thru the driving rain because I couldn’t have ridden the bike it was raining and it would have been a bitch to clean up after wards. It was the driver’s day off so no car.

In the editing room we ordered a large thin crust and some fried potatoes and 4 bottles of beer. The first two was very cold…and nice. The latter ones were the stucked in the bodega type so you need lots of ice.

I kept piling up the list of post –production stuff I wanted done. Jay’s eyes glazed over.

JAY: “ That’s going to be bloody! You move the camera too much.

FLIM: “ But if it’s easy, where’s the fun in that? “

The best part about being an editor myself is that you don’t have to go thru the usual crap that lazy editors would give you. The ‘ it cant be done or we don’t have the program to do that shot. “ Or if you have to go thru that then you can counter with,” Get off that chair and I’ll do it myself! “

It began as I said two weeks ago when I was lounging around bibliotech during those rare moments when I can just relax and read the sealed books they have on display when my phone rang.

JAY: “ I want you to direct a MOJO FLY video.”

FLIM: “ Shouldn’t I be preparing for that cable series.”

JAY: “ There would be plenty of time for that.”

Initially the treatment Jay gave me (He’s also the producer) was the band driving around in a top down car and some rose garden or was it fields.

FLIM: “ NO WAY am I going to be involved in a top down drive by band playing their instruments, music video! Every generic band has done that to death! I want complete freedom with whatever treatment I do decide to shoot! “

JAY: “Dude, that’s why I want you, Give me your treatment as soon as I send you the cd.”

FLIM: “ I don’t need to listen to the song. I’ll give you this treatment.”

Funny enough He didn’t object to my treatment and neither did the band. HEHEHE Now let’s have some fun!

We had a 2 cam set up. One was locked and the other one, I hand held. Saved a lot of time for the set-up. The shoot was relatively easy. The props were very simple. There was a lot of cutting and pasting and stringing stuff and materials along. It was a simple set up.
Its the assembling and the parring down of the footage that’s the trick.

The funny part about all this is the music video is for a love song. Go figure!

Cess had the bright idea of buying advance tickets to the SPIDERMAN2 showing.

FLIM: “ Why? “

CESS: “ I don’t want to line up and then be late with the first few minutes of the movie because of the length of people queuing. Remember HARRY POTTER 3? “

FLIM: “ UGH How can I forget that terrible movie. Fine! “

So she goes over the ticket seller.

CESS: “ If we buy this ticket we wont have to fall in line to buy our tickets, right? We can go straight in.”

TICKET SELLER: “ Yes, mum. Its Hassle free.”

CESS: “ We want to watch it at …”

FLIM: “ Cinema 1. The projectors there are in good condition.”

Ever wonder why at certain parts of the movie the images are clear and then it goes hazy? Or when the images are very bright and then suddenly they go dark. That happens when the 2 projectors are not properly calibrated. Or they’re too old to be fixed. Or the projection lamp on projector 2 needs to be changed but they wont because it’s too expensive? Well those are the reasons. Choosing what theater to watch a movie in is very important.I already made a mental map of which theaters have very good projectors and those that don’t. I can remember how many times I turned down watching a film with friends because their choice in theaters are abysmal.

TICKET seller: “ YES YOU CAN WATCH AT CINEMA 1.”

FLIM: “ Great lets buy em! “

CESS: “ Now we wont have to line up with the hordes of people tomorrow when the film opens. Remember this is the only foreign film that will open against the sea of local films. ”

FLIM: “ Meaning? “

CESS: “ People are starved for good entertainment. You think they love watching those terrible Filipino films? Of course they will gorge themselves on SPIDERMAN 2 tomorrow.”

The following morning there is a huge typhoon. Even the weather hates the president whose oat taking is costing the nation, 5 MILLION PESOS!

FLIM: “ You know I was thinking. If there were a lot of people who bought the advance tickets so they wont line up then there will certainly be a line for them too.”

CESS: “ That won’t happen if the screening starts at 10. The mall opens at 10. But I’d better call them up and ask what time the screening starts.”

She comes back a few minutes later.

CESS: “ The screening is at 11:40.”

FLIM: “ By that time there will be a line for people who also bought the advance tickets.”

CESS: “ I think we better leave now.”

FLIM: “ Don’t you find this ironic? We bought the advance tickets so we wont have to line up with the rest of the rabble and now we have to hurry so we would be first in line with the people who don’t have to line up to get their tickets.”

CESS: “ Ohh, just get dress will you? “

We got to ROBINSONS at 10:15 and true enough there is a massive line outside the theater. I walk over the ticket seller and flash our tickets like a badge of courage.

FLIM: “ We don’t have to line up with these guys right? We can just walk in.”

TICKET SELLER: “ Oh yes sir.”

FLIM: So what time do you sell the tickets? “

TICKET SELLER: “ At 11 sir.”

So we hang out in front of the entrance. As the minutes tick I felt good that Cess came up with the plan. A group of ten people line up behind us. They too bought the advance tickets. The line of people buying tickets begun eyeing us with suspicion. Probably thinking why we don’t have to fall in line with them. When the usher comes in front of us, I show him the ticket

USHER: “ Sir this is only for cinemas 5 and 6. Not for cinema 1.”

Cess looks distraught.

CESS: “ Oh no.”

FLIM: “ So much for hassle free.”

Then I trained my guns on the usher. I love his cocky face as he delivered that news tidbit.I then drew a very deep breath.

And …

I let him have it.

FLIM: “ WHAT DO YOU MEAN CINEMA 5 AND 6? THE TICKET SELLER ASSURED US THAT THIS IS FOR CINEMA 1.”

USHER: “ Sorry sir this is for cinema 5 and 6.”

FLIM: “ I’M NOT GOING TO FALL IN LINE AGAIN! WE BOUGHT THIS TICKETS IN ADVANCE SO IT WONT BE HASSLE FREE. THAT WAS YOUR TAG LINE RIGHT?

Usher: “ Ok SIR. We will check with the manager.’

CESS: “ How can they do this? “

I turned around and looked at the line of advance ticket buyers.

FLIM: “ Can you believe this? They won’t let us in! THEY SAID our tickets are for CINEMA 5 AND 6.”

The crowd just looks at me. What a bunch of Zombies! I was expecting some kind of uproar. But all they did was scratch their heads and clenched their popcorns closer their breasts!
By this time the ticket booth started to sell tickets and the people who were lining up were coming in.

CESS: “ Look. They’re already letting people in. And we’re stuck here.”

FLIM: “ Hey! “

The usher comes back.

USHER: “ Sorry sir. They will let the two of you in. We just have to wait for our word from the manager.


FLIM: “ WERE NOT ONLY 2. HOW ABOUT THESE GUYS THEY BOUGHT THEIR TICKETS TOO! “

I then turned around and looked at the people behind me.

FLIM: “ COME ON GUYS! YOU SHOULD FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHTS AS CONSUMERS! “

But they just stood there quiet and scratching their heads while some ate their popcorns.

The usher comes back

USHER:” Sir can you go to the office and talk to the manager…

A guard in uniform started to postion himself in front of the usher and the entrance.

FLIM: IM NOT GOING TO THE OFFICE AND IM NOT GOING TO THE MANAGER. THIS ISNT OUR PROBLEM THIS IS A MANAGEMENT PROBLEM! COME ON CESS WERE GOING IN! “

Cess was hesitant to go in.But I grabbed her arm and I pushed the guard aside.WE then walked inside. i didn teven bother to give them a second look if they would follow us in to stop us

CESS: “ I can’t believe you just did that? They might arrest us!”

FLIM: “ The hell they will. They’re too flabbergasted to even react! We paid for our tickets! LET MANAGEMENT FIGURE IT OUT! “

CESS: “ We’re actually in! “

We picked the best seats in the house. Which is four rows in the back. Cess cannot watch if the seats are too near the screen. She has this eye problem. So whenever we watch we sometimes have to separate because seats in the back are very rare to come by.

After sitting. Cess starts to laugh on how we made a clean getaway.A 20 minutes later the film has not started yet and Someone from the the back chair leans forward and talks to me.

STUDENT: “ They finally let us in.”

He is one of the people who bought the advance tickets.

FLIM: “ Why did it take you that long to get in? “

STUDENT: “ After you came in, we tried to follow you but the guard started pushing us back. You are right. We should be more assertive with our rights as a consumer!”

Anyway there we were with a large cool drink and some ruffles cheese and garlic potatoes chips. Hoping that this movie is worth the aggravation.

CESS: “ When we exit can we just run past them.”

FLIM: “ Why are we going to run? We didn’t do anything wrong. In fact I’m going to go over the usher and have him stamp my arm! Just for fun! “


The film was worth the earlier skirmish. I love SPIDERMAN2. I didn’t like the first spidey flick. I thought it was blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. A BIG NOTHING! The green goblins mask was really bad and WILLIAM DAFOE was a big reject from the JACK NICHOLSON School for COMIC roles.

I also found the first one very bland for a SAM RAIMI film. Like he directed the film with two restraining bolts welded on his neck. I have been a fan since I saw the first EVIL DEAD film. Even CRIME WAVE, which was his follow up film, was still ok compared to SPIDERMAN1. There was nothing RAIMISH in his films after THE QUICK AND THE DEAD. FOR LOVE OF THE GAME was a COSTNER flick. But SPIDEY 2… SPIDEY 2 is amazing! RAIMI OF EVIL DEAD FAME RETURNS!

This is the second greatest COMIC BOOK FILM of ALL TIME.SUPERMAN 1 is still the film too beat. But it’s almost neck-to-neck. A Friend told me that XMEN 2 is till the sequel to beat!

PARDON MOI? Just because a sequel has more action beats and more explosions and you have the computer graphics running double time does NOT MAKE A FILM GOOD!XMEN 2 was just an excuse to see ADAMANTUIM CLAWS go click! BIG FUCKING DEAL!

SPIDEY2 has more fight scenes and more SPFX. But it also has more plot points and Charm to spare! I went thru a whole gamut of emotions when I saw the movie. I can remember even RETURN OF THE KING failed to do that for me.

DOCTOR OCTUPUS! Well Like I told Cess. He is the best spidey villain there is. He’s not too maniacal like NICOLSON or DAFOE. MOLINA is…well MOLINA.
Originally ARNULD SWAZ was DR OC. And LEONARDO DE CAPRI is PETER PARKER in the JAMES CAMERON version.

I think in the long run that we were lucky; CAMERON scuttled that project after winning the OSCAR. I don’t think ARNULD would have played it as effective as MOLINA. Every time I see arnuld I remember MR FREEZE and it …I just shudder.
Back or Molina, I like the Schizo like relationship he has with his four tentacles. Apparently all villains now have a schizo thing going on. Started with GOLLUM and then we have the GREEN GOBLIN.

Anyway the end shows DR OCTOPUS in the same league as ROY BATTY FROM BLADE RUNNER! Great villains who are larger than life and have the power to make their heroic opponents go,

“ OHHH…He did it. Wow! And I thought he was just a villain.”

CESS: “ How can they top DR OCTOPUS? Who are the other SPiDEY VILLAINS? “

FLIM: “ Well there’s the LIZARD… ELECTRO.”

CESS: “ Who’s ELCTRO? “

FLIM: “ Guy with electrical forks coming out of his head..”

CESS: “ Ugh…DR OC is the best.’

FLIM: “ There’s the vulture.”

CESS: “ What’s that?

FLIM: “ Old balding guy with feathers.”

CESS: “ Yuck.”

FIM: “ There’s the sandman…”

But I agree with her Nothing can top DOC OC. Even the new villain looming in the background doest seem so promising. I’m definitely going to see it again. Maybe in the same theater, I hope to see the same usher again. Maybe we will have a BOUT 2. Hehehehe

TIMING

While everybody slept, they proclaimed her, like a thief in the night. They had to do it in stealth. What does that say? Does that sound like somebody who won fair and square?
If I won…I wouldn’t have my proclamation in the wee hours of the morning. The only ones who are awake are those that are planning or doing NEFARIOUS DEEDS! I would have it in the middle of the day. Sometime before lunch. Having it afterwards, you lose about 30 percent of your viewers because of the siesta habit we appropriated from our Spanish conquerors. I would have it proclaimed thru the four corners of the archipelago that I won! THAT I AM NOW SOLE MASTER OF THE ISLANDS! THAT YOU IDIOTS WOULD BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!

You don’t tip toe your way to the Presidency. I can see her advisors, some of them wearing polka dot pajamas and teddy bear bathrobes. Surrounding her and mouthing off tips!
“ My advise to you, MR PRESIDENT is to have it around 3 AM. In that way you wont have howls of protest. The opposition would still be snoring and drooling on their pillows. By the time they read the papers while having their scrambled eggs and black coffee, they will be too lethargic to reply. They’d just shake it off as “CEST LA VIE.”

Now in the afternoon as the weight of their defeat sinks in. We come up with a unity plan and give them some choice appointments. They would be grateful and would shut up and slowly but surely we’d have them eating out of our hands. But the first step is the timing!

But remember not after lunch! They would be sleeping and digesting and that’s not a very good time to give them this whooper. Oh no. Must be after they wake up. Then they would be more susceptible to …dare I say it, suggestions? “

They did it while we all slept. But they could have done it in the middle of the day and we would have done nothing about it. Even when we are awake… we’re still ASLEEP!!!!

She has just been proclaimed and now our electrical rates are about to shot up! She made a deal with the devil and the piper has come to collect! What did you expect? How did she get that second rate anchor man to become her running mate without his mother company who conveniently owns the ELECTRIC COMPANY giving its blessing. OF COURSE SHE ‘S GOING TO PAY! BUT THE PROBLEM IS SHE’S NOT THE ONE DOING THE PAYING, WE ARE!

In this mornings paper she claims that she had no idea that the electrical rates would be raised. OF COURSE SHE WOULD CLAIM THAT! SHE RAN UNDER THE SLOGAN AND PROMISE THAT THE ELECTRIC RATES WOULD GO DOWN! AND HOW ON EARTH COULD SHE CLAIM THAT WHEN HER MAIN SUPPORTERS ARE THE FAMILY WHO OWNS THE ELCTRIC COMPANY!

And get this; the government would be spending 5 MILLION PESOS for her inauguration. 5 MILLION! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SPEND THAT MUCH FOR
INAGURATING A PRESIDENT? AND THEN THEY THINK OF NEW WAYS TO TAX US BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT DOESN’T HAVE ANY MONEY!

SO ON THE LEFT WE HAVE HER NEFARIOUS PARTNERS (THE ELECTRIC COMPANY and the family that owns it) who are already raising the rates as part of their war spoils and we have the government under her who would use public funds to GLORIFY her.

WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT??????

One of my filmmaking heroes will always be GARY KURTZ. He’s not too popular nowadays because he hasn’t done any high profile films lately but he did produced 3 films that are still considered one of the highest grossing films of all time. AMERICAN GRAFFITI, STARWARS and EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. I wrote earlier on that one of the reasons EPISODE 1AND 2 sucked was because GEORGE LUCAS hired RICK MCCALLUM as his producer. If you don’t believe me watch the DVDs of the a fore mentioned films. MCCALLUM is a YES MAN. He would stop at nothing short of kissing GEORGE LUCAS butts and praising hosannas as long as he gets to keep his job.

Unlike GARY KURTZ who stuck his neck out too often and told LUCAS that some of his ideas don’t work. Well if he didn’t then we would have the EWOKS A FILM TOO EARLY, prancing and uttering their inane gibberish on the HOTH PLANET!

In the early 80s, I remember opening the newspaper one morning and seeing the then PRESIDENT MARCOS welcoming the international delegates of the manila international film festival and my eyes nearly popped out! There seated across him was
GARY KURTZ! He’s a Quaker and had that trademark Quaker beard and the hair that was combed to the left! Of course there was no caption on the paper mentioning his name. But I know that face! His photos in Tunisia beside LUCAS doing STAR WARS were plastered all over the sci-fi magazines that I collected!

My guess was that he was here to promote the release of his latest film the JIM Henson directed DARK CRYSTAL. So I told my cousins who were STAR WARS FREAK that KURTZ was here and that we should shell out the then astronomical 300 pesos to watch the movie premiere in the hope of bumping into him and having him signed my JOHN WILLAIMS STAR WARS SOUNDTRACK DOUBLE LP.

We went in early on the look out for KURTZ. My cousin spotted BEN KINGSLEY who was there for GHANDI and ran after him for an autograph. I was never into the RICHARD ATTENBOURGH 3 HOUR EPIC ABOUT A THIN MAN WHO STARVED HIMSELF TO DEATH. I was into THE GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY.

I didn’t see him but I saw DARK CRYSTAL. It was ok not spectacular. There was something about watching a film starring puppets and marionettes that becomes tedious after the first hour. Anyway, Brian Froud designed some of the creatures in the film.

Kurtz is one of those unique film producers who went to film school and is a filmmaker. He shot second unit photography on STAR WARS and EMPIRE, He was also the still photograher on GODFATHER 2. He can talk and articulate on film preservation and acrhving using the optical printer and storing the original negs minus the primary three colours!

I wonder how EPISODE 1 AND 2 AND RETURN OF THE JEDI would have been like if KURTZ stayed on as producer. A hell of a lot better than the present versions!

And incidentally the original choice to play HAN SOLO was CHRISTOPHER WALKEN. TOSHIRO MIFUNE was being tagged to play OBI WAN KENOBI.

I don’t know about CHRISTOPHER WALKEN but I wonder who would be playing the young OBI WAN if MIFUNE agreed to play KENOBI.

CESS: “ Lend me something to read.”

I gave her MOONSHADOW. After a few hours she returns it to me.

CESS: “ This is really bad. This is full of 80’s pretentious stuff.”

FLIM: “ Don’t you find it poignant? “

CESS: “ It’s trying too hard to be deep …I don’t like it. Now lend me another one.”

So I gave her WATCHMEN.

CESS: “ This is heavy and thick.”

FLIM: “ Try it.”

CESS: “ But why is it dilapidated? “

Cause I left it inside the car and that stupid driver of ours left the windows open one time it was raining. IT GOT SOAKED!HOW CAN ANYONE LEAVE THE CAR WINDOWS OPEN WHEN ITS RAINING????

CESS: “ Well its your fault. You shouldn’t have left it inside the car. The car becomes an oven in the afternoon!

The following day. She returns it to me.

CESS: “ This is good. I like it. I felt bad about ROSHARK. I love his character.”

I took out my pristine V FOR VENDETTA

FLIM: “ Here READ THIS. This is even better.”

CESS: “ Just leave it there. I’ll get back to it I want to see this week’s episode of SIX FEET UNDER.”

FLIM: “ I don’t know about leaving it around…

CESS: “ You’re being too paranoid again.”

An inner voice told me that it would be a bad idea. I’m not use to just leaving my good books lying around. But I thought I was just being too paranoid. So I left it on the bed and we watched that bad series.

Then we ate lunch . When I leafed thru the copy I was shocked to find giant creases on the cover and the pages were mangled!

I SCREAMED IN HORROR!!!!!

I confronted the maid.

FLIM: “ WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BOOK??? ”

MAID: “ I didn’t do anything.”

FLIM: “ This book was pristine when I left it in the room and after you cleaned up…. Look at this now?”

But of course she continues to deny it.

CESS: Maybe it was damaged before.”

FLIM: “ No it was pristine and mint when I took it out of the shelf. Look at the folded edges. She dropped it while cleaning. It WAS ON THE BED! NOW ITS ON THE DRAWER! SOMETHING HAPPENED IN BETWEEN ITS TRIP FROM THE BED TO THE DRAWER! SHE DROPPED IT AND SHE WONT EVEN ADMIT IT!”

CESS: “ Yes I think she dropped it. Look at the pages. This is where it fell! “

FLIM: “ The thing that gets to me is that she wont even admit it!”

CESS: “ It takes strength of character to do that. If she has that then she wont be a maid anymore. Unlike JING-JING the maid we had before.She returned a 500peso bill that she found downstairs …now that is strength of character! “

CESS:” Besides it’s just a crease. You shouldn’t freak out over it! “

FLIM: “ Werent you the one who admonished me about leaving WATCHMEN inside the car? “

CESS: “ Let me take a look at it. Its not so …yes it doesn’t look so good anymore! “

FLIM: “ LOOK AT THAT GIANT CREASE! RUNNING ON THE FRONT COVER!
It’s like you take care of it. You read it without opening the spine too much.
You know how difficult it is to do that. Then this IDIOT comes waltzing in
and within a space of a few minutes she destroys something that took you 12
years to take care of!

I fondled my mangled V FOR VENDETTA.

CESS: “ Don’t feel bad. I’ll buy you a new copy. It’s my father’s day gift to you.”

It was nice of her to do so. But we’re not just talking about another copy. I had this copy since 92. It has been my book for 12 years.

Then the words of an old teacher came back, “ THE UNIVERSE ABHORS PERFECTION.”

Indeed. The driver drenched my WATCHMEN copy. Now its wrinkled and stained.
Then that stupid maid mangled V FOR VENDETTA. One thing’s for sure domestic helps really hate ALAN MOORE.

FLIM: “ I’m not going to connect the cable tv downstairs anymore.”

For days now I have been trying to repair the cable connection to the tv downstairs so that the domestic help would have access to cable tv. It has been connected for such a long time now but recently the link kept slipping off. Me being a nice guy would go out of my way to try fixing the problem so that the DOMESTICS would have something to watch.

But now all the semblance of a nice guy quickly left me

FLIM: “ I’m not going to connect the cable tv downstairs anymore.”

Anyway when they didn’t have cable they just watch the shitty programs in channel 2. When we had the cable connected downstairs they still stuck on channel 2. But the reception became clearer. Well now…

IN THE WORDS OF THE IMMORTAL KHAN NOON SIGN ,

FLIM: “ LET THEM MEET STATIC! “

DAY 4

Fever’s gone but still weak. Funny thing is the fish is now swimming belly up and quite vigorously.


DAY THREE

Cess is staring at the aquarium. Still coughing. General malaise. Cant even go to the gym because …joints hurt.

CESS: “ I hope the fish gets well.

FLIM: “ You can always get another fish. A prettier one than that! “

CESS: “ But Selina loves this fish. She even gave him a name, ELMO.”

CESS: “Do you think this is natural? “

FLIM: “ No. I don’t think so.”

She is pointing at SELINA’s fish that was swimming belly up.

CESS: “ But look it’s swimming.’

FLIM: “ As far as I know only humans can do back strokes. When a fish does something like that it’s not good.”

CESS: “ Maybe it’s preparing to sleep. Have you seen how fish sleep? “

FLIM: “ It’s the middle of the day. What it was up all night partying? “

CESS: “ And look at the water level. It has decreased rapidly since yesterday.”

Selina’s YAYA, AIDA joins this bizarre conversation.

AIDA: “ MUM, that’s what they call evaporation.”

Then our cook DALIA butts in.

DALIA: “ NO! OF COURSE NOT. The water decreased because the fish drank it, what else? Do you see him getting out of the aquarium to get a drink of water? “

FLIM:” QUIET ALL OF YOU! I can’t think!

I look at the fish .By now he has stopped swimming around and is just belly up and breathing.

FLIM: “ Maybe he got the flu just like the rest of us.”

Ever since Friday, Selina was down with the flu and then Cess went down, Saturday morning. Then it was my turn today. My head is aching and I have a bad cold.

FLIM: “ Don’t you find it strange that the fish is sick just like the rest of us.”?

CESS: “ MY sister said that she owned that fish for years and it doesn’t get sick.”

FLIM: “ Well the Huns conquered ROME eventually! “

CESS: “ She said that we should give it some medicine.”

I look at her and scratch my head with wonder.

FILM: “ And how do you propose we do that? Its mouth isn’t that big for me to ram the pills inside.”

CESS: “ I think that fish has been over fed. Selina’s been feeding him twice a day when the normal rate is that you feed it every other day.”

I then look at the small culprit who is staring at the fish.

FLIM: “ Great going kid. You just killed your first pet at the age of three. With the rate you’re going I bet you’ll be up the clock tower at age six. And hiding at the grassy knoll at 10.”

CESS: “ We have to save the fish. That’s the baby’s favorite past time. Feeding her.’

FLIM: “ Didn’t we used to have more fish? “

CESS: “ We had four, that fish ate it all.”

There’s more drama today around the aquarium stand than there is on cable.

FLIM: “ Let bring it to a marine biologist and see what happens.”

CESS: “ He’s overfed and he’s sick from gluttony. My sister said that we should check the MEDICAL EMERGENCY book.”

FLIM: “ That’s for humans! Its not like he’s choking on a chicken bone or something.”

CESS: “ Maybe we should try pumping his stomach.”

The DVDs I ordered arrived yesterday. They weighed a ton! So after working for nine straight hours I decided to just pop one to relax. Got a couple of ice-cold beers and two packs of junk food. Forgot what brand it was, but they were very good. I leave the junk food acquisition to Cess. She’s a connoisseur when it comes to junk food, sadly I can’t say the same when it comes to real food.

I started with FUTURAMA, season1. I kept seeing it when I flipped channels but I don’t really find it interesting to catch my attention. By the end of the first episode, I’M NOW A CERTIFIED FUTURAMA FAN!

I CANT GET ENOUGH! I think its better than the SIMPSONS. I attribute it partly to the fact that I’m also a science fiction fan!

The sad part is that I only ordered season 1& 2. But after writing this I m getting the third season! Anyway. I just finished disc one, no need to get greedy! I’ll just watch it in my own good time, like drinking good wine! You swirl it around not like the 24 or the alias series where you gulp it down in one sitting!


I Submitted the pilot episode budget break down on the net. Funny how one does not need to get out of the house to get things down. I remember when my brother a computer tech, way before the term was fashionable, wont go to his office in IBM and would just send his reports thru the modem.

FLIM: “ How can you send those thick papers thru the phone line? Are you trying to mind fuck me again? “

JUN: “ It goes thru the modem. I can do anything I have to do in the office, right inside the house! I can write my proposals and business plans here, wearing my smelly shorts and naked if I wanted too. I don’t have to dress up and drive thru traffic and pay for bad cafeteria food. I can do everything in the house! Believe me this is the thing of the future.
You can send letters to any part of the world without making the trip to the postal office and being in line with 15 other people so you can buy stamps! And your letters get there as soon as you send them! Technology! “

FLIM: “ So what you’re telling me is that I can have my shoot film footages sent thru your modem and then processed in JAPAN? “

JUN: “ Oh…not that kind. That’s a thing! What I’m talking about is electronic data.’ For that you have to fall in line with those 15 other people and dropped in the traditional way!

Yesterday I was aghast to find out who the winners of the senatorial race where. Imagine TWO ACTORS WHOSE MOTHER AND FATHER ARE ALREADY IN THE SENATE, WON! I can already imagine their breakfast chatter in the morning.

SON SENATOR: “ Mom can you pass the fried rice! “

MOTHER SENATOR: “I’m not talking to you! You were supposed to back me up The liposuction embargo that I’m heading! “

SON SENATOR: “ Mom, I can’t do that. I need one this afternoon. What would happen if the doctor found out! She might take out something that doesn’t grow back! “

MOTHER SENATOR: “ I’m still not talking to you!”

SON SENATOR: “ Mom…come on… don’t be mad.”

MOTHER SENATOR: “ I nearly died when I delivered you. I would walk you to school every day even when my arthritis was killing me. Who SAVED UP ALL HER DAILY EARNINGS SO she can buy you that metal robot that came in 5 different pieces so you can put them all together and make one giant robot, WHO? WHO? “

SON SENATOR: “ ALLRIGHT! YOU HAVE MY VOTE! “
MOTHER SENATOR: “ That’s my son! Here’s your fried rice. And I cooked your favorite adobe along with it! Don’t forget to convince your best friend to join the embargo too. “

SON SENATOR: “ MOM! He has his own mind! He wont be swayed by me! “

MOTHER SENATOR: “ WELL YOU REMIND HIM, HOW MANY TIMES HE SLEPT OVER, HERE WHEN YOU WERE KIDS. ALSO REMIND HIM WHO IS HIS GODMOTHER! IN BIRTH AND IN HIS WEDDING! WHO GAVE HIM THAT BMW Z3? WHO? WHO? WHO? “

SAW TROY last week. It was a fun romp. The thing that really cracked me up was when I was leaving the theater. There was this guy in front of me and he saw someone he knew from the long line of people going in for the next showing.

GUY: “ Hey JOJO!

JOJO: “ HEY MAN. Was it good? “

GUY: “ Ye but BRAD PITT DIES! “

JOJO: “ You fuck! You just spoilt the movie for me.”

Hehehehe! These guys should host a local TV show. They’re a riot! Of course BRAD PITT DIES! He is ACHILLES. But then on second thought Jojo might be right. I mean the writer did bastardize the ILLIAD. MENEALUS dies at the hands of PARIS! BRIESES Then stabs AGAMEMMON on the jugular there by robbing CLYMESTRA and her lover of that small bathroom incident and her place in the tragic ridden stories of the ATRUES bloodline.

(A small list of altered plotlines.)

Paris survives and HELEN flees with the Trojan women.

ANDROMMACHE and her son escapes

In fact I was kind of disappointed that BRAD PITT died. If they were going to change the story that much then they should have gone for broke.

ACHILLES instead of trying to find his girlfriend would rescue PRIAM from the psychotic AGAMEMMON (They did share a special moment which was more memorable than the one with the priestess of APOLLO.)

He’ll stab Agamemnon and say “YOU WERE NEVER MY KING, YOU FAT FUCK!MY SWORD NOW SERVES LAWRENCE OF ARBIA

THE SCRIPT WRITER jettisoned the dipping of ACHILLES in the river Styx.So I ask, why still have him die with an arrow thru the heel. WHAT’S THE POINT?

I was never much a fan of WOLFGANG PETERSON. His earlier works like DAS BOOT and NEVERENDING STORY were enjoyable but his latter stuff are…
Well anyway.

I hope they do a sequel, THE TROJAN WOMEN. Ad line goes.


THEY DESTROYED HER CITY!

MURDERED HER HUSBAND!

SLAUGHTERED HER FATHER- IN LAW!

NOW ANDROMACHE IS BACK! WITH AN ARMY OF WIDOWS. ARMED WITH SWORDS AND POISONED JAVELINS, THEY SET SAIL FOR ITHACA, MYCENAE AND SPARTA! ON A PATH OF VENGEANCE!

THE TROJAN WOMEN!

DIRECTED BY PAUL VERHOVEN! “


I brought my latest work and pitched my idea for the TV series to the creative director. It was approved! He told me that he loved the film I showed him and that I should also develop that into a series.

Maybe this is the time to hire more people.


Last Sunday I had an accident. I was visiting a friend’s digital film studio when I slip from the staircase and landed back first on the floor. For a second I viewed the world from that perspective. For a second I didn’t think about the complicated sound dubs and Script revisions that were expected of me. I just lay there. Listening as the world turned on its axis.

Then I groaned in pain. My butt hit the hardest and then the back and then the right arm and then the neck. I remember when I was acting for someone’s film backing college where I will flung myself on a flight of stairs and come back again for another take…Ahh those were the days.

The offer was given inside this loud club in the Fort last week Would I like to have my own cable show. With a running time of 40-45 minutes. I have the option of doing anything that I want. Anything! The executive in charge of programming has seen my independent films in competition years back and has total faith in whatever I come up with.

I told him that the last time I directed a television series, I turned a routine sports show into a horror movie and shot a five minute chase scene between a passenger jeep and a hearse.

He asked me why.

I told him that I had to break the monotony of television hosts rappelling and trekking in the mountains with something totally out there.

To my surprise he said that he saw it too. He loved that particular episode.

He said that my style and sensibility are perfect for the new cable channel that they are putting up. The channel’s trust is on being hip and cool.

I thought for a moment. Well I don’t know about being cool. I think I stopped being cool when I got married. Or maybe I wasn’t cool in the first place and had just mere illusions of being cool. Or probably I was cool and am still cool and could be the coolest of cool people I have ever met in my life.

As my thoughts strayed somewhere he asked what I would want to do.
Before committing I wanted to know what the basic terms where. I asked who owns the rights to the show. He said that I would. That they’re end is to market the show and provide the airtime. Sounds interesting.

He told me that I could do anything. And I thought anything! That’s tough. What does one do when given the absolute freedom to do anything? Should I do a teleseries? A fantasy series? A Horror anthology? A variety show? A reality show? How about a biblical epic or a mini series?

“ If you want you can even do a reality show. Knowing you you’ll come up with something really skewered and black.”

Then he went talking about doing the sound in 5.1 surrounds. And that I should submit my sound dubs on this particular disc.

I must confess the concept of doing anything is most intriguing. And the more I thought about it…the more tempting it becomes. I can do anything that I wanted. What a strange feeling.




I saw VAN HELSING the other day and funny enough I loved it. I don’t know why. Walking in I knew it’s going to be tons of predictable one loner and plot situations. The Movie started midway and I went to the john first.

I muttered, “ They’ll probably have a line like, HE’S KILLED THE VAMPIRE!”

Three seconds later I hear over the speakers inside the john. ‘ HE’S KILLED THE VAMPIRE!”

I chuckled to myself. But hey this is a vampire hunter movie so what do you expect.

But when I watched…I was totally swept away. I don’t know. The plot was horrible.
There was some extrapolation on Van Helsings origin when Dracula utters something like, “ NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN GABRIEL. You don’t remember me do you? “

Then there’s a line from Hugh Jackman that he remembers fighting the Romans in MASADA. SO I guess he’s the angel Gabriel. Unfortunately there was no follow-ups to it to make it concrete.

Despite those flaws and the over acting excesses of DRACULA. I loved the movie. It was fun. I expected to leave my brain on the ticket counter when I came in so…
It was fun. Strangely enough I loved this film more than Hellboy, which is even stranger because I love the comic.

But I always have a soft spot for the UNIVERSAL MONSTER MOVIES. I grew up on these when I was a kid. I’m a BORIS KARLOFF, BELA LUGOSI, BASILRATHBONE, LONCHANEY SR AND JR, and JACK PIERCE fan.

I also loved MONSTER SQUAD precisely for the same reason. There’s this scene, which is priceless. A vortex opens up and the kids had to use the blood of a virgin to stop it.They use the elder sister's blood. But the vortex just keeps on comming.

One of the kids turns around and tells the sister.

“ YOU’RE NOT REALLY A VIRGIN ARE YOU? “

“ Well I had this thing with my ex –boyfriend but he doesn’t count.” She replies.

“ DOESN’T COUNT? “ the kid screams back and they all look at each other because they know they’re fucked!

The SPFX here is better than those of HELLBOY. After all it was done by ILM. The opening battle with HYDE is incredible. The design for the creature mirrors a giant midget. This is the ultimate CG Hyde.

I don’t know why there’s a trend for Victorian spfx packages. You had League and then there’s VAN HELSING. But that’s how Hollywood works.

Anyway I love this movie next to the MUMMY this is a great universal horror revival. I HATED MUMMY RETURNS the same way I HATED XMEN 2. Just because the sequel has more action and set pieces doesn’t mean that it gets better.

As much As I like this movie, in my book there is only one actor who is the quintessential VAN HELSING, PETER CUSHING. That’s GOVENOR TARKIN to you philistines!

Every time I see a flick where he has a titanic fight scene with the other quintessential DRACULA, CHRISTOPER LEE I jump on my seat!

The Best Dracula movie I ever saw was the first one CHRIS LEE starred in, THE HORROR OF DRACULA! TOD BROWNING’S 1931 film with BELA LUGOSI is great for the atmospherics but BELA moves too slowly for my taste. He’s more a leering old man in white make up than what I imagined DRACULA to be.

But CHRISTOPER LEE is the ERROL FLYN of DRACULAS. He runs and snarls and wears blood tinted contact lenses!

And PETER CUSHING jumps right in after him! He runs over tables and slides on them to tear the curtains off the windows to reveal…….TA DAH!!!! SUNLIGHT!

Another favorite of mine is DRACULA PRINCE OF DARKNESS. Cushing plays VAN HELSING’s 20 th century progeny. If I remember correctly DRACULA drafted some scientists to come up with a doomsday plague. As if Vampirism isn’t enough.

When I was a kid, my classmates would come in with their hardy boys hard cover. And I would lug along my HORROR in CINEMA hardcover! Most of the time they don’t understand why I was in it. But would always ask me how an effect was done.
I hope they do CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON next.

This is Selina’s new fixation!

Much to Cess’s relief. She’s out grown SOUTH PARK. Because Cess thrashed my copy in the garbage bin. She gave me fair warning prior to that ,that she would throw
the dvd if she ever caught me showing it to SELINA. Well she caught me, fair and square. (Little did she know that I salvaged it in the dead of night. I had to wade thru our black plastic garbage bag when I knew she was asleep.)

Selina then went to a WALT DISNEY PHASE. It lasted for three months.

Then it was SHRECK.I practically memorized the entire film when she would watch it three times a day while I edited beside her!

Yesterday I was cleaning my dvd collection and she took the WALLACE & GROMIT SPECIAL EDITION DVD and played it in her player. And thus begun her BRITISH SENSIBILTY brainwashing SESSIONS.

SELINA: “ MOMEE may I have water perchance? “

CESS: “ That’s more like it! “

I love reading and collecting books. Problem is, most of the books I want are seldom available here. So when I heard thru the family grapevine that my cousin Jerome was coming back with his family for a quick holiday vacation I emailed him and gave him a list of books that I wanted. The majority of them are hard bound 300-400 page books.
Within two weeks he arrived with the books. And boy do they weigh a ton. Only relatives would go thru the hardship of lugging at least 12 pounds of books from Los Angeles to down town manila.

And to top it all, he even gave me one book as a gift. Thanks a lot Jerome.

Those books were my only companion during the holy week holidays and I had a great time reading them. In fact I’m still going thru them as of now.

As of now I have three book cases and that’s not counting the one We had made under the stairs.

CESS: “ My vision is flickering. I think I need to see a doctor.

The following day after the doctor’s appointment.

CESS: “ The doctor tells me that my retinas might detach and if they do I have to rush to the doctor ASAP! “

FLIM: “ How would you know if your retinas detached? “

CESS: “ My eye sight would have this flashing white light. If that happens I should rush to the hospital and they might save my sight. The sooner it is treated the bigger the chance I won’t go blind. And no blows to the head. One blow could sever them. ”

FLIM: “ I may be a charming scoundrel and a devil may care, not to mention charismatic Villain but one thing I don’t do is beat you up! “

CESS: ” You gave me one a year ago.”

FLIM: “ WITH THE PILLOW? IN A PILLOW FIGHT? YOU’RE THE ONLY WHO INSTIGATES A PILLOW FIGHT AND YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT GETTING HIT!

CESS: “ Still…”

FLIM: “ My dear…in a pillow fight as in any mock battle you cannot put restrictions on which part you would not be hit! Combat is a random event! Read the ART OF WAR! Strike anywhere! In the heat of battle I don’t run a mental catalogue of your frailty points. On the contraire! Those vulnerabilities would be exploited! Besides in a fight it’s not the logical part of the brain that works it’s the reptilian side…OBDULA OBLONGATA! “

CESS: “ No more pillow fights, then!”

FLIM: “Great…now what to do on Saturday nights! “

I consulted my sister who happens to be, forgive me for boasting, one of the most eminent PATHOLOGIST in the country today what she thought.

DR CESS: “ She’s right any blows to the head could sever them.”

FLIM: “ How about instantaneous braking? Our idiot driver brakes aggressively all the time. “

DR. CESS: “ Hmmmmmm…that too I guess. Just minimize any surface tensions on her head. Her retinas are totally strained as of now. Legally she is blind… with her grade.”

Back in the house.

CESS: “ I think it’s inevitable. I will go blind. How can I take care of the baby? How could I see her grows up?

FLIM: “ You wont go blind! Your eyes are just tired. Just relax.”

CESS: “ If my retinas detached then I have to be within striking distance of a hospital.”

FLIM: “ So that means no more out of town trips. I should carry around an empty plastic cup.”

CESS: “ For what? “

FLIM: “ Well if your eye pops out I’d run after it and pack it in ice! “

CESS: “ The retina detaches not the eyeball! In the doctors clinic there was a man who had his retina severed when he was just scratching his eyelid. And there was another patient who had his detached when he sneezed! “

FLIM: “ Makes you think how frail the human body is!”

CESS: “ What if the baby wants me to read her, fairy tale stories. How am I going to do that? “

FLIM: “ Don’t worry! I can record your voice reading out aloud all her books and when she wants you to read her one, you just pop in a tape! “

CESS: “ What if she wants sleeping beauty and I slip in Cinderella?”

Then we both started laughing. But I really feel sorry for Cess. And I started wondering how is it going to be if she does go…. AH FUCK IT! I’ll just be there, white plastic cup in hand.

CESS: “ Maybe I should start filing the office reports in Braille! “

Aside from making films and video and whatever lies in between I love to cook as well.
Strangely the people I do know, the good cooks are mostly male. Well in my generation at least. Occasionally I would swap recipes with my actors, or producers. The cameraman would from time to time give me a few pointers on how to make coffee carpenter (karpentero style), which is plenty of sugar and milk. Sometimes I find it baffling that he does not just buy a milk shake but if you go to the latest coffee hangout I have a sneaking suspicion that his recipe for coffee is now a standard mix.

Most of the time when I come home from a shoot, dinner is either cold or whatever is left wouldn’t be much. So I’d whip out my time honored FLIM NUKED RICE. This recipe is only used when you come home late at night and youre stuck with ingredients that are already there!

The ingredients are as followed.

ANYTHING THAT YOU CAN FIND IN THE FRIDGE OR IN THE CUPBOARD WOULD DO!

Next deep-fry olive oil for about 10 minutes over a small fire.

Then chop up some garlic. The more garlic, the better!

Then fry the said garlic till it turns golden brown!

Then follow it up with four balls of onions! Yes! Smell the aroma!

Beautiful isn’t it!

Then take out the refrigerated rice and crushed it with your bare hands. Till they separate into tiny granules! Sprinkle some water to hasten the process

Then you dump it into the olive oil.

I said Olive oil because a lot of people are health nuts but if you want it to be really delicious, use the cooked pork oil that your housemaid used when she deep-fried those pork chops last month!

I tell you that would be truly divine.

Then get a slab of butter and throw it on top of that steaming heap.

We usually stock a lot of Spam and mahling for unwanted visitors. Now if you don’t have that, Vienna sausage would do. Chop it up into tit bits and have a second fire going and fry those suckers yeah!!!! But save the Vienna sausage juice that usually accompanies it …we’ll use that later!

Get your worstecher sauce or if you like the local variant, knorr seasoning and dab your
Fired rice with it while it simmering.

Your fired sausages would be golden brown by now. So dump it and the oil that used into the friend rice!

Now we also have canned mushrooms in the cupboard. If you don’t then you should start lecturing your wife for not having a fully loaded cupboard. You can never tell if an atomic bomb suddenly drops from the sky or a coup happens in the last minute. I don’t see a rationale person running to the supermarket to do some last minute shopping while fifteen pound shells are exploding all over the place.

Anyway back to the mushrooms. Fry it too on the separate frying pan! While that’s happening get four eggs and scramble those! Don’t forget to put some salt into it!

I don’t know about you but I always have a bottle of wine beside the kitchen so I’d put swish of that in! Trust me it adds some exotic flavor to your eggs. I mean how long have you been eating eggs right…this would give you an extra boost from your mundane egg eating days!

Now when your eggs have foamed… drop it on the fried mushrooms. Let it settle for a minute or two and then mash it all over!

Then dump the egg mushroom mix into the second pan! Mix the entire thing! And open a can of beer, you’re set!

It beats eating re heated food anytime. At least you actually cooked it. And the best part is hearing the maids bitching in the morning about the giant mess you left…

Last Tuesday I hitched my way to Robinson’s early in the morning to watch THE PASSION. I have been really excited to watch it ever since I first read in the net that MEL GIBSON was doing a CHRIST movie.

I have seen tons of biblical movies. They’re my personal favorite. Anything that has sword sandals and togas. Most of them are historical or biblical stories and then theirs the occasional RAY HARRYHAUSEN VARIANT that would have GIANT BRONZE MEN and monsters! COOL!

Some of my friends already warned me to bring a Kleenex or two. I told them that are what the long sleeve is for.

The screening ended at around 1:30. It ‘s not a film that I recommended that you start the day with.

But I love the movie.

It’s a SPLATTER PUNK JESUS CHRIST flick!

But what would you expect when the director of the film is MAD MAX.

And the best part is that its earning hundreds and millions in the box office. Leaving the film executives scratching their heads because they refuse to distribute the film or produce it and declared that it won’t make a penny.

The problems in Hollywood now are that the film executives are running the studios. They based the marketability and the decision of producing a movie on …what else, MARKET RESEARCH.

Your idea must have a pre-cursor or hit film that grossed millions to ensure the go-signal.

So when you pitch you do something like this.

FLIM: “ OK this is an action adventure movie that has a strong supernatural flavor.”

FILM EXECUTIVE: “ Uhm…I don’t get it.”

FLIM: “ its RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK MEETS THE EXORCIST.”

FILM EXE: “ Hey that’s good. Raiders is one of the top grossing films of PARAMOUNT and has big revenue in the DVD market and the EXORCISTS. That baby went thru the roof even after the seventh re-issue!”

So its no wonder that when you watch Hollywood films they have a factory look and they have factory directions and a factory ending.

There was a time when film studios were run by filmmakers. Producers like DAVID O SLEZNICK were very gifted and talented individuals who knew inherently if a film is good not because of the money it would generate but by the substance and the story. He was the one who was personally responsible for bringing in ALFRED HITCHCOCK from ENGLAND

SLEZNICK created pictures that were classic gems like REBECCA, GONE WITH THE WIND and DUEL IN THE SUN.

The invasion of lawyers of marketing people into the higher echelons of Hollywood started around the late 70s. That coupled by the seeping in of television executives and mid management level people started the creative stranglehold of Hollywood produced movies.

So imagine how difficult it is to pitch a film when the bottom line is that it should gross 100 million in the domestic release alone.

For every trashy A-1 movie concept that was released, there were twenty great and original films that were trashed and thrown in the waste bin.

When Lucas pitched STAR WARS NED TANEN of UNIVERSAL pictures rejected it because there was no precedent and claimed it wont make any money.

I wonder how he is holding up right now. It’s amazing how things work. You pitch an idea and the studios would predict that it wouldn’t make any money and show you to the door. So you opt and produce it on your own. Then it becomes a box office hit because it’s unique and not the dime a dozen products out there. So you know what happens next? The studios that refused and damned your idea would now rush and climb over each other to duplicate and copy your film.

That’s what happened to STAR WARS. Universal initially passed it off and when it made money they created BATTLESTAR GALACTICA even going as low as getting JOHN DRYSTRA, STAR WARS special effects supervisor to make their product more STAR WARISH.

PATHETIC.

And that’s what’s going to happen to THE PASSION. In a few months there will be several biblical films on the production slate.

PETER’S PASSION

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO LUKE

THE ADVENTURES OF MARY MAGDALENE IN THE CITY OF SODOM

PILATE’S HYGENE

And the unauthorized sequel to THE PASSION, which of course would be entitled THE RESURRECTION.

This is on top of the MUST HAVE LIST. Unfortunately it contains the special editions instead of the original cuts. I hate the special editions. The spfx enhancements shouldn’t have been retouched it reflects the cutting edge technology that they had way back in 77. I don’t see RAY HARRYHAUSEN going back and redoing his incredible films. The most he did was to re-time and color correct the restoration. Unlike the full renovation that LUCAS did.

But if you have access to that kind of technology, wouldn’t you go back to re do and tinker with your previous work?

Fix the glitches and some of the minor stuff but do not alter the story structure LIKE GREEDO FIRING FIRST!!!!

HAN SOLO FRIED GREEDO as soon AS THAT GREEN SLIME FINISHED HIS TREATH! Without flinching an eyebrow. That shows how cunning and ruthless the corellian pirate is. But now he’s an American cowboy. YOU HAVE TO GET SHOT FIRST BEFORE YOU FIRE BACK, SELF DEFENCE AND ALL THAT CRAP!

I’LL HOLD ON TO MY LASER DISC COLLECTION. They’re going to be priceless someday. Because it contains the original cut of all three films.

Lucas should have just included them in the four discs set collection as a streaming branching option.

Ahh well we cant have everything now can we?

Personally I’m thinking of remastering my earlier work BATTLE OF CONCEPCION AGUILA. Beef it up with some CG jets dive bombing and some pyrotechnic effects.
Originally I just shot model planes that I threw across the camera and some wire work.
My missiles were made out of pentel pens and plastic what have you’s

The trouble with viewing your works in the past is that it was done by a different person.
And now is being viewed by somebody else. You cringe on some shots and wonder why did you ever let it get into the release stage.

But then those works are very important. It reflects your growth as a person, as a filmmaker or a painter. These works are time capsules of an era long gone. The most you can do is preserve the original and do your alterations and brand it as a special edition. OR a re-imagining if you will. I won’t have the gall to call it a special edition if I do tinker with it. I’ll call it VERSION 2 or something.

Last Monday I wandered into landmark and saw the rare BATMAN retro action figure!Yikes! I QUICKLY grabbed it and inquired if there was anymore. The saleslady said that it was a leftover from last month’s delivery. So I walked out and proudly carried my latest catch. I then went to CIBO and bought a TIRAMISU cake and sat down to admire and priss on my latest acquisition.

The sculpting was incredible and the detail work, …wow! I stopped collecting toys almost a year ago. I just didn’t find anything worth collecting. I have two criteria’s for
Getting a figure.

1.The character must be someone or something that I grew up on. Well not just a character but also any item from my pop cultural passes. Such as the BATMOBILE from the 60’s ADAM WEST /BURT WARD series. Or the SEAVIEW and the MINI SUB from THE VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA.

2.The toy must be hard to find. Otherwise why would make your collection special when you can hike up to the nearest mall and just buy it off the counter. (Most collectors would disagree with me on this, but this is my criterion! Having a hard to find toy does not only boost your collection and your pride but it also makes it terribly easy to sell it in a higher price.

But the real reason I think is, if the toy or item is hard to find it makes the search and quest more interesting. Panting and pining over an object is a much more interesting endeavor than actually acquiring the thing.

I knew that then and I know it now. Sitting in the coffee shop in just a space of over twenty minutes the elation and excitement I initially felt began to subside. Now the Holy Grail shrank before my eyes and became what it really was…a toy for 6 year olds.

Well I told myself, I still have a very rare toy. Until I walked into another toyshop and discovered 3 more BATMAN retros.

FLIM: “ I thought these were rare!

STOREKEEPER: “ They are. We just got lucky.”

FLIM: “ Ok, I’ll buy them all.”

As I went home. The feeling of hunting down the sole surviving BATMAN RETRO didn’t feel so special when you’re lugging in 3 more. Hell There’s always EBAY.